


Broken

by alliecat23784



Series: Broken [1]
Category: One Direction
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bottom Harry, Coping, Death but not of a major character and it's before the story starts, Famous Harry, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Grieving, Hand Jobs, Harry just likes to be held down, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Non-Famous Niall, Top Niall, chat room, very very light Dom/sub
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-16
Updated: 2017-05-16
Packaged: 2018-05-18 05:36:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 52,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5900329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alliecat23784/pseuds/alliecat23784
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry accidentally meets Niall in a chatroom a couple of months after the death of his long time boyfriend. They don't know each other and have never met but they bond over their mutual losses and Niall finds a way to help Harry learn to live again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Broken

**Author's Note:**

> If you're reading this, THANK YOU!! I hope you enjoy it. 
> 
> I want to start by saying this is all COMPLETELY fiction, made up in my head. It is not meant to offend anyone and I certainly don't want to upset anyone so if you have lost a loved one and think reading about grief and loss will trigger you in anyway, please proceed with caution. 
> 
> I completely made up Niall's job in this story. I wanted him to be a very intelligent businessman but I also wanted him to work around Football so I made something up. CFO's do exist in the business world but I have no idea if they exist on the business side of Football so, if they don't, just please remember this is fiction!
> 
> I hope everyone enjoys the story! If you can, please leave kudos or comments! It makes me very happy to hear what you all like or don't like about it.

Harry had thought he was finally coming out the other side of the worst year of his life. He couldn't have been more wrong.

 

It began in the month of February, only a week removed from his twenty-third birthday. It had been rainy and mild for three days straight, followed by a bone chilling cold spell that turned every ounce of rain that had fallen, into ice.

 

Growing up in England meant Harry was used to the rain. People around him often complained about it but Harry liked it. He liked those days when the sky would cloud over and open up, producing heavy sheets of rain that hit the roof so hard it sounded like there was a stampede of animals dancing around on it. He would spend those days curled up with a good book or with his journal, writing lyrics for his next album while sitting in the window seat of his bedroom drinking cup after cup of his favourite tea while the radio played softly in the background.

 

Harry doesn't quite like the rain anymore. In fact he despises it. The sound of it against the roof no longer relaxes him but sends him into a rage. The rain that fell for four straight days in February, turned to ice on the roads when the temperature dropped and in the blink of an eye, took the man Harry loved with all his heart, away from him.

 

After the accident that took his long time boyfriend, Jack, from him, Harry completely shut down. He doesn't remember a whole lot of what happened over the first few weeks after Jack's death. He had been completely numb, in a state of denial, refusing to believe Jack wasn't coming home.

 

His family had become increasingly concerned about him and by April his Mum and sister were sitting at his kitchen table, begging him to get help. To talk to somebody, anybody about how he was feeling. He had stood up so abruptly from the table that his chair fell over and smacked hard against the tiled floor, and started screaming at his family as if they meant nothing to him. He had cursed at them and screamed at them to get out of his face and by the time they left his house that day, the look of hurt and devastation on their faces was completely ingrained in his mind, making him feel so guilty he sobbed into his hands, on his knees on the kitchen floor for an hour straight that night.

 

It was that guilt that had him searching the internet the next day for something to help him. His Mum had kept going on about support groups for people who were grieving a loved one so he checked it out, he really did, but he knew there was no way he was going to some meeting once or twice a week, drinking weak coffee and eating stale donuts while he listened to everyone talk about a loved one they lost. He couldn't sit there and look at the pain on everyone's face when he knew he'd see the same thing if he looked in a mirror.

 

He was about to stop looking, satisfied that he had at least _looked_ into it, when his finger slipped over the screen of his I-pad and he accidentally clicked on a link. The link had brought him into a chat room of sorts, which was funny since Harry didn't think chat rooms even existed anymore, not in 2017. Everyone used twitter, tumblr, Facebook, tinder or any number of apps these days. They never actually met people in chat rooms. There it was though, right in front of him, and for some reason he couldn't avert his eyes from all the different posts that were popping up in the chat room.

 

He doesn't know how it happened, or even why, since Harry could simply sit there reading all the different posts without creating an account, but a couple hours later he'd created an account for himself and is now able to post his own messages himself if he wanted to and not just read what everyone else is posting.

 

He doesn't post anything, though, at least not right away. He just watches and takes it all in, reading what other people are saying about their losses without having to sit across from them and look into their eyes. It doesn't necessarily hurt any less but at least there's nobody there to see his emotions play out as he reads other people's stories and relives his own.

 

A few weeks after he joined the chat room and repeatedly found himself coming back to it, spending hours sometimes reading conversations, one of the regulars in the chat addresses him for the first time. The persons username is **Irishlad91** and when Harry sees himself being addressed for the fist time, his heart stops for a moment and he freezes with his hands gripping the sides of his I-pad sitting in his lap.

 

**Irishlad91: Hi Curly0201. Noticed you here a few times. You're very welcome here and if you ever want to talk to us we'll be here to listen.**

 

Harry couldn't even move for a long time after that message. One of the reasons being that Jack's nickname for him was Curly and even though Harry knew it would be torture for himself to pick that name, he did it anyway. Now, just being addressed by that name, even just on a screen, brings back so many memories of Jack calling him that. All those times when he was on tour and would wake up to a text message simply saying 'Good morning, Curly' came flooding back to him making his heart ache to the point where he thought it was literally being ripped apart inside him.

 

Another reason he couldn't move was because he found himself actually wanting to reply to the message. The fact that it was all completely anonymous and he wouldn't have to actually face somebody made him want to spill his guts about everything he was feeling. This was the first time since Jack died that he actually wanted to talk about it and that frightened him senseless.

 

In the end, he didn't join in on the chat for almost another month. It was on a Wednesday night when he was at the end of his rope. He had spent all day in meetings with his manager and record label, listening to them bicker about his next album and how they're behind schedule. Luckily for Harry, his manager, who has also become a friend over the past five years, had his back and threw a tantrum like only Louis Tomlinson can.

 

“Are you fucking _serious_ right now?” Louis had screamed as he jumped up from the long table in the conference room, slamming his hands down and sending papers flying everywhere. “You know what you lot are? Insensitive fucking cunts! That's what you are. Harry's long time partner was killed three months ago, _three months ago,_ and you're whining that his album isn't on schedule, therefore he won't be on tour this year? You know what you can do? Take your fucking deal and shove it up your arses. Harry's obligated to do one more album under this deal but if you look at the fine fucking print, you'll see he can buy out his contract if he so chooses. Well I have a feeling if you stupid _twats_ don't change your position pretty fucking quickly, he'll be exercising that option in his contract and you won't be hearing from him ever again. Now, I'm taking my client home and while you're rethinking your position I suggest you take a look at how much money Harry has made you in the past five years and then crunch the numbers and see how much money you stand to lose if he's not kept happy in the future. Do I make myself clear gentleman? Good. Now fuck off. Come on Harry.”

 

Louis had grabbed Harry by the wrist and dragged him out of that conference room, immediately taking him home where he curled up in his bed and cried after telling Louis as gently as possible that he just needed to be alone.

 

Hours later, after he felt he couldn't cry anymore, he found himself logging into the chat room and finally joining in the conversation with a simple 'hello'.

 

The responses came immediately.

 

**BrendaG: Hi, love**

 

**Katy112: Welcome, Curly0201. Happy to have you.**

 

**Footieforlife16: Hey dude...or dudette lol**

 

**Irishlad91: Christ Evan, dudette? You're going to scare Curly0201 away before he even gets started. Ignore him, Curly, and it's good to see you here again.**

 

Harry was overwhelmed as the responses kept coming. Everyone seemed so friendly and like they really just wanted to help him. He recognized some of the usernames from all the times he's been reading the chats and a few of them seem to be really close and it's nice to see how they support each other. Harry almost wishes he were a part of it. Maybe he can be?

 

**Curly0201: Hi everybody. Thank you. For welcoming me and everything. It's dude btw.**

 

**Footieforlife16: Dude! I guess I have to give up on my dudette now. Happy Niall?**

 

**Curly0201: Niall?**

 

**Irishlad91: That would be me. I'm Niall, he's Evan. Don't feel like you need to tell us your name though. You should do what's comfortable for you.**

 

Yeah, Harry won't be divulging his name. As much as he hates the word famous, he _is_ famous and it's no secret he lost his boyfriend three months ago. If there were any fans in the chat they'd probably put two and two together pretty quickly. His fans are so clever sometimes, it blows his mind.

 

**Curly0201: Thanks. I think I'll stick with Curly for now. I'm not even really sure what I'm doing here. Like, I don't really know what to say.**

 

**BrendaG: It's okay, sweetie. We're all here because we lost someone close to us and we talk about it freely but it wasn't always that way. We all took different amounts of time to open up. We all took different amounts of time to go through the grieving process. You take your time, love, and we'll be here to listen whenever you're ready.**

 

**Footieforlife16: It's true, dude. I came here when I was only sixteen, after my dad passed. Now three years later, I can't live without these old sods.**

 

“ **Irishlad91: Oi, who're you calling old? I'm only seven years older than you, you little brat.**

 

**Katy112: Its alright, Niall. Next time we all get together for drinks, he better bring armour to protect his knob!**

 

Wait, what? They all got together for drinks? They had met each other face to face?

 

**Curly0201: You all live in the same city?**

 

**Irishlad91: Nah, mate, but we're all in England. Katy and I are in London so once a month Brenda and Evan catch the train to meet us. Sometimes others join. They're not here right now but we'll introduce you sometime if you see fit to come back.**

 

**Curly0201: Yeah. I think I will. Come back, I mean. I lost someone...back in February.**

 

Harry closed his eyes, tight, and sucked in deep breaths after he typed that. He was really doing this. He was going to talk to people about Jack. Maybe not right away, but he'd gotten this far and that's a hell of a lot further than he'd been a month ago when he couldn't get out of bed and hadn't showered for days.

 

**BrendaG: Oh, love! That's so fresh. Only three months ago. You're so brave to be here and so strong. I know you don't feel like it but you are. When I lost my husband, I was sure I would die too. I certainly wasn't here talking to people after only three months.**

 

**Irishlad91: She's right Curly. When my husband died I couldn't function. I even pushed my family so far away, treated them so badly, that we're only now finding our way back to each other. Thank God me Mum is a forgiving lady. Me Da and Brother are a bit skittish still. I reckon they're afraid I might throw something at them again.**

 

Something stirs in Harry's chest when he reads Niall's post. He can feel it fluttering around, a slight glimmer of hope that someone really understood what he was feeling. After all, Niall had said he's seven years older than Evan who is nineteen so that puts him in Harry's age range. He also lost his husband, and, okay, Jack wasn't Harry's husband but they'd talked about it, that had been the plan in the future. If someone close to his own age who was also gay or at least Bi and who had also lost his partner, couldn't understand what Harry's feeling then nobody can.

 

**Curly0201: I'm sorry you lost your husband. Both of you.**

 

Harry doesn't know what else to say. Well, that's a lie. He knows exactly what he wants to say. He wants to ask them, Niall especially, so many questions about his loss but he doesn't. He doesn't feel right asking when he's not willing to answer questions back.

 

**Irishlad91:I'm sorry about your loss as well. I know it's still really new for you so I won't push. I'll be around if you ever want to talk, though, okay? I shut down completely after Aiden died. It was pretty bad. I don't know if you're there yet or if you'll ever be there but I know I speak for all of us when I say we'll do everything we can to help you. For me personally, if I can help you from falling as far as I did, then I'd like to. I wouldn't wish that kind of pain on anybody, mate.**

 

As Harry sat there reading Niall's words over and over again he couldn't stop the tears from rapidly falling down his cheeks. He couldn't believe a stranger was being so nice to him. He also couldn't believe he really wanted to confide in him. He wouldn't talk to his own Mum and sister and he's very close with them, yet he's really considering letting a stranger into his confidence?

 

**Curly0201: Thank you. That means a lot. You all seem really great and I will be back but for right now I'm going to head to bed. It's been a really long, hard day for me.**

 

**BrendaG: Of course love. It was so lovely to meet you. We'll be here if you need us.**

 

**Irishlad91: Goodnight Curly. Sleep well.**

 

Both Katy and Evan said their good nights as well, then Harry logged off and slipped right into bed, crying himself to sleep like he did every night since he lost Jack. Only this time there was a very tiny glimmer of hope in his heart that maybe, someday, he'd come out the other side.

 

~~~ 

 

May turned into June and June turned into July and Harry found himself frequently heading into the chat room. He didn't open up much at first, simply watched and enjoyed the banter between these people he thought of as his new friends. He'd contribute sometimes but only with a few words, nothing major, but it was okay. Nobody minded. They didn't push him or get put off by his lack of talking. They just let him be.

 

That's probably why, by the time July came around, Harry decided he was ready to open up a bit more. He felt a bond with everyone he'd met in the chat room but none as strong as the one he felt with Niall. Niall had talked freely to him about his husband Aiden and didn't hold anything back, even knowing he probably wouldn't get anything from Harry in return. He never once asked Harry anything invasive and all in all just made him feel comfortable and safe.

 

That's why he decided to contact Niall through whatsapp. Niall had given him his number weeks ago, telling him to use it anytime if he ever needed to and Harry had written it down, not sure at the time if he'd ever use it. One night in July, Harry decided to use it. He typed it into his whatsapp and took a deep breath before typing out a message to Niall.

 

“ **Hi, Niall. It's Curly.”** Was the simple message Harry left, then he sat there on his couch, a nervous wreck and not just because he was ready to open up a bit. No, he was also nervous because Niall was about to learn his real name. The Harry part at least. Yes, he could have gotten a new whatsapp with a different number and put in a fake name or even the name Curly but he didn't. Niall was becoming his friend and he didn't want to ruin that by using a fake name. He figured it would be okay anyway. They had talked about music a bit and while Niall said he was a big music fan, he never mentioned Harry and certainly didn't seem to visit gossip sites to keep up with the latest celebrity news.

 

“ **Curly?? Seriously?”** Came the reply a few minutes later.

 

“ **Yeah. I wrote your number down when you gave it to me weeks ago. I hope it's okay that I used it?”** Harry asked, uncertainty taking over him.

 

“ **Don't be daft! Of course it's okay. I'm so happy to hear from you. I was hoping someday you'd feel comfortable enough to contact me like this.”**

 

“ **Yeah. Are you busy? I could text you later if you want.”** Harry bit his lip, holding his breath waiting for Niall's answer.

 

“ **Nah. Just kicking me best mates arse at FIFA. He'll thank you to distract me. Are you okay? There must be a reason you've decided to text me instead of talking to me in the chat room.”**

 

“ **I don't know. Having a bad night I guess. Realized I wanted to talk to someone. You specifically because I think you probably get how I'm feeling better than anyone.”**

 

“ **Okay. I'm here. Whatever you want to talk about, I'll listen. You can trust me, Curly.”** Niall texted and just reading those words made Harry feel like he was punched in the gut because even though they're just words on a screen he swears he can feel that he truly can trust Niall.

 

“ **You can call me Harry if you want. That's my name. You can probably see that by now...”**

 

“ **I do, I just wasn't sure if you'd be comfortable with me calling you by your name. Okay, Harry, first I want to know if you're okay?”**

 

“ **Yeah, I'm okay.”** Harry smiled softly down at his phone. It felt nice that a complete stranger cared about him. Obviously his family and friends care about him but they're almost obligated to care in a way. Niall isn't. He's just someone who's been through hell like Harry and wants to help him.

 

“ **Promise?”** Niall asked.

 

“ **Promise.”** Harry grinned **“It's just been a hard day, like I said. I heard a song on the radio. It reminded me of Jack.”**

 

“ **Jack's the person in your life that you lost?”**

 

“ **Yeah. He was my boyfriend. For a long time. I'm sorry I haven't even told you that much until now. Just thinking his name hurt too much. I couldn't bring myself to type it, or talk about him.”**

 

“ **Don't apologize, Harry. After Aiden died, I was holed up in my house like normal, with the telly on as background noise. I must have hit the remote by accident because I didn't realize the music video channel was on. Our wedding song came on and I lost it. Destroyed my living room. Actually I destroyed most of the first floor of my house. That was eight months after he died. So, don't apologize for not telling me it was your boyfriend you lost. The fact it only took you two months to tell me is pretty impressive in my book. Did you destroy your house when you heard the song?”**

 

Harry snorted softly then clapped a hand over his mouth, his eyes widening in shock. That was the closest he'd come to laughing since Jack died and he wasn't expecting it.

 

“ **No. I was in my car when the song came on. I pulled over and screamed for awhile. Then I sobbed for awhile. Nothing was destroyed.”** Harry texted. He left out the part where it was _his_ song on the radio, one he wrote for Jack.

 

“ **Then I'm proud of you, mate. That's loads better than I did. I'm sorry you had to go through that. I'm sorry you lost your boyfriend. I'm so sorry.”**

 

Harry choked back a sob and gripped his phone tight in his hand because yes, he knew Niall meant it, knew he was sorry. He'd gone through the exact same thing as Harry. Aiden even died in a car accident, same as Jack. So they weren't empty words. They definitely meant something and Harry could practically feel how sorry he was right through his phone.

 

“ **Harry? Are you there?”**

 

“ **Sorry. I'm here. I'm just...you really do get it. I know you do. Jack was killed in a car accident and I know your husband was as well. You're also not much older than I am. I'm just overwhelmed a bit. I don't even know how to describe how it feels to know someone completely understands how I'm feeling.”**

 

“ **I do get it. You only lost Jack five months ago. I remember how I felt at five months and I'm not gonna lie, Harry, it fucking hurts to know exactly what you're feeling right now. I wouldn't wish that on anybody.”**

 

“ **You mean the feeling that you can't breathe? That no matter how hard you try you just can never catch your breath? The feeling that you've been knocked down and every time you try to stand up, a giant comes and steps on your chest, pinning you to the ground and making your chest feel like it's cracked open?”**

 

“ **Yeah. Fuck. Exactly that. It does get better ya know?”**

 

“ **Does it?”** Harry is full on crying now but he doesn't try to stop. He doesn't know how he knows but he just knows that he needs to cry right now.

 

“ **It does. I promise it does Harry. It may seem like a bunch of fucking bullshit right now but it's not. I'd never lie to you. It will get better.”**

 

“ **Thank you, Niall. When you say it, somehow I believe it.”**

 

 ~~~

 

 

After that night, things slowly started to progress for Harry. Once he had texted Niall that first time, it seemed to open up the flood gates and soon he found himself texting Niall every few days, then once everyday, then eventually they were texting back and forth several times a day, sometimes spending hours glued to their phones.

 

They talked about everything. Harry kept opening up about Jack and Niall continued to talk about Aiden, letting Harry know that nothing was off limits. It had been three years since he lost Aiden and he was at a place where he could talk about his husband without the pain crippling him.

 

They also talked about everyday things the same as any two people who are friends would. They were both pleasantly surprised to learn they had a lot of similar interests. They both loved to play Golf. They both loved Football, though Niall could actually play, whereas Harry was hopeless in that aspect. They both also loved music. Niall was a big fan of classic rock, listing the Eagles as his favourite. He was also surprisingly a fan of the nineties grunge music, telling Harry he was a huge fan of all those Seattle based bands like Nirvana, The Foo Fighters and Pearl Jam. Harry often found himself sitting back and smiling fondly down at his phone because Harry had actually met some of the members of those bands and when Niall talked about them, he found himself wishing Niall had been there when he met them.

 

By the time October had come around, Harry was not only talking to Niall but the rest of the people he had become friends with in the chat as well. They had a group chat on whatsapp and were more than happy to invite Harry to join in. He loved opening up the group chat and seeing what everyone was talking about. He'd often wake up in the morning and find hilarious conversations happening between other members of the chat. His favourite is probably when Brenda, who he discovered is in her late forties, would scold nineteen year old Evan and Evan would make it very clear from his typing that he was indeed whining about it. The banter between Niall and Evan was also hilarious with Niall coming off as an older brother figure to Evan. It was so great to read everything and slowly, without even realizing it, Harry had begun to come back to the land of the living.

 

It was Louis who had brought it to Harry's attention. He had stopped over at Harry's house on a Sunday afternoon and right away noticed the change in Harry's facial expressions. He wasn't walking around with a big smile on his face and dancing a jig in the middle of his living room, but his face had become softer, the bags under his eyes were nearly gone, and his eyes had light in them again.

 

Later on in the day, when Louis was happily sitting next to Harry on the couch and playing FIFA, Harry's phone beeped and when he looked at the text and let out a loud laugh, it stunned Louis to the point where he dropped his controller onto the floor, narrowly missing his foot.

 

In that moment, Louis had started crying, causing Harry to look up and stare at him in horror.

 

“Lou? What's wrong? Are you hurt? Are you ill?” Harry had asked, a look of slight panic in his eyes. Louis very rarely cried, in fact when it came to emotions Louis was very reserved so for him to just suddenly start crying was a huge shock to Harry.

 

“Harry,” Louis began, his voice broken from crying “It's just-you laughed. You laughed and it's the most beautiful sound I've ever heard.”

 

Harry stared at Louis with narrowed eyes, searching his friends eyes for any sign of intoxication “Louis? Were you smoking pot before you came over here?”

 

“Oh fuck off,” Louis smacked Harry across the leg, a lot harder than necessary in Harry's opinion “Harry...last February I lost you. Not only me but your other friends and your family too. We lost you and to be perfectly honest, I didn't know when or if we'd ever get you back. So, to hear you laugh, even just a little bit, it means the world to me really.”

 

“Oh,” Harry spoke softly. His eyes slowly filled up with tears and his body went cold “I-Louis...”

 

“No,” Louis grasped onto Harry's cold hand and shook his head “It's okay. It's-you had every right to shut down. You don't owe me or anyone else anything. At the end of the day, we all just wanted you to be okay and it killed us that we couldn't do anything to help you. Now here you are, looking a bit more like yourself and this is the first time I've heard you laugh since-since-”

 

“Since Jack died. You can say it, Louis. It's okay.” Harry whispered, squeezing Louis' hand gently.

 

“The fact that you can say it, shows you're coming out of it a little. I know everything isn't how it was. I know how much you loved Jack. A part of you will probably grieve for him always but...you're coming back to us and I'm just so happy.” Louis smiled through his tears then cleared his throat before taking his hand from Harry's and wiping at his eyes “Anyway, I've just used up my sappy quota for the next two years so...”

 

After that day with Louis, Harry began to pay more attention and he realized Louis was right, he was feeling a bit more like himself. He was smiling more, spending less time holed up in his house, and he was writing again. He had a full journal of lyrics and enough songs to make three albums, let alone just one.

 

So he made the phone call to Louis, told him to get the ball rolling, and two weeks later, Harry was in LA meeting with producers and songwriters, finally getting started on his fourth album.

 

Unfortunately Harry forgot that he hadn't done anything with his house in LA. The last time he had been there was in January and that was with Jack. So when he walked into his house after a twelve hour plane ride, the first thing he saw was Jack's sweater that was still laying over one of the kitchen chairs where he left it back in January. It hit Harry hard and before he knew it, he was stumbling around his house, finding Jack's things everywhere

 

In his head, he knew he was only torturing himself by moving around from room to room and finding more of Jack's things. Everything was just how they left it when they departed back to London, almost as if they never left, simply went out for dinner, to return in a couple of hours. He knew he should stop, should leave and call his PA so she can arrange for someone to come pack everything away but his feet kept moving him around the house and the more he went, the closer he came to crying until he was standing in their bedroom, his body visibly shaking from the effort to hold back the tears.

 

“God,” He breathed out as he tried to suck air into his lungs. The pain of seeing Jack's things still here like he was coming home at any minute, left him struggling to breathe and he was seriously becoming terrified he'd stop breathing and keel over onto the floor.

 

He had no idea how he thought of it, or why, but he found himself grabbing his phone from his back pocket and sliding his finger over the screen until he found Niall's name in his contacts. He still only talked to him on whatsapp but he saved his number in his phone as well, never knowing when he might get up the courage to use it. Apparently it was right now.

 

He sunk down onto the bed as he listened to the phone ring and ring and ring. He didn't think Niall was going to answer and was getting ready to hang up when the line clicked on the other end and his ear was met with the sound of loud music in the background. He listened, puzzled for a moment, as he heard voices talking loudly, with one very loud, boisterous Irish accent at the forefront.

 

“Oi! Sean get the fuck off me, mate. I'm tryin' t'answer me damn phone ya bloody wanker.” The man with the Irish accent shouted, clearly trying to sound serious but failed miserably when he burst into a bout of infectious laughter.

 

Harry pulled the phone away from his ear and frowned down at it. He saw the time at the top and when he did a quick calculation, he realized it was eleven at night in London and Niall clearly was at a party of some sort. He shouldn't have called him. Niall was so good to him, texting him all the time, helping him through bad days, distracting him when the pain of his loss was too much to bear. He dealt with enough in the run of a day, he didn't need to listen to Harry cry into the phone on a Friday night.

 

Harry finally made the decision to hang up when it got quieter on the other end of the phone and the same man with the Irish accent finally spoke into the phone “'lo? Sorry for that. Bloody mate of mine is completely pissed and decided he wanted me to carry 'im home on me back. Bloody fucking likely!” The man scoffed.

 

Harry was quiet, sitting there completely still as he listened to the voice on the other end. It was- it was amazing. Not only because Harry's always loved the Irish accent but because the voice was happy. You could hear the amusement when he spoke but also the voice was warm, inviting and the laugh...it was the kind of laugh that could fill you up with joy and make you sit around laughing without even knowing what you were laughing at.

 

“ _Hel-_ lo?” The voice sounded again “Christ, is that you Willie? Are ya pranking me again? Gunna start your obscene, heavy breathing again? It didn't work last time mate, and it ain't gunna work now either.”

 

Harry shook his head and cleared his throat. He needed to speak up before Niall hung up and he never got the courage to call him ever again.

 

“Niall?” He managed to say, before his throat clogged up and he had to clear it again.

 

There was a long pause on the other end, as if Niall was wracking his brain and trying to recognize the voice in his ear. When he didn't, he spoke up again, his voice a little bit tentative.

 

“Yeah. It's Niall. Who's this then?” He asked, getting right to the point.

 

Harry took a deep breath to steady his voice before speaking “It's Harry.”

 

There was silence on the other end again and it went on for so long that Harry was beginning to think Niall had hung up. That was until he heard a curse come through the phone, followed by some endearing rambling.

 

“Shit. I mean, fuck. I mean shit. Harry? Really? Shit, just let me...fuck, let me just get somewhere more quiet before Sean tries to climb on me back again, okay? Yeah, okay, shit, don't hang up Harry. I'll-yeah just...hang on.” Niall rambled on then Harry can hear him breathing into the phone and doors opening and closing until the sound of music has completely faded and it's quiet on the other end except for Niall's breathing “Harry? Still there?”

 

“Yeah. Still here.” Harry says softly.

 

“Good, good. Sorry about that. I was literally trying to answer me phone with a hundred and eighty pounds of dead weight on me back.” Niall laughs loudly, then stops abruptly “Are you okay?”

 

Harry sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger because no, he's not okay, hence the reason he found himself calling Niall in the first place. “No, not really.”

 

“I figured,” Niall spoke gently, all the amusement gone from his voice, replaced by caring and kindness “I don't think you'd call me for the first time at eleven at night if there wasn't something wrong.”

 

“Sorry about that. It sounded like you were busy. I don't want to keep you from whatever you were doing.” Harry said, politely giving Niall an out if he wanted to take it. He didn't.

 

“I'm at a party at me mates house. It's not important. It's not even _for_ anything. He just likes parties. There'll be a million more parties in the future. I'd rather talk to you. Can't sleep? Or...?”

 

“I'm in LA actually. It's the middle of the day here.” Harry says, sheepishly “I forgot the time difference when I called.”

 

“Oh. That's alright mate. I don't care what time it is. Ever. If you need me you should call me, no matter what time of the day it is. I mean that. I'm not just tryin' to be nice. What are ya doin' all the way over in LA?” Niall asked, curiously.

 

Harry gulped nervously. He still hadn't told anyone who he was. He hated lying so he said he worked in the music industry but didn't clarify what exactly he did “Work. I came for work.”

 

“Work? That's great Harry! Getting back to work, even if it's just a little bit, is a big step. Has it been overwhelming being back? Is that what's wrong?” Niall asked.

 

“No. It wasn't overwhelming at all. It was good. I've been feeling a bit more like myself lately but then-then I got here to LA and everything just went to shit.” Harry said, his voice shaking slightly.

 

“What happened? Do you want to talk about it?” Niall asked gently “Or we could talk about something else, get your mind off it a bit?”

 

“I forgot,” Harry began slowly “I forgot about our house in LA. Or, well it's my house but really what's mine was Jack's too as far as I was concerned and when I got here...when I walked in...”

 

“His things were still there? Where he left them last?” Niall's voice is so quiet it's almost a whisper.

 

“Yeah,” Harry's voice broke and the tears he was holding back finally started to fall “Niall....It's like he just went out for a run or something and he'll be back any minute. I couldn't breathe. The pain was so intense and I-I-I couldn't catch my breath. I thought for a minute I might pass out and collapse on the floor.”

 

“I know,” Niall's voice had become a little deeper, thicker, as if he was holding back tears of his own “I know. Can you get out of there for now? Maybe stay at a hotel for tonight, get your head on straight, then if you want to go back and deal with things on your own, at least you'll be prepared this time. You'll know what you're walking into. If you don't think you can do it on your own, maybe you have friends there who can take care of it for you? Pack his things up for you and store them somewhere until you're ready to look at them again. Similar to what you did back here at home.”

 

Harry swallowed a few times and sniffed into the phone. If Niall hadn't heard him crying before, he certainly did now “I just- I was doing okay. I wasn't completely back to normal, the pain is still there and everything, I was just handling it better? Slowly starting to get my life back on track? And now this happens and I kind of want to be defiant and stay here, face it right now. Gather his things and put them away on my own. I don't want to run away to a hotel and feel like all the progress I made has been undone.”

 

“But it won't be undone, Harry. You'll be taking a night to sort yourself out. Take some deep breaths, think about what needs to be done, then you can head back to your house with a plan. You'll head back knowing what you're walking into this time. It's just a thought, you don't have to leave if you don't want to.” Niall said, kindly.

 

“I don't know,” Harry pushed a hand through his long hair, tugging on it in frustration “I feel angry sort of. I was finally getting a bit of relief from all the pain and now this is-it's such a set back.”

 

“It is,” Niall agreed “It's only a little setback though. You'll have many more of those in the coming months. I went through it. You'll be feeling like you're completely yourself again and then you'll see a show on the telly that he loved to watch or hear a song on the radio, see someone eating his favourite dish when you're in a restaurant. I had so many setbacks. I couldn't even talk to my mother in law. She wanted to be there for me so we could grieve together but I only saw Aiden when I looked at her and I couldn't do it. She's a kind woman and she understood. Doesn't mean it didn't hurt though. It took me over a year to contact her again, then we took it slow, and now we're back to having a friendship again. We talk about him sometimes, remember good times with him, and some of the bad. Anyway the point I'm trying to make is, you'll have setbacks but you'll become stronger after each one and eventually they'll be easier to handle. You _will_ come out the other end of this, Harry. I swear you will.”

 

“I don't think I'm strong enough to handle anymore setbacks. This one nearly killed me.” Harry cried into the phone.

 

“You are.” Niall said, emphatically “You are strong enough and for times when you need a little help, you've got your friends and family. You seem to have a good support system. You also have me. You have your friends you met in that chat room. If you need us for anything we're always just a phone call away.”

 

Harry nodded his head even though Niall couldn't see him and used his free hand to wipe his eyes “Okay. One step at a time, yeah? You've said that to me before.”

 

“I have,” Niall said “Also one set back at a time. One day at a time. Check yourself into a hotel for the night or stay with a friend then tomorrow you can handle things with a fresh perspective.”

 

“Yeah. Okay. I think I will go to a hotel.” Harry agreed. He's really not up to seeing any of his LA friends right now so a hotel would be better.

 

“Want me to stay on the line with you until you get there?” Niall asked.

 

“Niall, I can't ask you to do that. It's pushing midnight in London. It's only four here. You can't stay awake all night just to keep me company on the phone.” Harry tsked at him.

 

“Why can't I? Tomorrow is Saturday. I don't have work. I can sleep all day if I want. I can head home and when you get to the hotel you can call me back. It'll be fine.” Niall tells him “And before you say no again, I'm only going to worry about how you're doing so if that's going to keep me awake anyway then you may as well keep me company on the phone.”

 

Harry laughed a bit, a smile appearing on his face “That's blackmail.”

 

“It is not!” Niall gasped “I'm simply letting you know you'll be responsible for me being up all night so you might as well keep me company.”

 

“You're terrible,” Harry found himself giggling a bit “But fine, I'll go get everything set up then I'll call you back.”

 

“Good lad!”Niall cheered “Alright, talk to you soon then, Harry.”

 

“Alright, yeah. Bye Niall.” Harry said before he hung up the phone and headed back downstairs where he left his bag. He sent a text off to his PA asking her to make reservations for a hotel right away so he could simply walk right in and hopefully not be seen by anyone who would recognize him. She texted back immediately, letting him know she'd text him the details shortly.

 

While he waited, he brought his bag into the garage where his Range Rover was parked and threw it in the backseat then checked to make sure he had enough petrol in the tank. When he found he did, he pulled out onto the driveway and waited for the text to come.

 

It didn't take too long and when he knew where he was going he started his drive, not even realizing he had a huge grin on his face the whole time.

 

 ~~~

 

 

It took Harry a little over an hour to call Niall back. There was traffic on the way to the hotel then once he got to his suite he took a hot shower to wash away the smell of plane from his body and hopefully to help relax him some more.

 

Niall picked up on the third ring and Harry couldn't help but smile immediately as his voice sounded over the line “Everything alright then? Found a hotel and that?”

 

“I did, yeah. Thank you for the suggestion. I'm a lot calmer than I was earlier. It was a good idea to get away from the house for a bit.” Harry admitted.

 

“I'm glad I was able to help.” Niall's voice was warm and friendly making it hard for Harry to keep a smile off his face.

 

“What about you? Did you get home alright?” Harry asked his friend.

 

“Yep. Didn't take me car so I hopped on the tube, was just a ten minute run. Been watchin' the telly and eatin' ice cream while I waited to hear from ya.”Niall explained and Harry figured he was still eating it because he could hear the clinking of the spoon hitting the edge of the bowl.

 

“Thank you again for that. You must be tired. You really don't have to stay up for me.” Harry tried again to convince him to go to bed.

 

“Not tired at all, mate. I'm a night owl, me.” Niall paused for a moment then “It's good to hear your voice actually. Quite posh aren't ya? But then you are from the posh end of the country.”

 

Harry barked out a laugh, quickly covering his mouth with his free hand to stifle the loudness of it.

 

“What was that?” Niall broke out into laughter, his Irish accent even thicker as he tried to speak through it “Was that you laughin'?”

 

“Shut up,” Harry whined through his own laughter “It's not funny.”

 

“I beg to differ, Curly,” Niall kept on laughing “It's good though. It's good you're laughin'. I've been worryin' about ya, we all have but you're coming through it.”

 

“Thanks to you.” Harry said honestly, his heart warming with the knowledge that Niall cared enough to worry about him “Don't know what I'd do without you really.”

 

“That's good because you won't be getting rid of us. One day I suspect you'll be ready to come meet us all for a drink and once you do, Brenda won't let go of ya. She'll try to take you home and shovel food into your mouth.” Niall laughed happily.

 

“I'm never opposed to a good home cooked meal.” Harry offered then they were both quiet for a long couple of minutes before Harry spoke up again “I need to say something now I've got you on the phone. I just need you to know how grateful I am to have found all of you. Especially you. You've been strong for me when I couldn't be and I don't care what you say, I know I wouldn't be getting through this without you. It only hit me recently that by helping me and listening to me talk about Jack, it's probably bringing up bad memories for you from when you lost Aiden but you didn't let it stop you. I'll never, ever be able to thank you enough.”

 

Niall is silent on the other end of the line for so long, Harry begins to worry. Maybe he overstepped. Maybe he made Niall feel too uncomfortable with his honesty.

 

“Niall?” Harry asked, timidly “Are you-are you still there?”

 

“Yeah, yeah, shit, sorry, sorry.” Niall rambled, his voice thick with tears “I don't really know what to say. You're welcome sounds stupid.”

 

Harry laughed again, wiping his own tears away with the back of his hand “No need to say anything. I know.”

 

“Yeah,” Niall whispered “Yeah, you do.”

 

 ~~~

 

 

Something started to shift after that day when Harry first called Niall. He couldn't put his finger on it but he knew there was something.

 

They continued to keep talking over the phone as much as Harry could. By November he was heavily into working on his album and with the time difference it was difficult but they managed. Niall was still always there when he needed him and Harry was beginning to hope that he was able to be there for Niall too. Their friendship just kept on getting stronger and if Harry had been paying any attention at all, he would have seen the glint in Louis' eye when he finally opened up and told him everything about the chat room, the friends he met and Niall, especially Niall. Maybe if he'd seen that glint he would have had some warning, would have questioned Louis about what it was about. Would have heard Louis tell him that he thinks he has a thing for Niall.

 

He didn't though. He didn't see it. So when Harry started to realize it for himself it came as a complete shock. It hit him so hard, he disappeared into his bed for a week, not answering the phone to anyone but his Mum and trusting she'd spread the word that he was still alive.

 

It was all completely innocent. He was on the phone with Niall and since it was the middle of December, Niall was telling him all about his adventures putting up his Christmas tree. It involved a clumsy cousin of his, his best mate who's a light weight and got pissed on the eggnog Niall had made by three in the afternoon, and his cousin's dog who decided he wanted to make a home under the tree before they even had it up properly.

 

Harry had never laughed so hard in his life as Niall told the story, then at the end of it when they had both calmed down, Niall swore the tree actually turned out good and offered to send Harry pictures as proof. Harry of course agreed and when he and Niall hung up later, he received four or five pictures through text message.

 

He sat down on his couch, giggling as he opened the pictures because based on the story Niall told, he doubted very much the three men in the story got a Christmas tree to look even a bit presentable.

 

He was wrong of course. The tree looked great but Harry forgot all about it by the second picture. All the pictures had someone in them but it was the blonde in the second one that made Harry stop and have his breath catch in his throat.

 

The blonde was standing by the tree in a pair of dark blue skinny jeans, with a simple grey t-shirt that hugged his body perfectly. He was standing on the tips of his toes as he reached up to put an ornament on the tree, the grey t-shirt riding up and showing the small of his back and the white waistband of his boxers with the Topman logo on them. The person taking the picture must have said something funny because the blonde was looking over his shoulder, straight into the camera and clearly laughing. His cheeks had a red tint to them and his eyes...his eyes were so bright and blue. Harry often thought he hadn't seen a nicer blue than the colour of Louis' eyes but he was wrong. These eyes were amazing, beautiful, gorgeous and so full of mischief and laughter, happiness and light and as Harry stared open mouthed at the picture, it felt as if the guy was staring right at him.

 

Harry felt like someone had just punched him in the gut then poured ice cold water over his head. He was attracted to this man, just from a picture. He'd never been that immediately attracted to a man in person let alone from a picture but there it was, he could feel it in his whole body. He was attracted to this man and the guilt he felt was so overwhelming he thought he'd choke on it.

 

He threw his phone down onto the couch next to him once he was able to tear his eyes away from the beautiful man and stood up pacing with his long fingers stuffed into his long mane of hair. He was freaking out, that much was for certain but what wasn't for certain was who that was in the picture. Was it Niall? Was it his cousin or his friend? Harry had to know, he just had to and as he picked up his phone to text Niall with shaky fingers there was a mantra in his head saying _pleasebeniallpleasebeniallpleasebeniall._

 

It only took Niall a few minutes to text him back.

 

“Oh yeah, sorry about that. We're all stupid lads and someone managed to only take pictures of the tree with one of our ugly mugs in them. Never actually got one of the tree alone. The guy with the brown hair and white shirt is me cousin, the other guy with the brown hair looking completely pissed is me best mate and the blonde lad is yours truly. Except I'm not really blonde. It's fake.”

 

Harry whimpered. He whimpered and gripped his phone in his hand so tight he thought it would break. That beautiful, gorgeous man was Niall. His Niall and...what? His Niall? What the fuck? Since when did Harry think of Niall that way? It wasn't right. He couldn't think of Niall that way. Jack only died ten months ago. He couldn't want another man. He just couldn't.

 

He doesn't even remember what he texted back to Niall. Some nonsense about how great the tree looked and he never should have doubted, blah blah blah. Then he turned his phone on silent, climbed in his bed and that's where he remained for almost a week, until just a few days before Christmas.

 

It was two days before Louis' birthday that Louis had had enough and showed up on Harry's doorstep, letting himself in with a key Harry knew he didn't have so he either drove to Cheshire to get one from his Mum or Harry needs to have a serious conversation with his PA.

 

He expected Louis to come in screaming at him, cursing and demanding explanations but instead he felt his friend climb into bed beside him and spoon him without saying a single word. It undid Harry and he was sobbing immediately while Louis brushed a hand through his hair and whispered repeatedly that it would be alright.

 

“But it won't be, Louis. It'll never be alright again.” Harry choked out through his tears.

 

“What's this about, love? Is it Jack? Is it because it's your first Christmas without him?” Louis asked, softly.

 

“I wish it was that.” Harry cried “I wish it was only that.”

 

Louis got a bewildered look on his face because, what could be worse than that. He asked Harry as much and it sent Harry into another fit of sobs where everything he said was incoherent.

 

It took awhile but Harry was finally able to calm down enough to tell Louis it was all about Niall.

 

“It was so stupid, Lou. He was telling me a stupid story about how putting up his Christmas tree with his cousin and best mate turned into a disaster. We were laughing. It was all normal until he asked if I wanted to see a picture and I said yes. He was in one of the pictures Lou. He was right there in front of me in the picture, the most gorgeous man I'd ever seen. How could I betray Jack that way? How could I? How could I, Louis?”

 

Louis was crying himself by the time Harry finished and soon the two friends were wrapped around each other in Harry's bed, sobbing like a pair of five year old kids.

 

“I had a feeling you were starting to have feelings for him,” Louis admitted later on over a cup of tea “I just didn't expect it to hit you this hard when you realized. I'm so sorry, Harry. I should have realized and done something.”

 

“What could you have done?” Harry made a sound of disgust “It wouldn't change anything. The man I loved and planned to marry has only been dead for ten months and I'm already- I'm already lusting after another man. It's despicable and I'm so ashamed.”

 

“Harry no. Stop it. You haven't done anything wrong. You haven't betrayed anybody. Did you really not think this would ever happen? Did you think you were going to live the rest of your life alone? You're only twenty three years old for fuck's sake. Nobody, especially Jack, would expect you to live your life alone. Nobody would want that for you. Jack loved you Harry. Do you really think he'd want you to spend your life alone?”

 

“Louis,” Harry moaned out, brokenly “I wasn't even that attracted to Jack the first time I met him. Yeah, I thought he was fit, but it wasn't until we started dating that that fire inside me started burning. I haven't even met Niall in person, yet the moment I saw him in that picture I wanted him. I wanted him and I didn't even know if that was Niall or his friend or cousin. I've never felt that immediate attraction for someone before.”

 

“I think it's more than that, Harry. I think you liked Niall and were attracted to him before you saw his picture. The look in your eyes when you'd talk about him said it all. Maybe I should have said something to you, brought it up so you weren't blindsided when you realized it yourself. I'm sorry.” Louis reached across the table and squeezed his hand.

 

“But I can't” Harry whispered “I can't like him. He's my friend. He's helped me through the worst time in my life. I can't like him. I can't.”

 

“Why not?” Louis asked, gently.

 

“Why not? Have you got all day? I can't like him because if I do, then what does that say about my love for Jack? That I can feel for someone else in just ten months? I can't like him because he's my friend. He's become one of my best friends. He helped me in a way no one else ever could because they didn't lose someone the way we did. Liking him would ruin that friendship, especially if he didn't like me back. I'd lose him and he's too important to me to lose. I can't like him because, even if I disregarded everything I just told you, it still wouldn't be right because what right do I have to get into a relationship right now when I'm such a mess? He's so amazing, Louis, and he deserves a hell of a lot more than me.” Harry reasoned.

 

“Harry, love, do you remember that song from a couple of years back that had the lyrics 'if you talk enough sense then you'll lose your mind'? Well that's what you're doing. You're overthinking and trying to make everything _make sense_ and sometimes it just _doesn't._ I'm not telling you to stop grieving. I'm not telling you to forget Jack, and I'm not telling you to get involved with someone right now. I'm telling you to be open to it. Be open to love again and when it happens, don't fight it. Embrace it and leave all your guilt behind because you won't have anything to feel guilty about. You deserve to be happy and I can tell you with one hundred percent certainty that Jack would want that for you.” Louis pleaded with Harry.

 

“I don't know. I can't think about this anymore today. It's Christmas in three days and my Mum and sister will be here to stay for a few days so I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and clean up this place. It's a good thing I decorated the house before I holed up in bed for a week or nothing would be done right now.” Harry stands up and places his tea cup in the sink then pushes his chair in and heads for the stairs to get a shower and change his clothes. Louis understands the topic is closed for now and gets up himself to start tidying while his friend is in the shower.

 

Later that night when Louis is fast asleep in one of Harry's guest rooms, he looks at his phone, ignoring all the notifications and heading straight for Niall's contact. Thankfully he managed to tell Niall some lie about being out of contact for a few days and he'd text him when he got back so at least Niall hasn't had to wonder where's he's been all week or if he's okay.

 

His finger hovers over the call button for what feels like ages when he puts his phone down and inexplicably decides that calling him is not enough. Now that he's seen Niall, he needs to see him again. His brain keeps telling him it's not a good idea but his heart isn't listening. His heart wants to see Niall again, regardless of the immense guilt he's feeling about it and is sure to feel more of after he sees him, and before he knows it he's sending a text with one simple word,Skype?

 

The reply comes fifteen minutes later and it's simply Niall's Skype name, nothing else. He's giving Harry the go ahead to call him, so Harry begins to set up his laptop for it when he stops dead, remembering Niall doesn't know who he is. Doesn't know he's Harry Styles, pop singer.

 

He starts to panic, he really does, but then he just...stops. Stops panicking because does it matter? They've been friends for almost a year now. Niall's not going to run off and sell a story to a tabloid about him. He can trust Niall. Of that he's one hundred percent sure.

 

So he loads up his laptop, goes into Skype, adds Niall and sends the call through. Then all he can do is sit and wait for Niall to accept and hope he isn't shaking like a leaf.

 

When the call connects and Niall's face fills Harry's screen, Harry's pretty sure his breath hitches. If he thought Niall was gorgeous in a picture, he was wrong. So very, very wrong. He's more than gorgeous. He's magnificent. His blonde hair isn't pushed back in a quiff like it was in the picture, it's laying flat on his head but pushed to the side a little and looks so, incredibly soft. His cheeks and chin are lightly covered in stubble, probably just a day's worth, his jaw is strong and angular, the dimple in his chin making Harry want to bite it, his lips are just the right amount of plump and pink and his eyes... _fuck his eyes_ , they're even more blue on screen, the bluest Harry has ever seen.

 

Harry's so busy drooling over Niall, it takes him a minute to realize he is staring at Harry with wide eyes and his lips slightly parted, a look of wonder on his face. Harry clears his throat, getting ready to explain himself when Niall starts laughing.

 

“Oh my God,” He splutters out through his laughter, his face coming impossibly close to the screen as he bends over where he's sitting and laughs that loud, booming laugh Harry loves so much.

 

“Um...what's so funny?” Harry asks uncertainly. He feels his face starting to heat up a little and wonders if he has something on his face.

 

“Sorry, sorry,” Niall gasped out as he tried to regain his composure. “It's just that- it's just that I was literally cursing you out in my car last week and I didn't even know you were Harry! My Harry I mean.”

 

“What?” Harry is thoroughly confused yet he can't deny the warm feeling in his chest at hearing Niall call him his Harry.

 

“I was driving to work and one of your old songs came on, I think from when you first started maybe? Anyway by the time the song finished I knew it was going to be stuck in me head for the rest of the day and I _hate_ getting songs stuck in me head, no matter how good the song is.” Niall giggled a little as he rubbed a thumb under his eyes to wipe the tears from laughing so hard.

 

“Oh,” Harry grins slightly “Sorry?”

 

Niall barks out another laugh and shakes his head at him “No, I'm the one who should be sorry. It was quite ridiculous really. You should have heard me 'Bloody Harry Styles, why the fuck does he have to release such catchy tunes anyway. It's too fucking early in the morning for this' I was acting like a child really. Now it turns out I've known you this whole time and didn't realize it.”

 

“Would you have reacted any differently if you _had_ known you knew me?” Harry smirks at the screen.

 

“Probably not,” Niall shrugs his shoulder “I curse all my friends regularly. You won't be any different.”

 

Harry smiled widely, showing off his dimples “Good. I'm glad to hear that.” Then he paused for a minute and looked down at his fingers shyly “You're not mad?”

 

“Mad?” A confused expression spreads across Niall's face “For what?”

 

“I mean,” Harry pushes his long hair back nervously “I didn't tell you who I was. Like, obviously I wasn't going to announce it in a chat room. Everyone's a stranger but it's been seven months since I met you and I should have told you. I know I can trust you. I've known that all along I think.”

 

“Hmm,” Niall hums, his fingers coming up to brush his hair out of his eyes “It's hard to trust people you meet online, Harry. It's ten times worse for you because you have no way of knowing if one of us would take everything you told us and sell it to a tabloid. You needed to be careful. I'm _glad_ you were careful.”

 

“So you're not mad that I lied?” Harry bites down on his lip, his eyes big as he stares at Niall through the screen.

 

“I don't think you lied. Did you? I mean, everything you've told me about yourself and your life has been true right?” Harry nods his head vigorously “Then I have no reason to be mad. You didn't even lie about your job, technically. You _are_ in the music business.”

 

Harry snorts out a laugh then covers his mouth, sheepishly as he realizes how loud that was. Niall's only grinning at him though, his eyes practically twinkling on the screen and Harry just- he just feels so _happy_ in this moment “I'm just lucky you never asked my last name. I hate lying, especially to a good friend. I wouldn't have known what to do.”

 

“Huh,” Niall huffs, thoughtfully “I don't think I ever even thought to ask.”

 

“Got lucky there, I guess.” Harry shrugged.

 

Niall nodded “So what made you decide you wanted to Skype?”

 

Shit. Harry can't very well tell him it's because he's gorgeous and he was so drawn to him from one picture he just had to see him again. Harry didn't think even _he_ would be flattered by that. He'd probably find it weird and creepy. Stalkerish even.

 

“Well,” Harry cleared his throat and hoped Niall didn't notice his discomfort “I just knew I could trust you and it would be silly to avoid talking this way or even meeting in person. I know without a doubt you're not going to run to the press about me, so...”

 

Niall smiled softly at him, the dimple in his chin dimpling just a bit and making Harry swoon a bit on the inside “You're right ya know. You can trust me with anything. The tabloids or paps or whatever it is you deal with can try their best but all they'll get is me laughing in their faces.”

 

Harry laughed loudly because he knows it's true, Niall would literally laugh in their faces “I know you would. I kind of want to see that happen now.”

 

Niall shrugged his shoulders and reached for a mug of something that's off screen, probably on his bedside table since it looked like Niall was sitting on a bed. “Maybe you will see it someday.” He stopped talking for a moment, looking at Harry like he's studying him somehow “Can I ask you somethin'?”

 

Harry swallowed nervously but still nodded, letting Niall know he could.

 

“This past week, you had a bit of a rough one didn't ya?” Niall asked softly, his whole face was etched with concern, the amusement from a couple minutes ago faded “I know you texted saying you'd be unavailable because of work but I didn't really buy that. I let you be though. Knew you'd talk to me if you could so I figured you had something you needed to sort out on your own.”

 

Harry dipped his head a little so Niall couldn't really see his face. This was their first time sort of meeting and Harry didn't want Niall to sees his eyes fill up with tears “Yeah, I did have some things I wanted to think about on my own. Plus it's the holidays, you know, and it's my first one without...Jack”

 

It wasn't a lie really. It was his first Christmas without Jack and it was very, very hard. It just wasn't the whole truth because Harry couldn't very well tell Niall the crisis he had because of these feelings he's seemed to have developed for him.

 

“Will you be with your family? Your Mum and sister right? And you said you have a stepdad.” Niall asks, the concern very evident in his voice.

 

“Yes,” Harry nodded quickly “They'll be here Christmas Eve. They'll get here in the afternoon after I've cooked Louis his full English before sending him on his way to Doncaster for Christmas. It's his birthday and he insists it be my present to him every year. He'll probably never learn to cook, just insist I cook for him for the rest of our lives.”

 

“If you could ship some of that breakfast over to Ireland I'd much appreciate it.” Niall jokes

 

“When are you leaving to go home for Christmas?” Harry asks, curiously.

 

“Tomorrow. Got an afternoon flight. I'm stayin' until the twenty-eighth then I'll be back in London.”

 

“We should meet.” Harry blurts out before he realizes what he's saying “I mean, if you want to?”

 

“Sure,” Niall says easily “When were you thinking?”

 

Harry wasn't thinking. Not at all. How the hell is he going to deal with having Niall standing right in front of him “When you get back? Before New Year's Eve?”

 

“Sounds great. Just let me know when and where.”

 

“Would you be okay coming to my house?” Harry's hands are sweating, he's so nervous “Just because, well, I'm just not really in the mood to have fifty paps pushing each other around, trying to take pictures of us if we meet out in public somewhere.”

 

Niall lets out a low whistle, an incredulous look coming over his face “How have you not been arrested yet?”

 

“What?” Harry laughs “Have you seen something made up about me in a tabloid? I haven't done anything?”

 

Niall throws his head back, cackling, and Harry's eyes freeze on the pale skin of his neck. There's a couple of freckles there but otherwise it looks like all pale, smooth skin. Skin that Harry could very easily suck marks into.

 

“No,” Niall's face comes back into view, his cheeks a bit rosy from laughing “I just mean, if I had to deal with that many paps everyday for the past however many years, I would have punched one of them by now. Or at the very least grabbed one of their cameras and smashed it.”

 

“I have my moments,” Harry laughed “But so far I've managed not to injure any of them. I'd like to, but I don't. If I pulled a Kanye your dad would hear Louis shrieking at me all the way over in Ireland.”

 

“Yes!” Niall slapped his hand down on the bed beside him and started laughing again “Oh my God! I forgot he did that a few years back. What about me? If I'm ever in your vicinity when there's a big crowd of paps, would Louis shriek at me if I pulled a Kanye?”

“Oh God,” Harry's eyes grow wide “I think he'd probably pass out, then when he wakes up probably ban you from ever going anywhere with me again.”

 

“Oh well, I guess I'd better behave then right? Because if we're going to start meeting in person, we have to hit the green come Spring so I can kick your arse.” Niall beams into the camera.

 

Harry gasped and put a hand over his heart, faking being wounded “How _dare_ you? You will not kick my arse! Nobody beats me at golf. I am King!”

 

Niall snorted and wagged a finger in front of the camera “We'll see, we'll see. Oh and don't think you're going to distract me by wearing those ridiculous, flamboyant golfing clothes I've seen you in. All that colour is not going to ruin my focus. It may blind me temporarily but I'll wear sunglasses, it'll be fine.”

 

Harry gasped again and was about to reply but ended up breaking out into loud laughter instead. He was laughing so hard he had to push the laptop back a bit on the desk and lay his head on his arm as his whole body shook. He could hear Niall laughing just as hard on the computer and every time he thought he was finally going to get control of himself, he'd lift his eyes a bit to look at the screen, see Niall shaking with laughter and end up starting all over again.

 

“Have you gone bloody _mental?_ ” Louis' voice rang through the room as he pushed Harry's bedroom door open and walked in in nothing but his pants. “What are you laughing at? You sound like a hyena, Harold.”

 

Of course Louis' expression and what he said only made Harry and Niall both laugh even harder. At one point Niall was laughing so hard he was silent. His mouth was open, his teeth were showing but there was no sound, just silent laughter until he gasped in a breath when his brain inevitably told his body it needed to breathe.

 

“What the fuck?” Louis stepped closer and bent down to look at the laptop “Is that Niall?”

 

Harry still couldn't talk but Niall managed to nod his head so Louis stepped back again with his hands on his hips while he waited for the pair of them to calm down.

 

It took five minutes but Harry finally calmed down enough to talk and Louis handed him some tissues to wipe the tears off his face “Oh my God. That was good.”

 

“What was good?” Louis was sounding exasperated now.

 

“Sorry mate. I was just telling him if we play golf his flamboyant outfits weren't going to throw me off my game. I will kick his arse regardless.” Niall spoke up while wiping his own face with the back of his sleeve.

 

A slow smile spread across Louis' face as he shoved Harry over a bit so they could share the chair “Mate, could this really be happening? Could I really have found someone to help me tease Harry about his ridiculous choice in clothing?”

 

“Probably,” Niall smiled widely “If I don't like it, I'm probably going to say so. Plus I've seen him on the magazines in Tesco, I know some of the things he's worn. So yeah, I think it's safe to say you have a partner in crime for this.”

 

“ _Excuse me,_ but some of those clothes have to be worn, _by me,_ because my _manager_ sorted out a contract between me and a certain fashion house.” Harry gives Louis a withering glare.

 

“Oh please, Harold. That contract was in the beginning of your career to help get you out there, get you known. It was _you_ who begged me to renew the contract because you were in love with all the free clothes they were sending you.” Louis rolled his eyes.

 

“This is brilliant” Niall chirps from his end of the screen and both Harry and Louis turn to see him happily munching away on a bag of crisps.

 

“Oi! I thought you were on my side about this?” Louis glared at Niall and Niall simply grinned at him and continued shoving crisps in his mouth.

 

“Anyway,” Harry laughed “Sorry for waking you up, Lou.”

 

Louis' gaze turned away from Niall and back to Harry, a fond expression on his face “It's alright. After everything that's happened this year I'd gladly wake up to you laughing like a hyena for the rest of my life.”

 

Harry swallowed thickly and blinked his eyes a few times to keep the tears at bay “I know. I know you would, Lou.”

 

“Me too,” Niall's voice came softly through the speakers. He had put the bag of crisps down and was staring into the camera with watery eyes of his own.

 

Harry smiled at him shyly then bent his head for a moment to gather himself. He cleared his throat and lifted his head again, looking back and forth between Niall and Louis “Alright. That's quite enough now, before I start crying.”

 

Louis spent a few more minutes there, Harry properly introduced him to Niall, then he disappeared back to bed, bidding them both a goodnight.

 

Harry and Niall didn't talk for much longer themselves. They were both tired and needed to get to bed. When they finally hung up, though, and Niall disappeared from the screen, Harry put his head in his hands and let out a deep sigh. He had feelings for Niall. He couldn't deny it and it was killing him because he loved Jack. He didn't stop loving him just because he died yet he had this crazy connection with Niall that was messing with his head. He was actually beginning to wonder if Jack were alive, and he met Niall some other way, would he still feel the same way? Would he be drawn to him? Would he be attracted to him? Would he go so far as to cheat on Jack?

 

“Oh God,”Harry whispered to himself. He was so screwed. Torn between these feelings for Niall and the intense guilt he felt every time he thought about him as more than a friend.

 

Backing away from Niall would be the best thing to do. Gradually stop talking to him until he became a mere acquaintance he talked to a few times a year. He knew he wouldn't do that though. He couldn't and it scared him. More than anything else ever had in his life. Discovering he was gay when he was sixteen didn't even scare him this much.

 

With another deep sigh, Harry pushed himself up from his chair on shaky legs and made his way to his bathroom to brush his teeth. Right now, all he had to think about was getting some sleep. Every thing else could wait until morning.

 

 ~~~

 

 

Christmas was surprisingly okay for Harry. He was sad, yes, and he wasn't as excited to participate in his families traditions as he usually was, but he wasn't totally depressed like he had been when Jack first died. He genuinely enjoyed having his Mum, Stepdad and sister stay for a few days.

 

His chats with Niall were sporadic. They only talked once on the phone, very briefly on Christmas Day to wish each other Happy Christmas but the few texts he got from Niall during the few days he was in Ireland were, sweet, thoughtful, and caring. He knew Niall was subtly letting him know he would make himself available any time Harry needed him and not only did that mean the world to Harry, it only intensified the feelings he was starting to have for Niall.

 

When the twenty-ninth finally came and Harry was waiting for Niall to show up at his flat, he couldn't help but shake a bit from nerves. He was so conflicted about everything, it often had his stomach tied in knots and he sometimes found himself breaking out into a cold sweat when he let his feelings completely take over his head.

 

He liked Niall. Very much so. He had a connection with him that he'd never felt with anyone before and that alone sent wracks of guilt through his body. He was with Jack for five years, since he was eighteen and Harry had never had a connection this deep with him. It made him feel like he was betraying Jack and no matter how many times Louis told him he wasn't, he couldn't quite shake the feeling.

 

It was a constant battle for him. His heart wanted so badly to just give in to his feelings for Niall and find out if Niall felt the same way but his head kept telling him he was betraying Jack and he was disgusting and disloyal to a man who loved him through thick and thin for five years. It was making him sick, this constant battle, yet Harry still couldn't seem to help himself. He had made plans with Niall and Niall was going to be at his house any moment now.

 

Harry quickly ran upstairs for one more look in the mirror, making sure his hair looked alright and his face didn't look as terrified as he felt on the inside. He was just smoothing his hands down the front of the green button down shirt he was wearing when the doorbell rang indicating Niall had arrived. He ran down the stairs and to the front door, taking a deep breath before he opened up.

 

“Hi, H,” Niall smiled softly at him, the damn dimple in his chin deepening like it always does, threatening to send Harry into a right state. “It's really good to finally meet you.”

 

“Hi,” Harry somehow managed to smile back as he waved Niall inside the house and shut the door As soon as he did, he turned around to look at Niall again, only to be pulled into strong arms and wrapped up in a hug.

 

“Hey,” Niall whispered near his ear “Alright?”

 

Harry closed his eyes and relished the feel of Niall's body pressed against his. He was only a little shorter than Harry so they fit together perfectly, both men having one arm around the others neck and one around the others waist.

 

“Hi,” Harry said again, this time squeezing Niall a little in their hug “It's so good to meet you.”

 

Niall hugged him a bit tighter then drew back a little, his arm still wrapped around Harry's waist, to look into his eyes “You look good. Christmas wasn't too bad then?”

 

Harry swallowed and tried not to panic because Niall's face was _right there_ and Harry only had to move his head forward a short distance to pull Niall into a kiss. “No. It was okay. Not the best Christmas I've ever had but it was better than I thought it would be.”

 

Niall smiled warmly at him then rubbed his hand up and down over Harry's back a few times before giving his waist one last squeeze and stepping back completely “Good. I remember my first Christmas without Aiden. It was terrible, especially since I had alienated my family. I'm really happy you had yours.”

 

Harry nodded his head then motioned for Niall to take off his coat and leave his boots by the door. Once he did, Harry told him to follow him into the kitchen for a drink. Once there, Harry grabbed them both a beer from the fridge then Harry led the way into his spacious, yet still somehow cozy living room. Harry sat himself down on his couch, pulling his legs up to his chest and resting his chin on his knees. Niall sat next to him, his body turned to the side so his back rested against the armrest of the couch and one leg is tucked under him.

 

“I can't believe you're here, really.” Harry blurts out suddenly. He turns his head toward Niall and smiles sheepishly but Niall only laughs before taking a sip of his beer. “I mean-well you know what I mean.”

 

“I do,” Niall studies him with warm, blue eyes “I'm glad we are meeting, though. You've become a good friend, Harry, and I like to keep the good ones close.”

 

“That's another thing we agree on then,” Harry plays with the label on his bottle “It's not easy to trust someone because of my job so the friends I do trust, I keep them close. It's important. It keeps me sane. Keeps me who I am. I would have turned into a pretentious twat like Beiber otherwise.”

 

Niall nearly choked on his beer when Harry said that but managed to swallow before the beer came flying out of his mouth everywhere “What ever happened to Beiber anyway?”

 

“Exactly,” Harry smirked, making Niall hoot with laughter and lean over to tap his bottle against Harry's and giggle out a 'cheers'.”So, Niall, how was your Christmas over in Ireland.”

 

“It was good, yeah.” Niall nodded his head “It's always a huge party. Me Mum lives in England but she comes over for Christmas, so it's me parents, me brother and his family, all me aunts and uncles and cousins and then some family friends. Oh, and me granny, with her dirty mouth. Can't forget her. The more she drinks, the worse it gets. The first Christmas me brother's wife spent with us, she was red as a tomato.”

 

“Oh my God,” Harry cackled “Please tell me there's video of that somewhere?”

 

“Yep,” Niall grins and pulls his phone out of his back pocket “Which year do you want?”

 

Twenty minutes later, Harry had to stop the videos and hand Niall back his phone. He had fallen sideways on the couch with his head buried in a throw pillow as he laughed so hard his stomach hurt. Tears were streaming down his face and his vision had gone blurry as he extended his arm out with Niall's phone in his hand.

 

“Take it. Take it. Please.” Harry pleaded, as another round of laughter came over him “Oh my God. Niall! She should have her own comedy show! I can see her now, sitting on the ugly couch on the chatty man set, giving Alan a run for his money.”

 

Niall took his phone back and laid it down on Harry's coffee table. He was laughing pretty hard himself. Watching his granny in action never got old for him plus Harry's reaction was priceless “I think any show she did with Alan Carr would be banned from the telly. One of them is bad enough, the both of them together? It'd be all cursing and innuendos.”

 

Harry sat up again, holding his stomach “What did Aiden think of your granny? Was he like your sister in law? Embarrassed?”

 

God no,” Niall snorted “The very first time Aiden ever met my granny, she proclaimed it to be unfair that I was apparently stealing all the 'hot studs' from the young women of the world. Then she smacked his arse. I was about to be mortified when Aiden simply sat down on the couch and pulled me granny down in his lap and told her all she had to do was ask and he'd leave me for her.”

 

“Seriously?” Harry squawked “Oh my God. I like Aiden. That's brilliant!”

 

“Yeah,” Niall chuckled softly, though the smile on his face was a little sad “I liked him too.”

 

“Oh fuck,” Harry's eyes went wide and he smacked himself on the forehead “I'm so insensitive. I'm so sorry, Niall. Oh my God. I got so caught up in the story I-oh fuck.”

 

“Harry, relax,” Niall slid his hand across the couch and placed it on top of Harry's “You didn't do anything wrong. It's fine. I don't mind talking about Aiden. I know for certain if you had the chance to meet him you really would have liked him.”

 

“Seems so.” Harry continued to stare at Niall “I'm still sorry. I didn't mean to make you sad today.”

 

“You didn't” Niall smiled genuinely “Now come on, forget about it. We could both use another beer if you have any.”

 

“I do,” Harry smiled back, grateful Niall was okay and not upset with him “Why don't you come with me and we'll head to the game room once we grab a beer?”

 

“Game room?” Niall's eyebrows shot up “Jesus. Talk dirty to me.”

 

“I knew you'd enjoy hearing that.” Harry laughed, gleefully “You're always telling me how you and Sean nearly kill each other playing billiards at the pub”

 

“Do you have billiards?” Niall's eyes seem to grow wider.

 

“I do. I have a whole room that's really just another lounge room but instead of being like the one we were just in, it's more of a lads room. I've got darts as well and I think every gaming system that exists out there. We can play whatever you want.” Harry offered.

 

“Fuck,” Niall whispered “You may have to adopt me Harry. I may never leave that room ever again.”

 

Harry struggles not to choke on his own spit when Niall says that. Adopt him? Nope. No. Just no. He'd much rather have Niall in his bed. Which, _fuck,_ he really can't start thinking like that, not now. He finds he can't help it, though, as he lets Niall walk ahead of him to the other end of the house where the game room is, he gets a _great_ view of his arse. It's perfect, really. Not too big but not too small. He reckons if he were to reach out and cup it with his hands it would fit in his large hands perfectly.

 

“Harry?” Niall's voice interrupts his thoughts and he realizes Niall is looking at him with one raised eyebrow “Is this the right room?”

 

Harry blinks his eyes a few times to snap himself out of it then nods his head and reaches around Niall to open the door. When Niall walks in, his face lights up and he immediately throws his upper body over the billiards table.

 

“Sadly you're not the first person to lay on that table” Harry snorts, sending Niall into a fit of giggles.

 

“Are you about to tell me a story of drunken rock stars getting so pissed they pass out on your table?” Nialls eyes are shining as he teases Harry.

 

“Rock stars, no. Louis, however, has spent a night or ten sleeping on that table. Also, Nick Grimshaw, but not at the same time. In fact, its probably not a good idea to mention Nick in the vicinity of Louis. I'm not really sure how they haven't killed each other over the past five years.” Harry shakes his head.

 

“Definitely gotta meet this Louis.” Niall stands up and Harry can see his eyes wandering around the room taking everything in.

 

“I can invite him over if you like? I know how obsessed with FIFA you are and while I think I'm pretty good, something tells me I'm not at your level. Louis can probably make it very interesting. Just be warned, he _will_ yell at you and call you every bad name he can think of.”

 

“Sure,” Niall shrugs “If you're okay with me meeting your best mate then I'd love to meet him.”

 

So Harry texts Louis who says he'll be over in a couple hours. In the meantime, Harry and Niall start a game of billiards and Harry learns very quickly that this man he seems to be slowly falling for, is a mischievous little bugger which only makes Harry more endeared.

 

Once they started the game and Harry was winning, Niall started doing things to distract Harry from his shots. He tried to look innocent while he was doing it but Harry could hear him trying to stifle his giggling in the sleeve of his jumper.

 

“Did you just poke me with your stick?” Harry turns around with an incredulous look. When Niall bursts out laughing he realizes how that sounded and tries to keep himself from laughing as well but little giggles kept escaping him and he had to take a moment to settle himself before he took his next shot.

 

“You're taking too long, Curly. We should try to finish this game before 2042.” Niall smirked.

 

“If you,” Harry began, pointing a long finger at Niall “Don't behave, I will ban you from the game room for life.”

 

“You wouldn't dare.” Niall tilts his chin up and crosses his arms over his chest.

 

“Wouldn't I?” Harry tries to keep a straight face as he stares down Niall, he really does, but he lasts all of thirty seconds before his full on loud bark of a laugh escapes and he's bent over laughing with his hands on his knees.

 

“Oh my God,” Niall is laughing also, gasping for breath as he talks “Your face! Your face! You-you couldn't intimidate a five year old, mate.”

 

Harry doesn't know how long they were playing billiards or even how long they were currently laughing, but while they're both catching their breath and wiping their eyes, Louis walks in.

 

“What's going on in here? I can hear you laughing all the way down the hall.” Louis asks suspiciously.

 

“Harry threatened to ban me from the game room for life while trying to stare me down. He looked about as threatening as that large, stuffed teddy bear over there.” Niall points behind him to the couch “By the way, why _is_ there a large teddy bear on the couch?”

 

Louis throws his head back and laughs loudly “That is a very long story, involving a lot of alcohol and Wayne Rooney's stag do.”

 

“Oh,” Niall nods his head and furrows his eyebrows “Well now you have to tell me or I'm going to think some very disturbing things if left to my own devices.”

 

Louis laughs again, a look of pure delight on his face “It's nice to meet you in person, Niall, I'm Louis and you and I are going to get on just fine. Harold has already told me you love FIFA and now I've just witnessed you compare his threatening face to a large stuffed teddy bear. That's all I need to know.”

 

“Oh God,” Harry groaned “I have a feeling I'm going to regret letting the two of you meet. You're already ganging up on me.”

 

“Now, now Harold. If you're going to do stuff that gives us a reason to gang up on you, that's hardly the fault of Niall or myself is it?” Louis said, then he put an arm over Niall's shoulders and led the way to the large screen telly hanging on the wall and the pair decided which game they wanted to play.

 

Several hours later, with only a break for Harry to make dinner and feed them all, the three of them had played so many video games Harry was sure he was going to see them in his dreams that night. He wouldn't change a thing though, as he didn't think there was a day in his life he had had so much fun.

 

At one point they somehow ended up in a pillow fight, Harry really can't remember what started it or who, but it resulted in Louis taking off running through his house screaming with a laughing Niall hot on his heels. Harry was running after both of them, screaming at them that they better not destroy any of the art on his walls or the antiques sitting randomly around his house. Niall had stopped dead in his tracks and looked at Harry very calmly and said “Harry, don't be a pretentious twat.” Then took off again after Louis leaving Harry standing in the middle of the room wondering what the fuck just happened.

 

Later, after Niall had gone home for the night with a promise that they'd meet up again soon, Louis sat in Harry's kitchen drinking tea and grinning like a maniac at Harry.

 

“You, mate, are on the cusp of being completely gone for that man.” Louis stated, pointing a finger toward the door Niall had left from only twenty minutes before “And I approve. He's brilliant. He's everything I wish I could find in a woman. Too bad he doesn't have tits.”

 

“I quite enjoy him without them thank you very much” Harry retorts.

 

“Harry,” Louis very quickly turned serious “He's a good man. A really good man and he adores you. Don't let that slip away because you feel guilty. _Please_.

 

“What do you mean he adores me?” Harry stares at Louis with wide eyes.

 

Louis smiled softly, shaking his head from side to side “It was written all over his face, Harold. I watched him a bit. When you weren't looking I'd catch him staring at you with such fondness on his face I wanted to puke. Then when he'd be talking to you his face would just light up. Harry, he likes you too. It couldn't be more obvious.”

 

Harry was already shaking his head “No, Louis, it wasn't obvious, not to me. He was just being friendly, it's who he is. He's a happy, out going guy. It's part of what I like so much about him. If he could lose his husband three years ago and still somehow get to where he is now, then it gives me a lot of hope for myself.”

 

“I'm not surprised you haven't seen it,” Louis scoffed “You're the most oblivious person I know.”

 

“It doesn't matter,” Harry rolled his eyes at Louis “Even if he did like me, how could I do that to Jack?”

 

“Harry,” Louis smacks a hand on the table in frustration “Jack is dead. You wouldn't be doing anything to him. You can't spend the rest of your life alone because you're worried about Jack.”

 

“Thank you, Louis,” Harry sat rigidly in his chair, glaring at Louis “I'm well aware Jack is dead. I'm not quite as oblivious as you think.”

 

“Harry, I'm sorry,” Louis sighed and looked at his friend with a pleading look “I didn't mean anything-”

 

“I don't care. I'm going to bed. Lock the door on your way out. If you're staying, you know where the guest rooms are.” Harry said, flatly, then he pushed his chair back and left the kitchen without looking back.

 

 ~~~

 

 

January saw Harry and Niall spending more time together. They both went to each others houses for meals, to watch films or television shows, play video games or even just listen to music. Music was something they both loved and bonded over long before they ever met. Now that they have met, though, Harry bugs Niall to play guitar for him every chance he gets. He's constantly in awe of his talent and keeps asking over and over again why he isn't in the music industry. Niall rolls his eyes every time and keeps telling Harry it's not something he was ever interested in. He loves music, loves playing guitar but it's just for fun.

 

By the end of January Harry had met Niall's cousin who lived with him while he was attending university in London and also his best mate, Sean, and both of them were quickly becoming friends of Harry's. He also finally asked Niall if he could go with him to the pub he always meets their friends from the chat room once a month and Niall beams at him, telling him they'll be so happy to get to meet him finally.

 

They're all a bit shocked at first, when Harry walked in and made his way to their table. Niall broke out into hysterical laughter when Evan turned on all the girls and asked which one of them was dating Harry Styles and didn't tell him. Katy had scoffed and said she was pretty sure Harry Styles wasn't interested in any body part she had to offer so maybe Evan was the one dating him and didn't tell anyone.

 

“Or maybe he's our Curly?” Brenda spoke above them all, an eyebrow raised at Harry, waiting for confirmation.

 

“That would be me,” Harry sat down next to Niall and smiled shyly at the group.

 

“I have no idea what these twats are going on about but it's so, so good to meet you honey.” Brenda left her seat and hugged Harry tight for a moment before sitting back down.

 

“Of course Brenda doesn't know who he is, she listens to that weird classical music.” Evan scoffed.

 

“It's relaxing. You should try it. Now shut up.” She points a finger at Evan and the whole table laughs when his mouth promptly clamps shut.

 

“I'd like to apologize in advance if we end up in the papers guys. I'm pretty good at evading the paps for awhile but eventually somebody recognizes me and my picture ends up all over the place.” Harry spoke softly, his fingers nervously playing with a napkin.

 

Katy whines for a moment that she's not wearing any makeup but everyone can see the fond expression on her face and knows she's only joking.

 

Everyone accepted him right away, no questions asked. He was Curly to them and they didn't care what he did for a living. By the time he left that night to head home, he was feeling much better than he had since Jack died and even started to feel in his heart that every thing really would be okay.

 

 

 ~~~

 

 

Harry had another one of those setbacks Niall talked about on the anniversary of Jack's death. Jack's parents were having a small ceremony to remember him then visiting the grave and Harry so desperately didn't want to go. He'd rather go to the grave alone and talk to Jack quietly so he could break down and not have anyone see it. He had to go though. He couldn't turn down Jack's parents like that, it would hurt them too much.

 

So he struggled through it the best he could and by the end of the day he was so exhausted from holding back his emotions and trying to be strong for everyone else, that when he got home and found Niall sitting in his car waiting for him, he broke down immediately. He barely took the time to put the car in park before he ripped the door open and lunged at Niall who was just shutting the door to his car.

 

“It hurts so bad,” Harry cried against Niall's neck “It just hurts so bad.”

 

“I know. I know it does.” Niall held him tight and swayed their bodies side to side a little as he soothed Harry “Lets get you inside, okay? It's cold out here.”

 

“Don't leave,” Harry begged and clung on to Niall as he tried to lead him inside the house “Please don't leave.”

 

“I won't leave, H, I promise. We're just going to go in where it's warm and get you changed out of this suit into some comfy clothes. Then we'll take it from there but I won't leave, I'll stay as long as you want.” Niall assured Harry.

 

Harry nodded his head against Niall's shoulder and let Niall guide him toward the door. His feet were moving as they walked but he knew without a doubt Niall was holding him up. He knew Niall was taking the full weight of his one hundred and eighty pounds in his arms and taking care of him like he's never been taken care of before in his life. Nobody has ever had to take care of Harry like this before. He's never been in such a state.

 

Before he knew it, Niall was taking Harry's keys from his hands and opening up the door. He somehow coaxed Harry into turning off the alarm system before the alarm went off and the security company sent the police, then Harry was being led into his living room where they sat on the couch, the only sound being Harry's gut wrenching sobs as they echoed off the walls.

 

He doesn't really know how much time has passed, just that when his sobs subsided into sniffles, Niall's hands were on his cheeks and lifting his face up from his shoulder while wiping his thumbs across his cheeks to clear away some of the tears.

 

“Why don't you go upstairs and put on a nice warm jumper and some joggers and I'll go make us some tea? Then we can do whatever you want. We can talk about it or we can do something to get your mind off everything. It's up to you, yeah?” Niall smiled softly at him, the concern for Harry in his eyes was almost overwhelming.

 

“Okay,” Harry mumbled and got up from the couch on shaky legs to head upstairs to his bedroom. When he got there he slowly stripped off his suit until he was only in his pants then he went into the en suite where he washed his face and cleaned his nose with a wet cloth. When he was done he tied his hair up into a bun and looked at himself in the mirror. He looked like death. He was so pale and his eyes were really red and swollen. Looking at himself like this made him question if every thing really was going to be okay again like he was starting to believe.

 

When he made his way downstairs ten minutes later, he found Niall in the kitchen making tea. Niall didn't see him at first so Harry took a moment to look at him. He was really handsome, just like always but he looked tired and when Harry looked closely he could see the red around Niall's own eyes, as if he had been crying himself. Had he been? While Harry spent God knows how long sobbing in his arms, was Niall crying too? Was Harry that selfish that he didn't realize Niall must be hurting too? Memories of the first anniversary of Aiden's death must be coming back to him making it so hard on Niall to be there for him but he did it anyway. Harry hadn't even asked him to come over, he had shown up on his own.

 

“Oh. You're back.” Niall smiled slightly “I have your tea here. Are you warm enough? It's a cold day out there. I wasn't sure if you got a chill or something.”

 

“Niall,” Harry's voice sounded so terrible, so broken “Thank you for coming here today. I don't know why you did but I'm so grateful.”

 

“It's okay,” Niall shrugged “I knew what today was and I knew you might need a friend so I made sure to book today off work just in case.”

 

“You...” Harry's face crumpled as the tears started coming again “You took off work for me? You...Niall you didn't have to do that. You didn't-”

 

“Harry it's fine. I wanted to.” Niall came to stand next to Harry by the counter and placed a hand over his “You would do it for me. I know you would. We're friends and you're so important to me. I wasn't going to go to work and let you go through this alone.”

 

“But-but the money...”

 

Niall rolled his eyes at Harry and wrapped one arm around his waist “Harry I know you're in the music business and don't have a regular job like I do but there are these things called personal days? They allow you to take a day off and still get paid.”

 

“Shut up,” Harry huffed, a small smile appearing through his tears “I know what a personal day is you twat.”

 

“Then stop worrying about me money,” Niall laughed and poked him in the side “Besides, you know I work for a Football club. They pay pretty well. I'm doing quite alright for meself so stop worrying about that.”

 

“Alright, alright,” Harry concedes “You know, when you first told me you worked for Chelsea I wondered if I may have seen you at matches before or at Rooney's stag do.”

 

“Yeah I'm pretty sure players from Chelsea don't go to the stag do of a Man U player let alone people like me who work in the office.” Niall rolled his eyes.

 

“Yeah, you're the money man. What's it like to have control over all that money anyway? That's millions and millions of pounds you've got to manage. Oooohhhh and you must know about contracts before anyone else does right? Because they have to find out from you how much money is available to offer a player and all that money stuff I know nothing about.” Harry asked, wide eyed.

 

“Harry,” Niall begins giggling “It's like you're not aware of how much money you've made over the years. I could ask _you_ what it's like to manage millions of pounds.”

 

Harry scoffs and takes a sip from the tea Niall handed him “I have someone to manage my money for me. If I did it myself I'd have lost it all by now. I always found all that investment talk boring. I'd spend hours in meetings listening to people tell me how to protect my money and where to invest it. My eyes would glaze over. Finally I told them all to fuck off and asked my step father to handle it. He's a lawyer and he's been like a father to me for more than half my life. I know I can trust him.”

 

“That's good,” Niall nodded “You don't need to end up on one of those VH1 shows talking about how your manager or someone bilked you out of your millions.”

 

“Oh my God,” Harry's laugh came out sounding like a squawk “What do you be watching on telly?”

 

“Listen,” Niall points a finger at Harry “It's quite entertaining listening to Vanilla Ice blame everyone but himself for going bankrupt. I mean, the guy was a one hit wonder. He should have probably made sure he had at least one more hit on that atrocious album before he started buying a Ferrari and all that ridiculous bling.”

 

“Vanilla- oh my fucking God,” Harry cackles loudly. He reaches behind him to place his tea cup on the counter before he drops it, then he bends over at the waist laughing hysterically. He doesn't think he can laugh any harder until he sees Niall start strutting around the room singing 'Ice Ice Baby' over and over again.

 

“Holy fuck,” Harry gasped “I can't breathe.”

 

“Sorry,” Niall stops singing but he doesn't look sorry at all. The big smile is back on his face and the light that is usually in those baby blues is back in full force.

 

“Oh my God, Oh my God,” Harry holds a hand out toward Niall “Please tell me you watch the Kardashians.”

 

Niall's face screwed up like he'd just eaten something sour and he shook his head vigorously “No, no, no. I did see it one time. It made me want to scratch my eyes out. I mean, it's not supposed to be scripted but it's clearly scripted because none of them can act so when they're trying to act it's glaringly obvious.”

 

“Would this stuff come out of your mouth if you were in the presence of celebrities? Because if so, the next time I go to an award show or something, you're coming with me. It would be brilliant.” Harry said through his giggling.

 

Niall doesn't answer for a bit, simply stares at Harry with a big smile on his face, then “It's good to see you smiling. You should be like this always. You were made to smile I think.”

 

Harry ducks his head shyly as he feels his face heat up at the compliment. What was this man doing to him?

 

“Come on,” Niall speaks again “Let's go watch old episodes of Downton Abbey. The antics of Lady Mary never fail to amuse me.”

 

Harry chuckled lowly and lifted his head just in time to see Niall disappearing out of the kitchen and into the living room to set up the DVD. He followed after him slowly with a huge smile on his face because just an hour ago he was heartbroken and sobbing and somehow, someway Niall had turned it all around, making him laugh. He didn't know what he'd do without this man in his life. He hoped he'd never have to find out.

 

 ~~~

 

 

Louis was having a good day. He had gone over to Harry's house because there were a few contracts Harry needed to sign and since Harry asked him to come over and hang out he figured he'd bring the papers himself instead of getting them sent over.

 

It only took ten minutes to finish with the contracts then they grabbed a bunch of junk food and watched terrible films on the telly while laughing and making fun of them.

 

It was perfect. It was made even more perfect when Harry told him that since the anniversary of Jack's death he had been doing a lot of thinking and he decided he was ready to head downstairs and go through the boxes of things that had belonged to Jack. Louis was delighted because he could see his friend steadily getting better and he felt like this was a good next step.

 

So he offered to stay and help his friend. Not only because there was a lot of stuff to go through but because he wanted to be there if Harry got upset and needed someone to be there for him. They'd only known each other for five years but Harry had become a great friend to him pretty quickly and the pair of them became almost inseparable not only while working but as friends as well.

 

Everything was going well so far. Louis was separating all the clothes neatly into boxes and taping then over, marking the boxes with a sharpie to indicate they were for the Goodwill. Harry was going through the more personal items. He was putting things aside to get rid of, putting things aside he wanted to keep for memories and also putting things aside he thought Jack's parents and friends might like. There were a few tears shed and Harry looked sad, of course he did, but it wasn't as heavy as it had been in the months after Jack's death. Harry was okay and this was helping him gain closure.

 

That's why Louis thought it was okay to go upstairs and make some tea. He was wrong. The kettle had finished boiling and he was adding a drop of milk to his own cup when he heard a loud scream from downstairs, immediately followed by banging and crashing noises. Louis' eyes widened in shock and he spun around so fast to run back downstairs that his elbow knocked into his teacup sending it crashing to the tiled floor and breaking into a million pieces. The hot tea splashed over Louis' sock and soaked in quickly, leaving a burning sensation on his skin but he ignored it. He needed to get to Harry as soon as possible. He had no idea what was happening. Did someone break in and attack Harry? The alarm didn't go off and Harry's property is pretty secure but what else could it be?

 

He figured it out pretty quickly as he ran down the stairs and rounded the corner into the large room Harry was using for storage. Harry was in the middle of the room in a rage, screaming and throwing things around. Strands of his hair were falling out of his bun and flying around everywhere. His face was contorted into a look of fury Louis hasn't seen on anyone before, let alone Harry and his eyes...his eyes were wild and flashing with anger. If Louis didn't know Harry, he'd be terrified of him. He _was_ a bit terrified of him at the moment.

 

“HARRY!” Louis shouted, trying to get his friends attention. He was trying to get closer to Harry but the path was filled with broken glass and other items and Louis had no shoes on his feet “Harry stop it!!”

 

He didn't stop. He didn't even acknowledge Louis, just kept throwing things against the walls and ripping boxes open so he could throw the stuff in there around too. Nothing was safe from him. He was already making his way through the boxes of clothes Louis had neatly packed and taped over, tossing them around and ripping some of the shirts with his bare hands.

 

“Oh my God,” Louis whispered, tears building in his eyes “He's gone mad. He's lost his mind.”

 

He tried again to get to Harry but Harry only turned on him and Louis watched a paperweight fly past his head and go crashing into the wall. Louis was scared now, officially scared but also worried. If he didn't stop this soon Harry could end up hurting himself on all the glass and broken objects in there.

 

He grabbed his phone out of his pocket and ran around the corner, scrolling through his contacts with shaky fingers. He couldn't think of anyone to call other than Niall. He didn't know if Niall had ever freaked out this way but he knew Niall lost his husband in the same way Harry lost his boyfriend. He knew if anyone was going to understand what Harry was going through right now it'd be Niall. So he clicked on Niall's name while sending up a silent prayer that he'd hit it off with Niall and as a result had his number in his phone.

 

“Tommo!!” Niall answered happily “Jesus, are you having a party in the middle of the day? What's all the noise?”

 

“Niall,” Louis started in a shaky voice “Fuck, Niall, that's _Harry._ He's-he's gone mental or something. He's throwing things everywhere and-and-”

 

“Louis calm down,” Niall's voice was deadly serious now “What's going on? Where's Harry?”

 

“He's in the other room throwing things everywhere. It's a mess, Niall. There's glass _everywhere_ and when I tried to get close to him he turned on me and threw a paperweight at my head!” Louis cried “I don't know what to do, Niall. Tell me what to do!!”

 

“Shit,” Niall cursed “I'm coming, Louis. I'm leaving my house right now. I'll be there as fast as traffic will let me get there. Open the door for me and just-just keep an eye on him. If he tries to-if he tries to do anything drastic, do whatever you have to do to stop him.”

 

“Drastic?” Louis screeched “You don't think he'd actually...”

 

“I don't know, Louis! I don't know.” Niall yelled out “I'll be there soon.”

 

Then the line went dead and Louis shoved the phone back in his pocket with shaky hands and made his way back to the room. Harry was screaming obscenities now, slamming things against the wall and calling someone a lying bastard over and over again. Louis was baffled, so baffled but at least Harry hadn't done anything to hurt himself...yet.

 

Over the next twenty minutes, Louis tried multiple times to get near Harry again. Maybe a comforting hand would help? Or a hug? Or...what? What did Louis think he was going to accomplish? In the end, Harry was telling him to 'get the fuck away from me' and all Louis got for his trouble were cuts to his feet from the glass to join the burn he already got from the tea.

 

Thankfully, just a minute after Louis had run upstairs to unlock the door for Niall, Niall came running through the door looking pale and quite a bit frantic. He took off past Louis for the stairs with Louis hobbling right behind him on his bleeding foot. At least Niall hadn't taken his boots off so he'd be fine walking over all that debris.

 

When they rounded the corner into the storage area, he heard Niall gasp and become even more pale if that were possible.

 

“Fuck,” Niall cursed “Fuck. What happened? What made him do this?”

 

“I don't know,” Louis' voice still shook “He was fine. He told me he wanted to finally sort through Jack's things today. He was doing fine. Handling it so well. He was a bit sad but he mostly seemed to be thinking about good memories while he sorted through everything. I went upstairs for some tea and that's when I heard him scream and when I came down he was wrecking everything.”

 

Niall only nodded his head and swiped a hand over his jaw as he took everything in. Then he walked forward toward Harry while Louis looked on with wide eyes.

 

“Harry. Harry it's Niall. Can you calm down and talk to me please?” Niall spoke calmly to Harry, trying not to spook him.

 

“Leave me alone, Niall!” Harry screamed before he lunged at an open box to grab something else to throw and caught his toe on something, sending him sprawling out. Niall was quick and lunged forward himself, grabbing onto Harry to keep him upright. Harry started flailing right away, screaming at Niall to let him go but Niall only held on tighter, wrapping his arms around Harry's waist to try and stop the madness.

 

“GET OFF!!!” Harry screamed. He jabbed his elbows back repeatedly into Niall's ribs and Louis winced because he knew that had to be really painful but Niall didn't let go. Harry was bigger than him and on some sort of rampage but he didn't let go. He held on tight and started to pull Harry away from the debris as he kicked and screamed that he 'hated him' over and over again. Hated who? Louis had no idea. He didn't think he meant Niall because before Niall even arrived he was calling someone a lying bastard.

 

“Harry, stop it! Stop this right now!” Niall yelled in a firm voice “Whatever has happened, whatever is wrong, this is not helping. You're going to hurt yourself or me or Louis. Is that what you want?”

 

“I want to hurt him!!!” Harry wailed, one of his arms coming up and hitting Niall in the face. _Still_ Niall didn't let go and Louis just stood there in awe as Niall took all this abuse from Harry without even flinching. Niall was in love with his friend, there was no doubt about it and Louis could only hope that Harry would do something about that if he ever got out of the situation he was in right now.

 

“I want to hurt him but I can't because he's dead!” Harry screamed “He's dead so he doesn't have to deal with it. He's a fucking coward and I hate him!”

 

“Can you help me get him upstairs?” Niall murmured near his ear as he managed to pull Harry over to the doorway “I saw you were limping and your sock is soaked in blood.”

 

Louis shook his head “I don't care. I'll deal with it later. Just tell me what to do.”

 

Niall nodded then instructed Louis to get on one side of Harry to hold his arm while Niall stayed on the other side. That way Harry's arms were neutralized and if he continued to kick they'd just lift him and carry him up the stairs.

 

Of course that's what they end up doing and by the time they pushed Harry down on the couch in his living room, both men were red faced and sweating from fighting to get Harry upstairs.

 

“I've got it from here, Louis. Go stop that bleeding and clean your foot. I need to talk to him alone. I think it'll be better that way.” Niall told Louis.

 

Louis didn't want to leave, he didn't but what could he do? He had no idea what he's doing and at least Niall knew what Harry was going through.

 

“Call me if you need me. If he gets out of hand and you need me to help you, just call out.” Louis said to Niall, then he turned to leave the room, the last thing he saw as he looked back one last time was Niall kneeling in front of a sobbing Harry holding his face in his hands.

 

 

 ~~~

 

 

Harry was exhausted. He was so exhausted yet he still couldn't stop sobbing. He was aware of Niall in front of him, rubbing his thumbs over his cheeks and talking to him, trying to get him to calm down. It only made everything more heart breaking.

 

“Please say something, H.” Niall pleaded with him “Anything. I need to know you're okay. That you're still in there.”

 

“I'm-I'm not okay.” Harry managed to spit out over his sobs “I'm furious, I'm hurt, I'm-I'm, oh God, I'm so fucking stupid.”

 

“You're not stupid, H. You're so smart. Some of the best conversations I've ever had have been with you.” Niall spoke gently.

 

“I trusted him,” Harry whispered “I trusted him and he-he took that trust and spit on it. I-I trusted him so much and he used it against me. Oh God it hurts so much.”

 

“Who broke your trust Harry? Who hurt you? Can you talk to me? Tell me what happened?” Niall continued to soothe him.

 

“I can't. I can't!” Harry shook his head violently “It's-it's all on the phone. I found it all on his phone.”

 

Niall moved away for a moment and Harry could hear him call for Louis. When Louis appeared they talked for a minute then Louis left again and Niall came back to him.

 

“Will you at least let me hug you?” Niall pleaded “You don't have to tell me anything, just let me hug you.”

 

Harry didn't respond, just flung his arms around Niall's neck and held on to him for dear life. It was quite awkward with Harry sitting on the couch and Niall kneeling in front of him so Niall got up and sat beside Harry on the couch and turned to face Harry so he could wrap him up in his arms.

 

“It's okay,” Niall's lips brushed against his ear as he spoke “Whatever it is, we'll get through it together. You and me, yeah? Right now it may seem like it'll never be okay again but it will be, I promise it will be.”

 

Harry whimpered and pressed his body even closer against Niall's “I'm so stupid, Niall. I'm a stupid, miserable fool.”

 

“You're not,” Niall squeezed him tight “Not even close. You're so smart, H. Not only that, you're a beautiful person inside and out. You're so, so lovely and I won't let you sit here and say otherwise.”

 

“Niall,” Louis came back into the room, his voice as hard as steel “I think I found the phone he was talking about. It's Jack's phone.”

 

Niall didn't let go of Harry, just continued to rock him back and forth and kiss his temple reassuringly “Can I look at the phone, Harry? It's up to you. Maybe I can help you if I know what's going on.”

 

Harry simply nodded and pulled back a little so Niall could reach for the phone. He kept his head resting against Niall's shoulder and his face buried in his neck as he waited for him to realize what a fool he's been.

 

“What's going on is Jack was a lying fucking bastard and if he wasn't dead already I'd fucking kill him myself.” Louis was seething as he paced back and forth in front of the couch.

 

“Louis,” Niall said, sharply “Stop it. That's helping nothing right now.”

 

Louis stopped talking but continued to pace and other than the sound of his footsteps the room was silent while Niall looked at Jack's phone. After a few moments, Harry heard the phone get tossed onto the table and Niall's hand that was holding the phone came up to run through Harry's hair.

 

“Now can I talk shit about that filthy piece of shit?” Louis spoke again “How dare he-”

 

“Louis,” Niall cut Louis off again, his voice sharp and firm. If he weren't in agony right now he'd laugh because _nobody_ ever spoke to Louis that way and got away with it, yet Niall was. “Outside. Now. I'll be right back Harry. I promise. Just one minute.”

 

Then Niall was gone and he was pushing Louis outside the living room into the hallway. He obviously thought Harry wouldn't hear them but Louis doesn't have an indoor voice so he heard most of it.

 

“Niall, let me go for fuck's sake! You read the texts yourself. You saw them. Why aren't you upset? That fucking bastard was _cheating_ on Harry. For at least six months! How can you be so fucking calm right now?” Louis spat.

 

“Who said I'm not mad? I'm furious. Harry didn't deserve that, nobody does but do you think he needs to hear us talking shit about his boyfriend right now? Jack cheating on him doesn't change the fact that Harry loved him. He wouldn't be upset if he didn't love him and I'm not going to sit there and talk bad about the man he loved. Now I'm going back in there to help my friend. You go calm yourself down, then come back and be there for him too.” Niall said in a steely voice.

 

Louis must not have had anything to say because ten seconds later, Niall was walking back into the living room where Harry was looking at texts on the phone, tears streaming quickly down his face.

 

“Harry,” Niall sighed “Don't look at that. Don't read those texts. You've already seen them. Don't torture yourself.”

 

“These texts started six months before he died. For at least six months, the man I loved and planned to marry one day, was seeing someone else behind my back.” Harry said in a calm voice “While I was on tour and he was calling me everyday, telling me he loved and missed me, telling me he couldn't wait for me to get home, he was _fucking_ someone else.”

 

“Harry,” Niall reached out for him but he shrugged him off.

 

“No. No, Niall. It's all true. Everything I'm saying is true. You saw it with your own eyes. His-his _lover_ was even asking when he was going to tell me it was over. He was planning on leaving me. I gave him five years of my life. I gave him my heart, I gave him everything. He took _everything_ from me and it meant nothing to him.” Harry stood up now, getting angry again.

 

“No, Harry, you don't know that for sure. You don't know-”

 

“Don't I?” Harry cut Niall off “It's right there, Niall. While I was pouring everything I had into our relationship, he was fucking someone else behind my back. Probably in our bed. Oh my God. He probably-he probably fucked him then came home to me and fucked me too. Oh God I'm going to be sick.”

 

Harry took off down the hall to the bathroom, making it just in time to vomit into the toilet. He felt Niall come in and kneel down beside him, fixing his messed up hair and tying it into a proper bun again so he didn't get vomit in it. His hands were so gentle, so warm as he circled one over Harry's back. It made him feel safe. It made him feel loved.

 

“Here,” Niall put a glass of water in his hand “Drink that, rinse your mouth out. You'll feel better.”

 

Harry doubted he'd feel better but he did it anyway because Niall asked him to. Niall who took care of him, who was there for him everyday no matter what time, Niall who puts Harry above anyone else including himself if Harry needs him. Niall who he was fighting his feelings for out of some sort of misguided loyalty to Jack.

 

“Oh God,” Harry moaned as he put the glass down on the counter and stumbled out into the hallway “Oh my...this can't be happening right now. This can't be fucking happening.”

 

“What, Harry? What is it?” Niall's arm wrapped around his waist to hold him up.

 

“Even when he's dead he's messing with my life,” Harry spun around to face Niall as he began to laugh hysterically. “All this time I've been fighting my feelings because of him, because I didn't want to betray him even though he's _dead._ Only to find out he was already betraying me in the worst possible way when he was alive.”

 

“Harry, you're not making sense,” Niall tried to guide him back to the living room but Harry shook him off and stood facing Niall, blocking him from walking down the hallway “You're exhausted. You need to sit down and try to rest. When you've gotten some sleep you-”

 

“I don't need any sleep. I don't want any sleep. I'm not confused. I know what I want. I know exactly what I want but I've been denying myself for months because of the immense guilt I felt. It fucking consumed me and for what? Why should I feel guilty when he was fucking someone behind my back for God knows how long?” Harry was practically on top of Niall now, not giving the other man much room to breathe but he couldn't help it. He had to tell him. He had to make him understand.

 

“What do you want, Harry?” Niall looked him right in the eye as he spoke “What have you been feeling guilty about?”

 

“You!!” Harry exploded. He reached up and cupped Niall's face in his large hands and looked into his clear blue eyes as they widened comically “I want you, Niall. I've wanted you for so long. Everyday my feelings for you kept growing and everyday I was consumed with guilt because I thought it was too soon, that I was betraying Jack. Louis told me over and over again that I wasn't betraying anyone, that I had to move on sometime and there was no set timeline of when I had to do it. I didn't listen though. The guilt was eating me alive and-and-”

 

“Harry,” Niall's voice was shaky, his eyes still wide and panicked “You don't- you can't- no.”

 

“What?” Harry furrowed his eyebrows and searched Niall's face “I don't what? I can't what?”

 

Harry watched as Niall straightened his body and stood at his full height, his shoulders squared. He gently wrapped his hands around Harry's wrists and removed his hands from his face then took a deep, steadying breath “You don't mean that. You can't just say things like that.”

 

“What do you mean I don't mean it? Of course I do. I know how I feel, Niall. Why shouldn't I say it?” Harry asked, his expression remaining confused.

 

Niall doesn't say anything, just stands there uncomfortably while Harry stares at him, trying to figure it out. It takes him a minute. A minute too long.

 

“Oh,” Harry steps back as if he was hit “I see. It's not about how I feel, it's about how you feel, right? You clearly don't feel the same for me and... _wow_ okay I just made a fool of myself.”

 

“Harry no!” Niall reached out for him, but Harry held up a hand in front of him and shook his head.

 

“Don't. Just don't. I'm so-I just need you to leave. Just get out, okay? Just get out.” Harry managed to get out, his voice breaking as he spoke. He turned around and blindly made his way down the hallway, not knowing where he was going or what he was going to do. He just needed to get away from Niall so he could die of complete humiliation.

 

“Harry, _please_ listen to me,” Niall came running after him, sounding desperate “You don't understand-”

 

“I understand!” Harry whirled around to face Niall, screaming “I do fucking understand now get out!!”

 

“Harry-”

 

“I SAID GET OUT!!” Harry screamed, his eyes brimming with tears and his hands clenched into fists at his side.

 

Niall stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes wide and full of so much hurt that Harry wanted to drop down on his knees in front of him and beg for forgiveness. He nearly did when a single tear slid down Niall's cheek, then Niall turned around and took off, nearly taking Louis out in the process.

 

“Louis...”Harry whimpered and for once Louis kept his mouth shut and didn't question anything, just grabbed his friend into his arms and held on to him until he was told to let go.

 

 

 ~~~

 

 

The next two weeks were like a test of the patience of people in Harry's life. He wasn't functioning properly and it was making life difficult for everyone who worked for him. Whenever he had to go out he didn't bother dressing properly, combing his hair, or hiding his puffy eyes. It made both his hair and makeup woman, Lou, mad, as well as his stylist Cassie, and his publicist Joanne.

 

Lou kept whining on and on that every time Harry went out looking like a slob it made her look like she couldn't do her job. Cassie said the exact same thing because how dare Harry go out in a worn out jumper, with a hole in it and a stain on it? People were going to think she actually picked that for him. For Joanne it was all the bad press Harry was getting. The tabloids world wide were reporting that Harry looked sick and depressed, like he hadn't eaten anything in days. They all wondered the same thing, was Harry Styles finally having a nervous breakdown thirteen months after the death of his long time boyfriend. Harry was working on an album right now and in this case bad press, is _not_ good press.

 

Even one of his producers was losing his patience. Harry kept messing up the lyrics of the songs when he tried to sing and his voice sounded like crap. You knew something was definitely wrong when Liam Payne throws his hands up in the air and tells Harry not to come back until he got his shit together.

 

Harry didn't care. He didn't care about anything. When he really, really thought about it, he didn't even care anymore that Jack cheated on him. He was done letting that bastard make him sad. He didn't care what he wore, what he ate, if he showered, or if his whole career fell apart. The only thing he cared about was Niall. He missed him so much it actually hurt to breathe and to make things worse, Harry couldn't help but torture himself with day dreams of what life would be like if Niall was his. It was pure torture because once he snapped out of it he had to face the fact that it would never happen. Niall didn't want him and Harry was so mortified and embarrassed, he didn't think they'd ever get their friendship back.

 

A month passed like this. Louis kept trying to talk to him but he refused to listen and snapped at his best friend to leave him alone. It usually ended up with Harry slamming a door in Louis' face and Louis was most likely too afraid to push, afraid Harry would go into a rage again and destroy another room in his house.

 

He also ignored every text, phone call and voice mail from Niall. He didn't want to hear Niall let him down easy. He didn't want to hear him say he liked Harry as a friend and could they please try to remain friends? He wanted none of it. He kept his phone turned off for the most part, asking Louis to let anyone important know they could reach him through Louis if they needed him badly enough. It wasn't fair to Louis but Harry was in too much of a state to care about that right now.

 

Apparently Louis was tired of dealing with it and decided to confront Harry, this time getting up in his face and clearly not caring if Harry lost it or not anymore.

 

“Listen to me, Harold. Just sit the fuck down and listen to me!” Louis wasn't yelling yet but he was just about. Harry knew his best friend and could see the determination in his eyes so he just sighed and rolled his eyes then sat himself down on the couch while Louis paced back and forth running a hand through his hair.

 

“You're being selfish,” Harry's jaw dropped open and he looked at Louis incredulously “No, no, hear me out” Louis put a hand up to stop Harry from speaking “You never let Niall speak that night you threw him out of this house. You just assumed he didn't want you.”

 

“Maybe because he said I couldn't say things like that?” Harry scoffed, then shut his mouth when Louis glared at him.

 

“You never once thought of this from his perspective did you? Because I have. You were too busy in a rage and bashing things against the wall that night to notice it but Niall went into that room, fearless. You've got two inches on him and you're built bigger but he grabbed you around the waist and held on while you thrashed around kicking and screaming. I stood there watching while your elbows crashed violently into his ribs nearly knocking the breath out of him, I watched as your arm came up and smacked him in the face. I watched it all and he never once let go. He didn't care about himself. He only cared about keeping you from hurting yourself.” Louis stopped to take a breath, his hands on his hips as he paced back and forth.

 

“I went to see him a couple of days later. I wanted to see how he was doing. He had a nasty bruise on his cheek from where your elbow connected and when he wouldn't show me his stomach I practically accosted him and pulled his jumper up to see for myself. His torso was covered in bruises, Harry, and I'm not saying this to make you feel bad. You were out of your mind with hurt and nobody forced Niall to hold on to you that way. I'm telling you this because he was probably in a lot of pain but he wouldn't talk about it. The only thing he wanted from me was to know how you were doing. He wanted to know if you were okay and if I was taking care of you. I thought to myself 'that's not the actions of someone who isn't in love' and I asked him what he was going to say to you before you threw him out and he said it didn't matter, then he asked me to let him know how you were doing and I was effectively dismissed.

 

So I thought about it and then I thought about it some more and I realized the position Niall was in. It's written all over his face that he has feelings for you but did you ever stop to think of how hard that must be for him? You're his friend, you're grieving and he's been there for you. He probably didn't mean to fall in love with you and he probably felt like an idiot for doing so. Then, when you're in the middle of a rage because you found out your dead boyfriend was having an affair behind your back, you blurt out that you want him, that you have feelings for him. He probably wanted to jump in your arms and snog the face off you but how does he know if you mean it or if you're just hurt from Jack? How does he know you don't just think you have feelings for him because you're so grateful he helped you through such a hard time in your life? He's been hurt too, Harry, remember? He lost his husband. He has to protect himself don't you think? It doesn't mean he doesn't want you or that he doesn't have feelings for you.”

 

Harry sat stunned as Louis stopped in front of him, finally done his speech. His mind was reeling from everything Louis said to him. “How I feel about him has nothing to do with him helping me with my grief for the past eleven months. He's not a rebound to mend my broken heart after losing Jack.”

 

“Yeah, I know that, you know that, but how would he know that? You blurted it out after you found out Jack cheated. He probably thought you were just saying it in the heat of the moment, almost like a revenge thing against Jack or something.” Louis pointed out.

 

“But-but I was falling for him long before I knew Jack cheated” Harry said, weakly.

 

“Yes but you never told him that. You never hit on him or gave him any indication you were interested. This came out of nowhere for him. He was blindsided and before he could talk to you about it you threw him out.” Louis threw his hands up exasperated.

 

“Oh God,” Harry whispered as realization dawned on him “Oh no no no. Louis, I hurt him. I saw it in his eyes when I screamed at him to get out. I hurt him.”

 

“Harry, please don't start sobbing again,” Louis pleaded as Harry's body started to shake “Don't cry. _Do_ something about it.”

 

“Do what?” Harry's accent was thick as he cried “I _love_ him, Louis. Fuck I'm so in love with him and I didn't even realize it until right now. God, I knew I had strong feelings for him but...I love him. I love him so much and I hurt him so bad. Oh my God I can't even bear it.”

 

“Harry, listen to me,” Louis grabbed him by the shoulders “I know you love him. I knew two months ago you were in love with him. You just couldn't see it because you felt too much guilt for even _liking_ him. Well, now you know. Now you know you're in love with him and yes, it hurts that you hurt him but you need to stop crying and pick yourself up and go to him, tell him what you told me. Make him see you love him for _him_ and not some misguided sense of gratefulness for helping you through your grief. That's what you need to do.”

 

Harry nodded and wiped the tears from his face furiously “That's what I have to do. I have to- God I need a shower. I can't go see him smelling like this.”

 

Louis barked out a laugh and slapped Harry on the back “I don't think he'd care mate but a shower couldn't hurt.”

 

“Okay,” Harry sniffed and pushed his hair back from his face “Yeah. I need a shower and then I'll-I'll go to his house and just...lay it all out there. I'll make him believe me. Yeah. Okay.”

 

“Okay stud,” Louis laughed “Stop talking to yourself and grab that shower. I'll pick you out a nice, smart outfit.”

 

“Niall doesn't care what I'm wearing.” Harry scrunched up his nose.

 

“No, he doesn't. He'd probably prefer you naked. I'm going to put you in an outfit that he'll have fun removing when you two get your act together.” Louis said with a smirk.

 

“Louis!!” Harry squawked “Even if things go well, it doesn't mean I'm going to sleep with him.”

 

“Really?” Louis quirked an eyebrow “You're in love with him and you haven't had sex in over a year. Think about that, _then_ tell me you're not going to have sex with him.”

 

Harry stared at Louis, his mouth moving but nothing coming out.

 

“Thought so,” Louis grinned “Now go take a shower and make sure _all_ important areas are cleaned...thoroughly.”

 

“Oh my God you're ridiculous,” Harry turned bright red and tried to glare at his friend but Louis wasn't even looking at him anymore. He was already heading out of the living room and toward Harry's closet while Harry followed behind red faced but with a smile on his face.

 

 

 ~~~

 

 

Harry ended up on Niall's doorstep an hour later after he spent ten minutes rolling his eyes and laughing at Louis. When he got out of the shower, Louis had his tightest pair of skinny jeans on the bed waiting for him along with one of his many patterned shirts. This one had flecks of green in it that apparently brought out his eyes and Louis had instructed him to button it up leaving only the top two buttons open. When Harry asked why this outfit was supposed to make Niall have more fun undressing him, Louis rolled his eyes and said “Becauseeeeee Harold, the more buttons you have done up leaves more to the imagination. You're teasing him with a little glimpse of your chest. Then, when he finally gets to take it off you, he gets to reveal you one.button.at.a.time.”

 

Harry had blushed at that, making Louis cackle and shove him toward his closet to get dressed. He tried to make him ditch the boxers to go commando but Harry refused so Louis compromised and handed him a tiny pair of black boxer briefs Harry knew fit snug around his arse.

 

It was all ridiculous really but Harry let Louis have his fun anyway. The important thing is making Niall see that he's in love with him. Anything else that happens after is icing on the cake.

 

He finished off his outfit with a pair of black boots, stuck his hair up in a bun (which pleased Louis because apparently men and women everywhere cream themselves over Harry's man bun) and then grabbed his keys and grey peacoat and was out the door to 'get his man'. Again, Louis' words.

 

When he finally knocked on Niall's door, he held his breath and waited for it to open. When it did, it was Willie, Niall's cousin and Harry drew out a breath while trying to figure out how Willie was going to react.

 

“If you're here to fuck Niall up some more, I'm going to have to rearrange your pretty, popstar face. If you're here to fix things, then I'll grab my coat and keys and head to the missus' for the night.” Willie said, his voice sounding neutral even though he pretty much just threatened him.

 

“Fix things. Definitely to fix things.” Harry assured Niall's cousin.

 

Willie nodded then ducked back inside for a moment, coming back with a wool coat and keys in his hand “I'll be off then. He's been through a lot. I know you have too. He deserves to be happy. If you can't do that, leave and he'll never know you were here. I think you can though and I don't know you that well but I think you deserve to be happy too.

 

“Thank you,” Harry whispered, his voice sounding strained from trying to hold back the tears that were forming in his eyes “If he'll let me, I intend to make him very happy.”

 

“Good lad,” Willie grinned and slapped him on the back “He's in his office. Brought work home with him this evening.”

 

Harry nodded then stepped inside the house, closing the door and locking it behind him. He left his boots on the mat then silently made his way through the house until he made it to where he knew Niall's home office was. The door was half open so Harry saw him right away, his breath hitching at the sight. He obviously hadn't changed from work, simply removed his tie and undid a couple buttons on his button down shirt. His hair was fluffy and messed up, probably from Niall running his hands through it all day. His jaw and chin were filled with dark stubble from not having shaved for a few days and...he was wearing black framed glasses. Since when the fuck did Niall wear glasses? He was trying to kill him. That's the only explanation. Niall was trying to kill him.

 

Niall must have heard him shuffle around or merely sensed someone watching him because he looked up and his eyes went wide behind his glasses the moment they met Harry's. Harry knew his own eyes were wide as he stared back at Niall, his mouth was open a bit too and he probably looked like an idiot but he still couldn't seem to bring himself to speak.

 

Niall seemed to snap out of it first, clearing his throat before he spoke “Harry.”

 

That was it. Just his name. No question mark after it, just a statement. Harry. It was okay. Niall had every right to be guarded. Harry didn't expect him to come running into his arms like they do in romantic films.

 

“Hi,” Harry spoke softly “Could I come in?”

 

Niall sat still behind his desk with a pen clutched in one hand, staring at Harry like he wasn't real. Like he couldn't believe he was there. He nodded his head slightly so Harry took a tentative step into the room, motioning toward the leather sofa that was pressed up against one wall. When Niall indicated he should sit down, Harry did so, unbuttoning his coat first and slipping it off, draping it over his lap to keep his hands busy.

 

“I think we need to talk,” Harry started “No, I want us to talk. When we were last together I-I didn't let you talk. I had my say but you never got yours and I very much want you to. I want to hear what you were going to say, if you still want me to hear it.”

 

Niall studied him for a minute, longer than a minute, looking unsure of what he wanted to do or say, if he wanted to say anything at all. Finally he sighed and slipped his glasses off to pinch the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger.

 

“Okay,” He murmured “I just- I'm not even really sure what I was going to say word for word. Every thing was so jumbled up and a bit chaotic. It all happened so fast. So what I was going to say probably would have come out a mess and confused the hell out of you. I've had a lot of time to think about it though, and I know what I want to say and I think I can do it without it being confusing now.”

 

Harry nodded for him to continue, his eyes never leaving his for a second.

 

“I know I've told you before how I felt when Aiden died. My world ended. I really thought I couldn't go on. I know you felt the same way about Jack. Your world ended. It didn't matter that you weren't married. You and I, we went through the same thing only, it was a bit different for me because I was married to Aiden. I had to deal with things you didn't have to. As his husband I was his next of kin. Every thing fell on me. I got the death notification from the police. I had to ID his body because he forgot his wallet at home and had no drivers license on him. I was given his personal effects once it was determined it was just a stupid accident and not a crime. I was the one who was notified six months later by our lawyer that the insurance company was sending a check for a million pounds because he had a million pound life insurance policy. I was the one who refused to accept the check from my lawyer because it felt like I was being paid for him dying. It was morbid and I wanted nothing to do with it.” Niall stopped abruptly, taking in a couple of shaky breaths before he continued.

 

“It was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, all of that plus watching the man I married and wanted to spend my whole life with being lowered into the ground in a box.” Niall's voice broke on the last word and Harry wanted nothing more than to jump up and move around the desk to wrap him up in his arms.

 

“The reason I'm telling you all this is because I vowed I'd never do it again. I didn't intend on spending my life alone, just never getting married again. Never being legally tied to someone again and be the one everything falls on when it all goes to shit. Then you came along, broken beyond belief and I _understood._ I knew exactly how you were feeling and wanted nothing more than to take that pain from you even though you were a stranger. I didn't even know your name. I wanted to help you. If you went through even an ounce less pain than I did it would be a victory.

 

Then weeks passed. Weeks turned into months. We started talking on the phone, then Skype, then we met and...Christ somewhere along the way I ended up having feelings for you that were more than friendship. I tried to ignore it. You had become a good friend and I didn't want to screw that up by doing something stupid, especially something you weren't ready for.

 

Then those feelings turned into something more. I realized it that day I came to your house on the anniversary of Jack's death. You were hurting so bad and I held on to you while in my head I was begging God to make it stop. To put your hurt on me. I had already taken it once. I could take it again. It shook me up. I had a bit of a freak out while you were upstairs changing and washing your face. Cried a bit while I made us tea. I put it aside though, because at the end of the day you were still my friend and I needed to be there for you.

 

I realized something else that day, too. Hit me full force when I got home and got in bed. I realized that I would marry you someday if you asked me to. I would. No hesitation. After I vowed to never marry again, I realized I would do it with you.

 

That's why, when you told me how you felt about me, I didn't know what to say or do. Harry, you have to understand I-I can't get involved with someone on a rebound. I can't get involved with you when you might only think you have feelings for me when what you really feel is gratitude for me helping you through a tough time. I can't do that to myself. I have to look after me because I can't lose another person I love as much as I love you. It would break me, it-” Niall's voice broke and he stopped talking. Tears were slowly streaming down his face but he made no move to brush them aside.

 

“Niall,” Harry's own voice broke as he shed his own tears. Jesus, the pain this man went through, the pain this man was in right now was crippling. He didn't know how he was still breathing “I realized I had feelings for you back in the fall. November I think. I kept trying to ignore it because I felt so guilty. Jack hadn't even been dead a year and here I was having strong feelings for another man. It killed me. It hurt me so bad and Louis kept telling me I deserved to be happy, I couldn't be alone forever and there wasn't a timeline that I had to follow that told me when I could get involved with someone again. I should simply get involved when I was ready, no matter how long Jack was gone. I didn't listen though. I couldn't. The guilt was eating me alive yet I _still_ couldn't stop thinking about you, _still_ couldn't stop those feelings from getting stronger until one day I realized I was in love with you and convinced myself I was going to hell for betraying Jack that way.

 

Then I found those texts on Jack's phone and my world fell apart all over again for more than one reason. One, because I realized my relationship apparently wasn't as happy as I thought it was or I wasn't good enough for him, not giving him what he needed, all that shit. Two, because I realized I spent months letting guilt eat me alive for falling in love with you when Jack was cheating on me anyway. I felt guilty for betraying his memory when he betrayed me while he was alive.

 

Obviously, I didn't handle it very well. I freaked out, to put it mildly, and then I just...blurted everything out to you in the middle of the hallway of my house, five minutes after I vomited in my fucking toilet. Jesus Christ, your head must have been spinning faster than Linda Blair's in The Exorcist.”

 

Niall snorted out a laugh at that and Harry laughed too, he couldn't help it. Even just a tiny laugh from Niall was worth smiling about. “Could you come over here? Sit on the couch so I'm not talking to you behind a desk.”

 

Niall nodded and stood up, wiping his face on the sleeve of his button down. He took a seat on the couch, not right next to Harry but close enough. The main thing was Harry could look him in the eye when he spoke.

 

“I'm so sorry for yelling at you and telling you to get out of my house. I was so embarrassed because I thought- I thought you didn't want me. Like Jack. I thought you didn't want me like Jack didn't want me and it was too much to bear.”

 

“Fuck,” Niall cursed, interrupting Harry. He moved closer on the couch and just like that Harry felt Niall's fingers on his jaw, lifting his face up so he could look him in the eye. “I want you, Harry. God, I really want you. It was never about that, okay? Never.”

 

Harry looked at Niall with wide eyes “I-I know that now. I know that and now I need _you_ to know that I love you. I'm in love with you and it's not a rebound and it's not because of gratitude. It's because you're you. I love how patient you are with me, I love how kind you are, I love how gentle you are. I love how you laugh so easily, despite what you've gone through, I love how your smile and your eyes can light up any room and make any person smile back at you no matter how pissed off they are. I love how you make me laugh when I'm so low I think I'll never laugh again. I love how you curse like a sailor most of the time and call Louis every nasty name that exists when you're playing FIFA. I love how your tongue pokes out between your lips when you're concentrating hard on something and I love how you make me feel like I'm the only one in the room when the room is filled with people. I love-I love that you make sure to Skype with your brother several times a week so that you can talk to your nephew. I love that you don't let the fact you live in England and not Ireland stop you from being the best uncle a little boy could ask for. I can keep going if you want. I'll keep going until you believe me. I love you. I really fucking love you.”

 

Niall was completely quiet, not moving a muscle, not even breathing as he stared into Harry's eyes intently. Harry stared back and slipped a hand into one of Niall's, linking their fingers together and squeezing softly “It's true,baby. I love you. Please believe that. Please.”

 

Niall stared for a moment longer, his eyes searching Harry's for the truth. After what felt like years to Harry, Niall closed his eyes and let out a long breath then nodded his head, firmly, a few times before pressing his forehead against Harry's “I do believe it. I believe you.”

 

“Thank fuck,” Harry sighed with relief “Because I wasn't going to leave here until you did.”

 

“No?” Niall chuckled, his face lighting up with a grin “What was your plan then?”

 

Harry moved his forehead from Niall's so he could look into his eyes “I would have refused to leave and fought for you with everything I've got.”

 

“I believe you would do that,” Niall turned serious again “I can see it on your face.”

 

Harry nodded, his mouth turning up into a slow grin, his dimples deepening in his cheeks “I'd do anything for you, Niall.”

 

Niall laughed and leaned forward to kiss Harry's cheek “This is turning into a sappy rom-com now.”

 

Harry shrugged “Well, I'm a big sap so there's more where that came from.”

 

“Come 'ere,” Niall smiled fondly as he wrapped his arms around Harry to bring him into a hug. They hugged each other tight for a long time, their chests pressed together and their hands rubbing up and down each others backs.

 

“I think we have a lot to talk about now. If we're going to give this a go, I mean.” Harry spoke into Niall's neck where he had buried his head.

 

Niall pulled back from their embrace and brought a hand up to cup Harry's cheek. He ran a thumb gently over Harry's cheekbone while staring intently into Harry's eyes. When he leaned forward and gently placed a lingering kiss on Harry's lips, Harry's breath hitched and he closed his eyes, savouring the feeling “I agree. We do have a lot to talk about.”

 

Harry opened his eyes again and moved in close so that he could kiss Niall this time. It was a simple press of the lips but Harry let his lips linger just a few centimetres away from Niall's lips for a moment, teasing a little, before he pulled back all the way and bit his bottom lip “Maybe we could talk tomorrow? Would that be alright with you?”

 

“Fuck,” Niall breathed out “That would be so fucking alright with me.” Then he was lunging forward and all over Harry in two seconds flat. His hands were everywhere, cupping Harry's face, his neck, then running down his arms and up again, around to his back and up to the little hairs at the back of Harry's neck that were too short to go up in the bun “You look so good with your hair up like that. It shows off every inch of your neck. God, I've had dreams about getting my lips onto that neck, marking it up with my tongue and my teeth.”

 

Harry whimpered, his voice coming out sounding whiny “Niall, kiss me. _Please.”_

 

Niall licked over his bottom lip with his tongue, staring at Harry intently “Yeah.” He whispered “Yeah.” Then his lips were on Harry's and one of his strong hands was cupped behind Harry's neck, holding him there so he could ravish his mouth.

 

Harry loved it. He fell completely pliant under Niall's touch and moaned softly the moment Niall's tongue slipped between his lips and brushed over his. It was so good. So hot, so sexy. It had been so long since Harry got to feel any intimacy with someone so to feel it now, with this man he was so in love with, made him feel so alive again.

 

“I knew you'd be a sinful kisser,” Niall panted as he pulled back for a breath “Those lips...” He ran his thumb over Harry's bottom lip, pulling it out a bit until Harry's bottom teeth were showing.

 

“Niall,” Harry panted as he pulled Niall's shirt out from his trousers to get his hands up under and feel Niall's skin against his own “Don't stop. Kiss me. Mark me up. I want you to.”

 

“God, I really want to.” Niall nipped at his neck, right over his pulse point then nuzzled his nose into the soft skin, his hot breath driving Harry mental “Are you sure it's okay? Won't it look bad when you get papped?”

 

“Fuck that,” Harry was breathless now as he ran his fingers up Niall's back, under his shirt. He pressed his fingers into the muscles of Niall's back, letting his nails dig in just enough to be felt but not leave a mark “I don't care. I want everyone to know I'm taken and being treated very, very well.”

 

“My God,” Niall groaned. He pushed Harry onto his back on the couch then parted his legs and slid his own body in between, Harry's legs bracketing Niall's waist. He kissed Harry once on the lips then made his way down over his jaw and to his neck where he wasted no time biting at the skin and running his tongue over it, sucking at the skin to leave a dark mark “Do you have _any_ fucking idea how sexy you are? Jesus Christ it should be illegal to look the way you do.”

 

Harry's nails dug harder into Niall's back, making Niall moan and press his hips down so his crotch pressed against Harry's “Me? What about you? I nearly had a fucking heart attack when I saw you sitting in here with _glasses_ on. Since when do you wear glasses? I didn't think you even had contacts.”

 

“I don't,” Niall's hips are moving slowly now, grinding ever so gently against Harry's. “I barely even need the glasses. They're just for reading. My eyes get a bit tired if I'm looking at numbers all day long. The glasses help. Is that a thing for you?”

 

Harry made an incredulous noise in the back of his throat and brought his hips up in rhythm with Niall's, letting Niall feel his cock as it fattens up in his pants “I never thought it was a thing until I saw you wearing them. Jesus Christ, Niall, I want you to fuck me someday wearing only those glasses.”

 

Niall growled low in his throat and his hips started to move faster against Harry's, his dick hard against Harry's thigh “You're incredible. So fucking incredible. I will, ya know. I'll fuck you so good wearing those glasses but not right now. I want to take my time with you and right now I'm not going to last very long.”

 

“Yeah,” Harry kissed along Niall's jaw and down over his neck “Me either, baby. Can I...?” Harry brought his hands around to the front of Niall's trousers, stopping over the button until Niall told him he could.

 

“Only if I can too?” Niall's own hand went to the button and zipper of Harry's skinny jeans, waiting for the go ahead.

 

They both nodded and both got to work right away, popping buttons and pulling down zippers. Once that was done, Niall pushed himself up so he could get his hands under the waistband of Harry's jeans and pull them down. Harry was doing the same thing, pulling Niall's perfectly fitted trousers down to his knees, and licking his lips when he sees Niall's cock tenting his boxers.

 

Once Niall got Harry's jeans down around his knees, he paused for a moment, his eyes turning darker as he flicked his gaze over Harry's body “You're the sexiest man I've ever seen. Look at you. Look at how tiny those pants are on you. They're sinful.”

 

“Yeah?” Harry bit his lip and looked up at Niall seductively. His fingers were working on the buttons of Niall's shirt, wanting desperately to get his hands on Niall's chest “I'll parade around in front of you wearing them later. Right now I want them _off.”_

 

Niall grinned and clucked his tongue thoughtfully “I think I'd like to see the rest of you first. See what's under the rest of this shirt you're wearing.”

 

Harry laughed loudly, a hand coming up quickly to smack over his own mouth. Niall looked at him quizzically and he blushed a bit at having laughed so loud “Sorry. Louis picked this shirt out. He wanted me to wear a shirt you'd 'have fun taking off' then he told me to only leave two buttons undone. Oh and apparently the flecks of green bring out the green of my eyes.”

 

“It does bring out your eyes. You look fucking sexy in it but why, according to Louis, will I have fun taking it off?” Niall laughed.

 

Harry rolled his eyes “Apparently leaving the top two buttons open leaves enough to the imagination and you'd have fun undoing all the buttons to find out what else is underneath.”

 

“Hmm,” Niall hummed “He's right, of course. It leaves a lot to the imagination and I can't wait to see what's underneath. Do you love this shirt? Would you be upset if you never got to wear it again?”

 

Harry's eyes narrowed as he looked up at Niall “Not really. I have hundreds of shirts. Why?”

 

Niall didn't answer at first. Instead he ran his palms up over Harry's stomach and over his chest until he reached where the last button was done up. Then, he slipped his hands underneath and pulled hard enough to rip the shirt wide open, every button flying off the shirt and falling on the floor or down between the cushions “Because now you can bring this shirt home, sans buttons, and show Louis exactly how much fun I had taking it off.”

 

Harry's eyes were bugging out of his head as he stared up at Niall, his chest heaving from breathing heavily “That...oh my _God_ that was the hottest thing I've ever seen.”

 

Niall winked at Harry then bent down and licked all the way from Harry's belly button up to his throat where he sunk his teeth in and started on a new love bite. Harry was so hard by now, gasping and thrusting his hips up, looking for some friction.

 

When Niall was finished with his neck he kissed Harry sweetly on the lips while dragging a hand down over Harry's chest and abs to hook his fingers under the waistband of Harry's pants. He pulled them down as far as Harry's knees ,allowing Harry's hard, leaking cock to finally break free.

 

“What do you want, H?” Niall asked in between kisses “My hand or my mouth?”

 

Harry groaned into Niall's mouth before breaking away to gasp for air “It's been-it's been so long since I've gotten off so it doesn't matter. I won't last long either way.”

 

“I'll decide then,” Niall grinned widely, then after one last kiss he slid down toward the other end of the couch until his mouth was right over Harry's cock “I choose this.” Then he licked all the way from the head of Harry's cock right down to the base, his eyes never once leaving Harry's.

 

“Fuck,” Harry whined “Please, Niall, please.”

 

“Your cock is...” Niall blew out a breath while working his hand over Harry's cock, using the pre come as lube “It's bloody brilliant! _Christ,_ its perfect, Harry.”

 

“It would look even more perfect in your mouth, Ni.” Harry managed to groan out, making Niall laugh his loud, infectious laugh that Harry liked so much. Harry smiled down at him fondly, wondering how the fuck he was so lucky to find himself here.

 

“That it would, babe, that it would,” Niall said, lowly, then he was dipping his head and taking the head of Harry's cock into his mouth, licking and sucking at it while never breaking eye contact with Harry.

 

“Oh _fuck._ Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Harry moaned “You look so fucking hot.”

 

Niall pulled back for a moment, popping off Harry's cock and licking some pre come off “Put your hands in my hair, babe. Control my head. Take what you need, yeah?”

 

A high pitched noise that Harry's never heard before, came out of his mouth then he ran his fingers through Niall's fluffy, blonde hair and gripped it. Niall opened his mouth wide, waiting for Harry to put his cock back in and he _still_ hadn't broken eye contact with Harry.

 

Harry guided his cock into Niall's mouth and Niall wasted no time closing his lips around it and hollowing his cheeks. The suction felt so good as Harry dragged his cock back out again, he was surprised he didn't come right then and there. He kept going, picking up the pace until he was steadily fucking Niall's mouth. Niall was moaning around his cock, clearly enjoying it. What got Harry though, were his eyes. He never broke eye contact with Harry, not even once, and it was when Niall widened his eyes, making himself look so pure and innocent that Harry lost control a bit and started fucking harder into Niall's mouth. Niall didn't seem to mind though, he was taking it like a champ.

 

“Oh God,” Harry practically sobbed “Oh God I'm gonna come.”

 

Niall managed to nod his head then Harry felt his fingers cup his balls, rolling them between his fingers and then with a long, guttural moan, he was coming hard down Niall's throat. Niall swallowed most of it easily, only a little bit of come slipping out the corner of his mouth. He stayed on Harry's cock until he was finished then licked it clean with his tongue before he pulled off and wiped the come off the corner of his mouth with his index finger.

 

“Wanna taste?” Niall asked with a smirk as he climbed up Harry's body and offered him his finger. Harry smiled cheekily at Niall and opened his mouth, puckering his lips and sucking the come off his finger.

 

“Mmm,” Harry moaned “I think I'd rather taste it off your tongue.”

 

“Oh babe, that can be arranged. That can definitely be arranged.” Niall murmured before bringing his lips down on Harry's and slipping his warm tongue inside his mouth. They kissed lazily for a minute, their tongues brushing together over and over again so Harry can taste his own come.

 

“Now you,” Harry broke away from the kiss “Can you kneel between my legs? I wanna get my hand on you and watch you come all over me.”

 

“Holy _Christ._ How are you even real?” Niall looks down at Harry in awe.

 

“I'm very real. Now get your cock out.” Harry made grabby hands at Niall.

 

Niall laughed and quickly scrambled up onto his knees in between Harry's legs, pushing his pants down to his knees and letting his cock pop out. Harry wasted no time, reaching for his hard, red cock with one of his large hands and quickly spreading the precome up and down the shaft. Niall moaned and bit his lip while his hips began to rock back and forth wanting to fuck up into Harry's hand.

 

“Yeah,” Harry urged him on “Yeah, baby, that's it.”

 

Niall threw his head back and cursed loudly. He had one hand pressed flat against Harry's thigh, his nails digging in and the other hand was gripping the back of the couch.

 

“Come on, baby. Fuck my hand,yeah? Want to see you come. Want to see you come all over me.” Harry urged him on in a low, sexy voice.

 

Niall whimpered as Harry's hand moved faster over his cock, flicking his wrist and rubbing his thumb over the slit over and over again. He was doing everything Niall loved, as if he'd done it to him a hundred times before instead of this being the first time. He was getting close, he was getting so close.

 

“Harry,” Niall's breath was ragged “Fuck, Harry. God. I need-I need-”

 

“What do you need, love? Do you need to come? Gonna come all over me?”Harry's pupils were blown and his voice sounded wrecked and he wasn't even the one who gave the blow job.

 

Niall's hips began to snap forward faster, his breathing becoming laboured, then when Harry slides his other hand over his hip and around to squeeze his arse, he gasps loudly, his hips stutter and he's coming white stripes all over Harry's abs.

 

Harry's breathing fast, too, as his hand works Niall through his orgasm. As soon as Niall is finished he falls forward onto Harry, not giving the slightest fuck that he was laying in his own come. They lay there like that for at least five minutes with Harry running his clean hand through Niall's hair and Niall pressing his lips repeatedly against Harry's chest.

 

“Fuck,” Is the first word that comes out of either of them and it comes from Niall.

 

“Yeah,” Harry snorted “I don't think I have the energy for that right now.”

 

Niall started laughing against Harry's chest then lifted his head to look into Harry's eyes “I love you, you cheeky little twat. I fucking love you.”

 

Harry laughed too, then, his green eyes alive and full of so many emotions. Happiness, bliss, cheekiness, and even still a bit of lust as they were still coming down from their orgasms.

 

Niall thought it was the most beautiful sight he's ever seen.

 

 ~~~

 

Half an hour later, their clothes were picked up from the floor and brought upstairs to Niall's bedroom and they had had a quick shower to wash the sweat and come away from their bodies. Now they were cuddled together in Niall's bed, Harry completely naked because apparently he wants to kill Niall, and Niall in a pair of white boxer briefs. The telly was turned on low and the duvet was pulled up to Harry's shoulder as he lay pressed into Niall's side with his head on Niall's chest.

 

“Tired?” Niall softly asked Harry when Harry stifled a yawn.

 

“A bit,” Harry answered “Mostly just relaxed. Not really ready to sleep yet. It's only half nine right?”

 

“Mmhmm,” Niall hums into Harry's hair, planting a kiss to his forehead while his fingers gently comb through the long curls “Did you eat dinner before you came over? I didn't. I could use some food. Do you want anything?”

 

“God, yeah, I'm starving,” Harry groaned into Niall's chest, making Niall laugh.

 

“It's too late to cook. I'll order something in. We can order somewhere with healthy choices. I know you eat healthy most of the time.” Niall offered.

 

“Most of the time being the key words in that sentence,” Harry lifted his head to smile at Niall “Right now I want carbs. I want a huge helping of lasagna, that's what I want.”

 

Niall leaned forward to press a hard kiss to Harry's lips “I swear I've never been this big of a sap in me entire life but here I am thinking everything you say and do is the cutest thing I've ever seen.”

 

Harry laughed his loud, bark of a laugh and threw his head back onto the pillow next to Niall's “You love me. That's why. I could go roll around naked in pig shit and you'd still let me into your bed.”

 

“Please don't test that theory. Please God never test that theory.” Niall's face screwed up in disgust, only sending Harry into another fit of loud laughter. “I love your laugh. When you laugh loud like that. Without inhibition. I want you to always laugh like that. I want to always make you laugh like that.”

 

“You will,” Harry nods confidently “I've never been fond of that laugh though. It would come out when I first broke onto the music scene during interviews and I hated the way I sounded when I watched them back. So when I found something really funny and I'd laugh like that, I'd cover my mouth with my hand.”

 

“Please don't do that anymore. At least not when you're with me. I want to always hear you, whether you're happy or sad okay? I love you.”Niall told Harry, then pressed a kiss to his shoulder and reached over to his bedside table to grab his phone “There's an Italian place ten minutes from here. Me and Willie order from there sometimes. I'll order online. It shouldn't take too long this time of night.”

 

Harry nodded his head, the dimpled smile never leaving his face as he watched Niall scroll over the screen on his phone, looking at the menu. An idea popped into his head and he immediately sat up and climbed out of the bed “I'll be right back.”

 

“What?” Niall looked flustered “Where are you going? You're naked!”

 

“So?” Harry shrugged “There's nobody here but you and me. I'm just running downstairs for a minute. Be right back.”

 

He really was right back. He was only gone a minute, having run downstairs to Niall's office to grab what he needed and ran back up again. When he entered Niall's bedroom again, Niall was still sitting with his back against the headboard and placing the order on his phone.

 

“Here,” Harry climbed back into bed next to Niall and held out the item in his hand.

 

“You cheeky little-” Niall burst out laughing as he took his glasses from Harry's hand. “My glasses. Oh my God.”

 

“You should probably get used to wearing them. I need to see this more often.” Harry gestured toward Niall as he put his glasses on.

 

“Honestly...how could I _not_ fall in love with you? I never stood a chance.” Niall shook his head fondly.

 

“Neither did I baby,” Harry murmured as he slid a hand behind Niall's neck and pulled him into a hot kiss. Harry couldn't get enough of Niall's tongue in his mouth or his hands all over his body. They only broke apart to give themselves a chance to breathe and because a delivery man would be showing up soon with their food. It'd be no good for Niall to answer the door with a boner.

 

They lay in bed together watching a sports program while they waited for their food. When it came, Niall got dressed to answer the door and Harry reluctantly pulled on his jeans to go downstairs and eat. Harry had pouted until Niall pointed out the food would be hot and dropping some on his dick would probably scar him for life. Literally and figuratively

 

They ate silently for a few minutes then Niall slid a hand over Harry's and looked over at him “Could I ask you something H? It might be a bit awkward and if you don't want to answer just tell me to fuck off-”

 

“Niall, what's the question?” Harry smiled encouragingly at him.

 

“I just wondered...now that we've said how we feel about each other and got each other off on me couch,” Harry snorted “Do you feel okay? I mean, do you feel guilty about it? Because I don't want that for you. If you need to slow things down or-”

 

“No,” Harry cuts him off, shaking his head “I feel nothing but happy and extremely satisfied” He winked at Niall “I don't think I would have felt guilty about this even if I didn't learn Jack cheated on me. I was becoming ready to move on. That's what that day was about, when I started going through his things. It was time. I was ready.”

 

“Okay,” Niall smiled and thumbed one of Harry's dimples, making Harry smile wider “Just talk to me if you ever do, okay? Let me help you. We can still talk about Jack. He was an important part of your life for a long time. I don't expect you to ignore that.”

 

“I know,” Harry swallowed thickly “I probably will mention him sometimes, for some reason or other but it hurt me to find out what he was doing behind my back and right now what I feel for him is nothing good. Maybe someday I'll forgive him, but not right now.”

 

“I'm sorry,” Niall's expression is pained “Part of me wishes you'd never found out about it. The other part of me knows you had a right to know. You just- you didn't deserve that. You're honestly the sweetest person I've ever met and I can't wrap my brain around how someone could do that to you. I'll never understand it.”

 

“Thank you,” Harry said softly, then leaned over to kiss Niall's cheek “While we're on this topic, you should know I don't expect you to never talk about Aiden either. You loved him once. I'm sure part of you always will and I'm completely okay with that. I know that I have you now and I know you well enough to know you'd never tell me you loved me if I didn't have all of you. So never feel like you can't talk about him, okay?”

 

“You do ya know. Have all of me. You're right, a part of me will always love Aiden but it's a part of me that's tucked away and in the past. You're my future, at least I hope you are and you will never have anything less than one hundred percent of me.” Niall assured Harry.

 

“Good. Now that that's out of the way, I think we should finish our food. I quite enjoy your bed and really want to get back to it.” Harry said with a smile.

 

“Thank God tomorrow is Saturday,” Niall sighed “I doubt I'd be able to get up for work and leave you alone in my bed.”

 

Harry smiled his biggest smile at Niall then turned back to his plate to finish his food. When they were done and brushed their teeth, they climbed back into Niall's bed and fell asleep within five minutes, tucked together in each others arms.

 

 ~~~

 

When Niall woke up the next morning, the first thing he saw when he opened his eyes was Harry walking from the en suite back to the bed in nothing but those tight black boxer briefs. He briefly wondered if he was still sleeping and this was all a wet dream, but then he remembered the night before and a smile slowly unfurled on his lips. “I thought you preferred to walk around naked?”

 

“Oh! You're awake,” Harry sat down on the bed and brushed a hand down Niall's arm “I do prefer to be naked. Couldn't really do that walking down the street could I?”

 

“You went out?” Niall furrowed his brows in confusion as he rolled over on his back, stretching with his arms over his head “What time is it?”

 

“It's ten and yes I went out. You have no food. Well, not breakfast food anyway. So I walked the few blocks to Waitrose and got us some croissants and fresh fruits and I picked you up some milk and eggs while I was at it. Wanted to do something nice for you and get you breakfast.” Harry said, shrugging. His fingers were now making their way up Niall's stomach and to his chest where he curled his fingers in the chest hair there.

 

“Thank you,” Niall smiled sleepily at Harry “Was it okay? You didn't get mobbed or anything did you?”

 

“Nah, it happens more when there's a lot of people around. Someone will recognize me and come over, then people notice that and it all snowballs from there. Or a pap sees me leaving my house and the picture is uploaded online immediately and everyone in the general area knows I'm out and about so people tend to look around for me in that case. As far as anyone knows, I have no reason to be in this area so nobody even looked twice at me.” Harry explained.

 

“That's good,” Niall yawned “Don't want you getting hurt by a mob of people. Is the food in the kitchen?”

 

“Yeah,” Harry nodded “I came up to use the toilet and get undressed then I was going to make tea and bring everything here. The kettle should be boiled by now.”

 

“Sounds good,” Niall yawned again “D'you mind bringing it up here so I can use the toilet and wake up a bit?”

 

“Yeah, go on,” Harry smacked Niall in the arse as he stood up from the bed and stretched his arms over his head, then smirked when Niall let out a squeal “I'll be right back.”

 

Harry ran downstairs and put all the food on a tray Niall had in the cupboard, including two glasses of juice and two cups of tea. When he got back upstairs Niall was just coming out of the en suite looking more awake and motioning for Harry to lay the tray on the bed. He did and as soon as he stood back up to his full height he had a pile of Niall in his arms, kissing him fiercely. Harry wrapped his arms around Niall and sighed into the kiss, licking into Niall's mouth to meet his tongue. When Niall's hands moved down Harry's back and under his boxer briefs to cup his bare arse, he moaned loudly and gripped on to Niall tighter, his tongue speeding up as he kissed Niall harder.

 

“A very good morning to you,” Niall giggled when he pulled away from Harry “I told you you were hot in those little pants of yours.”

 

“Yeah?” Harry was breathing hard “Well you've got me half hard now so you better be planning on finishing what you started.”

 

There was a fire in Niall's eyes that told him he was definitely planning on it “I have a lot I want to do to you, but after we eat. We have all day together right? Or do you need to work?”

 

“I don't know,” Harry shrugged “I'm not gonna lie, I'm behind on my recording because I was miserable without you and had no interest in singing. I was going to ask you if you wanted to come with me to the studio if I go? I texted my producer to see if he's free, if he is and his team is free then we could probably go later in the afternoon or after dinner.”

 

“Am I allowed to go?” Niall looked surprised.

 

“What do you mean are you allowed?” Harry frowned “You're my...well we haven't talked about what we are yet but you're very important to me and I love you so, yeah, you're allowed.”

 

“Oh. I was just thinking maybe your label wouldn't want anybody hearing your songs or something.” Niall shrugged.

 

“They don't want anything leaked, no, but I trust you. I know you're not going to record me on your phone and sell it to the Daily Mail or something.” Harry scoffed.

 

“No,” Niall fondly brushed a thumb over Harry's cheek “I would never do anything like that to you. If anything I'd do everything I could to protect you and your privacy. I know it must be important to you considering how well known you are around the world.”

 

“Yeah. Privacy,” Harry sighed, heavily “That's probably something we should talk about before we go any further. Maybe we can talk about it while we eat breakfast?”

 

“Sure,” Niall nodded and pecked Harry's lips once more, quickly. Then both men climbed into the bed with the tray between them so they could both access everything.

 

“So,” Harry began after he swallowed a bite of croissant “We're going to give this a go, right? A relationship I mean.”

 

“That's what I want more than anything,” Niall answered softly “As long as that's what you want too, then yeah, I'd like for us to be a couple.”

 

“That is what I want. So much.” Harry nodded vigorously “I just feel like you need to be aware of what you're getting into first.”

 

“What I'm getting into?” Niall looked confused for a moment before understanding dawned on his face “You mean because of the paps?”

 

“Yeah. Once you're seen with me it'll only be a matter of time before they figure out who you are. Once they do, you won't have the same privacy in your life you do now. Once they know your name they'll figure out where you live and you won't be able to go to Tesco for a bottle of milk without your picture ending up online. It probably won't be as bad as it is with me. There won't be twenty paps pushing each other trying to get your picture but you could get one or two at a time that will walk up beside you and ask you questions about me or at the very least they'll stand at a distance and just take pictures of you as you go about your day. They'll want to catch you doing something they can twist around and make it scandalous. That's how they sell magazines and such.”

 

Niall shrugged and popped a couple of grapes in his mouth “I think I get how it works. I've seen those entertainment shows enough times. They always show videos of celebrities getting followed and swarmed by paps and fans. I assume they'll probably also try and catch you in 'compromising' positions and say you're cheating on me and vice versa.”

 

“Oh yeah, that'll happen. You could be out for a night at a club with Willie and simply lean close to him to talk because it's so loud and the next day the Daily Mail will say you're having a torrid affair behind my back with a mystery man.”Harry snorted.

 

“Oh my God,”Niall cackled “I hope they do say that. He's me first cousin! Mum would laugh for days.”

 

“It doesn't bother you?” Harry smiled tentatively “Are you sure? You have to be sure because even Jack, who I started dating before I became famous, had a couple of instances where he got so mad I thought he might leave me. The tabloids had him convinced I was sleeping with a Burberry model because my picture was taken with him a lot for awhile. I met him at a show I attended because I love Burberry and we became friends through Nick Grimshaw. Jack and I had other friends in our lives besides the ones we had together and he never minded Nick one bit but when I became friends with Paul and we would all go out in a group...well he didn't like it much.”

 

“You're friends with Nick Grimshaw?” Niall raised an eyebrow “I listen to the Breakfast Show on me way to work every morning. He's all over the place when he's telling stories. For like three weeks I thought he had a pet pig until I realized it's his dogs name.”

 

Harry spluttered and spit out a piece of cantaloupe as he laughed at Niall “Is that what you got out of everything I told you? That I'm friends with Nick? Which you did know, by the way. Remember I told you he's been passed out on my billiards table before?”

 

“Sorry, sorry. I tend to go off topic sometimes,” Niall grinned “I heard everything you said, I just don't care. You can be friends with whoever you want. I hope they'll even become my friends too because I love you and want to be involved in your life. If we trust each other and don't give each other reasons not to trust, then I don't see a problem.”

 

“God, are you sure?” Harry's face lit up “You're really sure?”

 

“I am. I'm not saying I won't get frustrated sometimes but that's something you and I will handle in private, together. I'm not going to let those frustrations out in the middle of the street in front of some paps.” Niall assured Harry.

 

“Okay,” Harry teared up “Okay. You're-you're just incredible. I don't even know what else to say except I love you.”

 

“I love you is enough. That's all you ever need to say. I love you, too, H. We'll be good, yeah? We're in this together. You being famous won't scare me away. Never.” Niall removed the tray from the bed and crawled on top of Harry “Never, ever, ever.”

 

“Are you going to finish what you started now?” Harry raised an eyebrow.

 

Niall didn't answer, just grinned down at Harry before bringing their lips together in a heated kiss.

 

 ~~~

 

 

They spent the next several hours in Niall's bed, mostly. There was a lot of snogging going on, as well as Niall giving Harry another blow job. When they got in the shower, Harry returned the favour and Niall didn't think he was going to survive the first time Harry wrapped his lips around his cock. He looked absolutely sinful on his knees in the shower with his long hair pushed back over his head and the water trickling down over his muscular torso while his plump, pink lips devoured Niall's cock. He left Niall shaking and breathless, whimpering against the shower wall as he came down from his orgasm.

 

Around four, they got dressed to head to the studio after Liam texted Harry that he could meet him at five. Niall gave Harry a fresh pair of boxers to wear and actually looked gleeful when they fit him just as tight as his own had. Harry laughed at him and shook his head but Niall saw the slight blush on his face. He was quickly learning that Harry seemed to love being complimented and taken care of, which was fine by Niall since he really wanted to do it.

 

Niall offered to drive so they took his car and they reached the studio in just under thirty minutes. Harry grabbed Niall's hand as soon as they were out of the car and led him inside the building, the security guards simply nodding at them as they passed. Once they reached the actual studio where they recorded, Harry opened the door to find Liam working on a song with one of the writers Harry liked to work with.

 

“Harry!” Liam exclaimed as he came in “We can't get this song right. It's that song called 'Broken' that you wrote but you kept saying you didn't like some of the guitar parts, especially during the bridge. We're not doing any better, I'm afraid. Its like-it's like it just doesn't _fit_ the lyrics. Something's missing.”

 

“Hmm,” Harry looked thoughtful “Lets run through it. I'll sing, you play, and maybe Jon will have something for us? I mean, you haven't heard it with my voice yet right Jon?”

 

“No. Today's my first time hearing it at all. We were going to start it but then we took a break from recording for a bit.” Jon seemed to wince at that.

 

“It's alright,” Harry said “Let's do a run through right now.”

 

They got to it right away, not even realizing they hadn't even said hello to each other or got introduced to Niall. Niall didn't mind, he quietly sat on one of the couches with another lad he learned was an engineer named Ryan and watched the experts at work.

 

What was supposed to be one run through ended up turning into a lot more and half an hour later all three men were frustrated because they felt like it was _right there_ but they just couldn't get it.

 

“Violins,” Niall blurts out all of a sudden, not even realizing he did so until the room went silent and everyone turned to stare at him.

 

“Huh?” Liam frowned, only now realizing there was another person in the room.

 

“Violins,” Niall shrugged “You said you wanted the music to be haunting, to match the lyrics. The guitar parts are too fast. Slow them down, change the chords around a bit and add violins. Live violins would be even better. Like, if you had the violin section of an orchestra come in and record their part it would sound so powerful and Harry's got a powerful voice. It'd work.”

 

The room was silent again after Niall finished and Jon was actually gaping at Niall now. Niall's eyes moved from Harry, to Liam, to Jon and then back again and when still nobody spoke he began to think he fucked up by talking at all let alone offering his opinion. Until...

 

“Who the _fuck_ is this guy and why haven't I worked with him before?” Jon's voice was loud as it reverberated around the room “Seriously? Who is this guy? Everything he just said is bloody brilliant. Why didn't we think of it ourselves Liam?”

 

“Yeah,” Liam was nodding his head slowly at first, then picked up speed as the wheels kept turning in his head “What chords were you thinking needed to be changed?”

 

Niall stood up and walked over to the group of three and held his hand out, silently asking if he could borrow Liam's guitar. Liam handed it over and after a few warm up strums, Niall began to play what he heard but changing it up a bit.

 

“Yes!!” Jon jumped up and nearly toppled over the little table in front of him “Yes! Who _are_ you? We have to use this.”

 

“Yeah,” Liam's eyes were wide “Harry?”

 

“Oh God, I'm so sorry,” Harry said when he snapped out of it. He was just as shocked as the other two when Niall offered his opinion then started playing a song on guitar he only just heard “This is my boyfriend, Niall Horan. Niall, this is Liam Payne and Jon Church. I worked with them on my last album and we're working on this one together as well.”

 

“Good to meet ya lads,” Niall stopped strumming the guitar to shake their hands.

 

“You too, obviously. Do you write? Are you a producer? I didn't even know you had a boyfriend Harry.” Liam looked back and forth between Harry and Niall.

 

Niall laughed, his eyes full of humour “I'm neither. I'm CFO for Chelsea Football Club.”

 

“ _What?”_ Jon's voice went up an octave “You're- Liam he's- my God mate, I think you're in the wrong career.”

 

“Nah,” Niall chuckled “I love music but it's just for fun, messing around. I've played guitar since I was ten but that's it. Really I just enjoy listening to great music.”

 

“Well you've got a great ear. We're going to try out what you suggested. It's brilliant. I think it'll be amazing.” Liam said “Right now we should probably get to work on songs that are ready to go though. Harry, you ready to get in the booth?”

 

“Yeah, let's do this,” Harry said enthusiastically, then he kissed Niall a couple of times and headed into the booth to, hopefully, finish the vocals for a song they'd already started.

 

 ~~~

 

 

They stayed at the recording studio until ten at night then finally decided to call it a night after making some good progress. While Harry was in the booth and couldn't hear what the others were saying unless they pressed the button to allow him to, he knew Liam and Jon kept turning to Niall and asking his opinion on things and it made Harry's heart swell to the point he thought it was going to burst out of his chest. Niall had talent and even if he wanted nothing to do with the music business, he could still help Harry. Harry could talk to him about things and Niall would understand what he was talking about. It's something Harry never had with Jack. Jack learned things about music over the years but he didn't play an instrument and he didn't get involved much as it wasn't a big interest for him. Now that Harry had Niall, though, he found he quite liked being with someone who he could talk about his passion with.

 

“I can feel you staring at me,” Niall's voice sounded in the quiet car as they were driving back to Niall's again for the night.

 

“You're very nice to look at,” Harry grinned, his eyes still not leaving Niall's profile in the dark car.

 

“Am I?” Niall asked, his eyes never leaving the road in front of him. As they passed by a streetlight, Harry could see Niall biting the inside of his cheek, like he was trying to keep a smile off his face.

 

“Yeah. You really are,” Harry said seriously “You made me really happy tonight. It meant a lot to me to see you so interested in my music, giving your opinions to Liam and Jon when they asked. Liam pulled me aside while you were in the toilet you know. He hugged me and told me he was very happy to see _me_ happy again and made me promise to bring you to the studio again.”

 

A smile did break out on Niall's face then “Liam's a good lad. We talked a bit about music and found out we have a lot in common in that department. I'm not obsessed with Jay-Z like he is but to each his own I suppose.”

 

“Oh God,”Harry groaned “When I played the Barclay Centre a couple years ago, Liam was with me. We were working on some songs while on tour and after the show, Jay-Z and Beyonce came back to chat with me for a bit...Liam almost didn't survive it.”

 

“Oh,” Niall raised an eyebrow and sat up straighter in his seat “Jay-Z and Beyonce came by for a chat did they? My my my.”

 

“Oh shut up,” Harry huffed “It's not like we're friends or something. He's part owner of the basketball team that plays there. He may even be part owner of the Barclay Centre, I'm not sure, anyway they attend most major events there. They merely came back to say hello and tell me they enjoyed the show.”

 

“You mean he doesn't want you on his next track?” Niall was struggling not to giggle “Jay-Z featuring Kanye West, Nicki Minaj and Harry Styles.”

 

“Heeeeeyyyyy,” Harry pouted “I could totally be a mother fucking monster thank you very much.”

 

“Alright then. I'll look forward to that track. Let me know when it comes out.” Niall nodded and tried to look serious. It lasted all of thirty seconds before the both of them were laughing hysterically at the thought of Harry rapping with Jay-Z.

 

When they arrived at Niall's ten minutes later, the telly was on in the living room so they walked in to find Willie watching Netflix and stuffing his face with crisps. He eyed Harry for a moment while he chewed what was in his mouth, then he swallowed and pressed pause on the remote.

 

“So...it looks like I don't have to break anyone's face then.” Willie stated.

 

“If you try I'll take you out like I did when we were younger. Don't think I wont” Niall warned his cousin.

 

Willie held up his hands in surrender, a small smile appearing on his face “Hey, if you're happy then I'm happy and me and Harry will have no problems.”

 

“Everything's sorted Willie. I'm glad you look after Niall though. Maybe we can look after him together now.” Harry smiled at Niall's cousin.

 

“I'm gonna punch you both in the face. I don't need anyone to look after me. I can look after meself.” Niall huffed, his arms folded across his chest.

 

Harry wrapped his arms around Niall from the side and rested his chin on Niall's shoulder, effectively putting his face right in Niall's face “You wouldn't. You love my face.”

 

Niall sighed loudly and dramatically while rolling his eyes “I _suppose_ I do.”

 

“Oh my God,” Willie groaned and threw his head back against the couch “You're sickening already and it's been like, a day. Can you at least warn me if you're going upstairs to suck each others cocks so I can stay down here and hopefully not hear anything?”

 

“No. No I will not warn you.” Niall glared at Willie “This is my house which you live in rent free so I'll suck Harry's cock whenever and wherever I want. I'll do it right here, right now if I want to.”

 

“Ummmm,” Harry looked between Niall and his cousin nervously “Do I get a say in this? I'm not exactly into people watching me during sex.”

 

“Well at least there won't be a sex tape around that I could accidentally come across on the internet.” Willie smirked.

 

“Sometimes I wonder why I offered to let you live with me when you came over from Ireland.” Niall glared at his cousin again, then took Harry's hand in his own “Come on, Harry. We're going upstairs to my bedroom and we'll be doing whatever the hell we want to do.”

 

“Goodnight Willie!” Harry managed to call over his shoulder as Niall dragged him toward the stairs and up to his bedroom. When they got in and Niall closed and locked the door behind him, he spun Harry around, pressing his back up against the door and pressed their lips together in a hard, frantic, kiss.

 

“God,” Niall whispered when they broke away from the kiss “I've been wanting to do that for hours. Also, thanks to Willie, I really want to suck your cock.”

 

Harry laughed loudly, his head tipping back and hitting lightly against the door “Only because of Willie? You wouldn't want to otherwise?”

 

Niall leaned in to mouth at Harry's neck, his teeth gently scraping against Harry's skin and making him shiver. Harry's hands slid up under Niall's shirt as his breathing picked up a bit and he let out a few soft moans at Niall's attention “No,” Niall's lips brushed against Harry's skin when he finally answered “I think I'll always want to suck your cock, just, him talking about it makes me really, really want to do it, right now.”

 

“Then you should do it,” Harry sounded a bit breathless “You really, really should do it.”

 

“Oh I plan on it babe,” Niall murmured against Harry's neck then he stepped back and made to get on his knees in front of Harry but Harry stopped him, pulling him back up again “What? Did you change your mind?”

 

“No,” Harry bit his lip, chewing on it nervously “I just- could we do it on the bed? Want you to finger me while you do it. Would you? Please? It's been so long.”

 

“Fuck, H. Of course I will. Whatever you want, babe. Always.” Niall promised “Come on, lets get you on the bed so I can take care of you.”

 

Harry nodded and walked over to the bed behind Niall. He already had the button on his jeans open and was pushing his jeans down his long legs when Niall turned around again. His already half hard cock twitched at the intensity in Niall's eyes

 

“Been thinking about you doing this for awhile now,” Harry spoke quietly as he stepped out of his jeans and pulled the jumper Niall let him borrow over his head “I-I got myself off just thinking about it once. It was so good but I wouldn't let myself go there again because I felt so guilty...”

 

“Shhh,” Niall placed a finger over his lips then guided him back on the bed, making sure his head was resting comfortably on the pillows “You never have to feel guilty ever again. You weren't doing anything wrong. Now let me take care of you yeah? Let me show you.”

 

Harry nodded his head against the pillows then watched with lust in his eyes as Niall removed his clothes then climbed on the bed next to Harry. He watched with bated breath as Niall's hands ran up his calves, then his thighs, then to the waistband of his boxers.

 

“Gotta get these off, babe. As much as I love the way they hug your thighs and arse...they've gotta come off.” Niall hooked his fingers under the waistband and pulled them down slowly until they were all the way off Harry's legs and Harry was laying there completely naked with his cock half hard “You have no idea how gorgeous you are, do ya babe?”

 

Harry's breath caught in his throat as he tried to answer “I-I know how gorgeous I _feel_ when you look at me.”

 

Niall climbed on top of Harry, straddling him as he reached for the lube in the bedside table. Once he found it, he poured some into the palm of his hand and wrapped it around Harry's half hard cock. He began to stroke him slowly, his other hand pressed flat against the bed holding him up over Harry. He leaned down and kissed Harry, his tongue running over Harry's bottom lip and sliding into Harry's warm mouth to tangle with Harry's own tongue. Harry whimpered into his mouth and gripped onto Niall's back as Niall continued to stroke him into full hardness.

 

“You're incredible,” Niall spoke into Harry's mouth, his teeth grazing over Harry's bottom lip and tugging gently in between his words “So hot, sexy and gorgeous. I'm so lucky to have you. So lucky.”

 

“I'm lucky,” Harry panted against Niall's mouth “I never thought I'd be happy ever again. Never thought I'd love someone again. Never thought I'd...” Harry swallowed “Never thought I'd have someone to take care of me the way I like.”

 

“Yeah?” Niall moved slightly, causing both men to moan slightly as Niall's hard cock brushed against Harry's thigh “You like to be taken care of? How?”

 

Harry blushed furiously and Niall grinned at how cute he was “I just-I've always liked being taken care of. Someone taking charge. It's why I'm a bottom. I like getting fucked and then being spooned after. I like being the 'woman' in a relationship for lack of a better word to explain it. It's kind of stupid though because I am a lads lad a lot of the time. Sometimes I just like to be taken care of.””

 

“That's good,” Niall hovered over Harry “Because I like being the big spoon and I want to take care of you.” Niall started to move down Harry's body, his hand leaving Harry's cock “Open your legs for me, H.”

 

Harry did what Niall asked and Niall moved in between Harry's legs where he could suck his cock and finger him easily. Niall ran his finger down Harry's cock then brought it back to his mouth and sucked “Mmm. Vanilla flavoured lube. My favourite.”

 

Harry pressed his head back into the pillow and cackled “I _knew_ I could smell vanilla. I thought it was your fabric softener or something.”

 

“Do they make vanilla scented fabric softener?” Niall looked confused, his fingers stilling just as they were about to reach Harry's hole.

 

“Does it matter right now?” Harry's voice sounded a bit hysterical “I'm hard and so turned on and I want to fucking come.”

 

“Yes M'lady,” Niall smirked at Harry and as Harry went to snort out a laugh, Niall slipped a finger into his hole and the laugh turned into a groan “That shut you up, huh?”

 

“I'm so going to do this to you one day. Tease you and drag it out.” Harry glared at Niall.

 

Niall cooed at him and slipped his finger out so he could briefly move back up and kiss Harry “I'm sorry, babe. You're just so cute when I tease you. I love you, yeah? I promise I'm gonna show you just how much.”

 

“Love you too, baby,” Harry murmured softly.

 

Niall got to work again, slipping his finger back inside Harry and moving it around some. He was being extra gentle with him because it had been awhile and he wanted to make sure it was good for Harry, not painful or uncomfortable.

 

When he felt Harry was ready for a second finger, he slowly slipped it in while wrapping his lips around the head of Harry's cock at the same time. He looked up at Harry as he worked, the look on his gorgeous face and the moans coming out of his mouth making him moan around Harry's cock.

 

“Oh God, Oh God,” Harry babbled “It-it feels so good, Niall. Don't stop baby, don't stop.”

 

Niall pulled off Harry's cock to catch a breath “Jesus Christ, H, you're so fucking hot. Fuck.”

 

Harry whimpered in response and pushed his hips down, trying to fuck himself on Niall's fingers “More Niall, I need more.”

 

“Yeah, yeah, okay babe. I got you.” Niall said as he pushed a third finger inside of Harry. He wrapped his lips around Harry's cock again and wasted no time bobbing his head up and down. Harry's hips began to push harder against Niall's fingers so he pushed them a bit harder inside of Harry and curled them until Harry cried out.

 

“Oh my _God,_ Niall. Harder. Fuck, _please_ harder.” Harry moaned out, his voice sounding totally wrecked.

 

Niall moved his fingers faster, pushing them in and out of Harry, fucking him with them and repeatedly hitting his spot. He continued to suck Harry off as well, alternating between running his tongue along the vein of Harry's cock and wrapping his lips around it and bobbing up and down. Harry's breathing picked up and was becoming ragged and Niall knew he was getting close.

 

“Niall, fuck, oh fuck.” Harry practically sobbed “It's so good, so good.”

 

Niall pulled off Harry's cock again, panting hard “That's it, H. Come for me yeah? Want you to come all over yourself so I can lick it up and see how good you taste.”.

 

A loud keening noise left Harry's mouth and his back arched up off the bed as he began to come from Niall's words. Niall kept moving his fingers inside of him, working him through his orgasm until the last drop of come fell on Harry's abs and he was left panting, chest heaving up and down.

 

Niall gently removed his fingers from Harry and climbed up further in between Harry's legs. He gripped Harry's hips with his hands and bent his head, waiting for Harry to open his eyes before he did anything.

 

When Harry's eyes finally did open and Niall got a little flash of the beautiful green colour of his eyes looking down at him, he held Harry's gaze and stuck his tongue out, licking slowly over the come on his abs.

 

“Oh my God,” Harry whimpered “That's-that's- you're obscene. You're gonna kill me.”

 

Niall didn't respond, just kept licking up the come on Harry's abs while reaching down to grab his own cock with one of his hands. He was still painfully hard from watching Harry get off and getting desperate for his own release.

 

Harry noticed what he was doing and began to wriggle around on the bed making grabby hands at Niall and motioning for him to move up to lay beside him.

 

Niall did what Harry wanted and as soon as his head hit the pillow next to Harry's, Harry's lips were on his, kissing him forcefully, his tongue licking in and tasting his own come on Niall's tongue. Harry moaned into Niall's mouth and kept kissing him while he pushed Niall's hand off his own cock to replace it with his own. He began to jerk Niall off, his hand moving rapidly over Niall's cock. Niall whimpered into Harry's mouth and bucked his hips up a little, rocking into Harry's large hand.

 

“I'm coming, I'm coming,” Niall panted against Harry's lips when he felt the familiar burn in his gut.

 

“Yeah,” Harry brushed his lips against the corner of Niall's mouth “Fuck, Niall, you're so hot. Come for me, baby. Come on.”

 

With a loud gasp against Harry's cheek, Niall came fast and hard, all over Harry's hand and his hip that Niall was pressed up against. Harry kissed him through it, Niall whimpering at every touch of Harry's tongue against his own.

 

When they both finally come down a few minutes later, Harry rests his forehead against Niall's and pecks his lips a few times “That was so good. Why are you so good to me?”

 

“Um,” Niall snorted ridiculously “Have you happened to look at yourself naked lately? It's not exactly a hardship.”

 

“Shut up,” Harry smiled slightly and pinched his side lightly “Yeah we clearly have some amazing fucking chemistry between us physically but that's not the only way you take care of me. I've been-” Harry paused a moment “I've been lonely and broken for so long but with just one look from you makes me feel alive again, your touch makes me feel safe. I feel loved again. I-I feel-”

 

“Hey,” Niall sat up straighter and grabbed Harry's face between his two hands when the tears started to fall silently down his cheeks “What's this? What's wrong, H?”

 

“I don't want you to think I'm a terrible person.” Harry whispered, the pain and confusion in his eyes nearly taking Niall's breath away.

 

“I could never think that, Harry. If I'm being honest, you could probably kill somebody and I wouldn't hate you.” Niall admitted.

 

“Niall, you-you make me feel like I've never felt before. Nobody has ever made me feel as loved as you do.” Harry whispered.

 

Niall understood immediately and wasted no time scooping Harry up into his arms and holding him tight. Come was drying on them both and Niall's fingers were still full of lube but it didn't matter. Only Harry mattered.

 

“You don't have to feel guilty, Harry, okay? Don't feel guilty for how you feel. Don't feel guilty for how _I_ make you feel. It doesn't diminish your relationship with Jack. It doesn't. You're not a horrible person. You're in love and you love me differently than you loved Jack. It doesn't make the way you loved him any less important than how you love me. It's just different.” Niall assured him.

 

“Did-did you go through this too?” Harry pulled back and asked with wide eyes.

 

“You're the first person I've loved since Aiden died,” Niall told him “And I could already tell months ago that the love I feel for you is much more intense than the love I felt for Aiden. I struggled with that a bit but I got through it. I realized exactly what I just told you, every love is different. The way I feel for you doesn't mean I didn't love Aiden.”

 

“Okay,” Harry swallowed thickly then fixed a lopsided grin on Niall “Now that I've turned our...sexual encounter into something dramatic-”

 

“Sexual encounter?” Niall cackled “You're such a dork! I love it!”

 

“Shut upppppp,” Harry whined, then his nose crinkled up in disgust when he realized he still had come all over him “I think we should probably go shower.”

 

“Yeah, I think that's probably a good idea,” Niall agreed.

 

After a long, hot shower filled with a lot of snogging, the two men got back into Niall's freshly changed bed and watched one of Harry's romantic comedies. Niall rolled his eyes when Harry started the film but in reality, he had Harry in his arms and he didn't stop smiling the whole time.

 

 

 ~~~

 

The next day was a Sunday and Niall informed Harry that he and Willie usually meet their mates in the park for a game of Football every Sunday. He of course invited Harry to go and Harry was reluctant at first because if the paps saw him he was afraid he'd ruin the match for Niall and his mates. They all had busy lives and Sunday is when they all got together to catch up and play their favourite sport and Harry didn't want to ruin that for him. Niall wasn't having any of it though, and convinced Harry to go with him, telling him his mates were all very laid back and wouldn't care of some fans or paps showed up to take Harry's picture.

 

In the end, Harry was really glad he went. It was early Spring and still a bit cool outside so he wore a plain black hoodie, leaving the hood up to hide his hair and nobody recognized him. At least nobody came asking for pics or autographs. The paps could have still been out, taking pictures of him from far away. He didn't care though, as long as Niall's time with his friends wasn't interrupted.

 

Another reason he was glad he went was Niall's friends. They all accepted him right away and made him feel like just another one of the lads. He was included in all their teasing and jokes and at one point, Niall's best mate Sean and one of Niall's co-workers, Dylan started running around the large, open, grassy area where they were playing, belting out one of Harry's biggest hits of a couple years ago. Harry had sat on the sidelines, cackling with laughter as the pair strutted around singing at the top of their lungs in very terrible singing voices. It was brilliant and Harry left the park that day with Niall and a whole list of new numbers programmed into his phone.

 

Unfortunately after an early dinner, Harry went home to his own house since Niall had work in the morning and he was heading to the recording studio quite early to continue working on his new album. They didn't want to be apart but they both knew if they stayed together, neither of them would get any sleep that night.

 

So they stayed at their respective homes, hoping to get together for dinner Monday night. It didn't happen. Niall, at only twenty-seven years old, was one of the youngest CFO's in the country. When the previous CFO retired early due to health reasons, Niall was promoted because he was very smart, had a lot of drive, and _everybody_ loved him. Even the players of the team, who never hang out with office staff, love him. Still, he _is_ young and in his mind that means he has to prove himself so his boss doesn't regret promoting him. That meant working late sometimes and getting things done quick and efficiently.

 

Harry understood of course, and they decided to meet the next night instead. Only, this time it was Harry who got held up late, a song not going the way they wanted and a record company exec pressuring them to stay late until they got it right. It was frustrating but they were able to share brief phone calls and texted back and forth a lot.

 

Still, by the time Friday came around, nothing had worked out for them and Harry hadn't seen Niall in five days. He was beginning to get a bit moody, which was ridiculous and he was well aware he was acting like a love sick fool but he didn't care, he just wanted to kiss Niall and be in his arms.

 

Also, now that Harry had gotten off a bunch of times with Niall after not having sex for so long, he couldn't get enough of it. He was so horny and it didn't help that his boyfriend was extremely hot and the sex between them was mind blowing. They hadn't even gone all the way yet and Harry was still climbing the walls, wanting so badly to get his hands on Niall.

 

So by the time seven on Friday night rolled around and Niall was still at work, Harry decided to take matters into his own hands. He had two goals in mind, to get himself off since he was so horny, but also to entice Niall away from work so he could come to Harry's house and get him off again.

 

He went upstairs to his bedroom and stripped all of his clothes off then lay on his bed playing with his cock until he was hard. It didn't take much. Just thinking about Niall's lips on his, his lips all over his body and the way he looks when he's sucking Harry off , got Harry pretty hard in no time. Once he was hard, he grabbed his box of toys sitting in the bottom drawer of his dresser, a box he hadn't taken out in a very long time, and took out a purple dildo. It was one he bought a couple of weeks before Jack's death and hadn't had a chance to use. He picked this one because he felt too weird using toys with Niall that he had used with Jack. He decided he'd keep the purple dildo but throw out the rest and get new ones.

 

He got to work quickly, lubing up his fingers and opening himself up for the dildo. Once he was three fingers deep and panting, he grabbed the dildo in his clean hand and slowly inserted it in his hole. He began slowly, making sure he took care not to make it painful for himself after not having much action near his arse for a long time. Once he was used to the width of the dildo he began to rock himself slowly back and forth, moaning softly as the toy spread him open. After ten minutes of working himself up he started to fuck himself on the dildo faster. He couldn't stop thinking about Niall and what it would feel like the first time he felt Niall's cock inside him and the thought made him moan loudly and press the toy harder inside of him.

 

By the time he had built up a sweat, he grabbed his phone and made sure to take a bunch of pictures of himself to make sure he had a good angle, then he decided to make a very short, very teasing, thirty second video of himself, just to make sure Niall was _very_ clear about what he was missing, then he sent both to Niall through text and waited for him to reply.

 

It took ten minutes. Niall was probably in a meeting or not near his phone. It worked in Harry's favour though, because by the time his phone started ringing he was bouncing around on the dildo, moaning and cursing as it repeatedly hit his prostate.

 

Once he checked to make sure it was Niall, he answered the phone on speaker and continued riding the dildo, getting oh so close to coming.

 

“Hi, baby. Did you need something?” Harry panted out, a smirk on his face until the dildo hit his prostate again and he moaned loudly.

 

“ _Jesus fucking Christ!”_ Niall's voice came through the speaker an octave higher than usual “Harry! Oh my- holy fucking _fuck.”_

 

“Alright, love? You sound a bit worked up there.?”

 

“Harry,” Niall sounded half hysterical. “Oh _fuck,_ you're still fucking yourself aren't ya? Oh my God, babe, oh my God.”

 

“Yeah,” Harry answered in a breathy voice “I can't get enough. It's so good, Niall, so good but it's not _you._ I need more. I need your cock. Want your hard cock inside me, fucking me so hard. Wanna come all over you as you pound me into the mattress.”

 

“Oh my _God,_ my boyfriend's a fucking minx, a fucking sex kitten,” Niall muttered on the other end of the phone “You're gonna kill me, H. I'm- I'm on my way to the car. Thank God most people have left already. I'm so fucking hard.”

 

“ _Niall,_ I need to come.” Harry moaned into the phone. He could hear a car door slam and hoped that meant Niall was in his car. “I'm riding my toy so hard, baby, so hard for you. Want to ride you that way but you gotta come home.”

 

“I am babe. I'm gonna come home. Are you close? Can you come for me before I hang up? I'll need to hang up before I drive so I don't end up in a car accident.” Niall told his boyfriend.

 

“Yeah,” Harry moaned “I'm so close. I'm so fucking close. Need to come, then when you get home I want you to fuck me. I'll be wide open for you and ready to go.”

 

“ _Fuck,_ Harry,” Niall moaned and Harry could hear what sounded like Niall wanking on the other end of the phone “You're drivin' me crazy. I had to get a hand on meself.”

 

“Oh _God,”_ Harry cried out “You're getting off in your car? Fuck I'm gonna come.”

 

“Yeah, come on, H, come. Let me hear you,” Niall said in a broken voice.

 

There were no more words, just heavy breathing then a long moan from Harry as he clenched around the dildo and came all over his hand. Niall wasn't far behind him, coming with a grunt and a moan of Harry's name a minute or so later.

 

“Harry,” Niall gasped as he tried to catch his breath “Fuck that was so hot. I'm-I'm gonna clean up and come home now okay? I'll be at your house as soon as I can.”

 

“Mmmhmm,” Harry hummed into the phone. He was laying star fished on his bed, the dildo laying next to him and his body covered in a light sheen of sweat “I'll be ready for round two when you get here. Want you to fuck me.”

 

A sound resembling a whimper left Niall's mouth, making Harry grin a little in his blissed out state “Yeah, H, I'll fuck you good. I'll be there soon okay?”

 

“Stay safe please. I'm not going anywhere. We have all night.” Harry told Niall. They both lost loved ones in car accidents and Harry didn't want to go through that again just because he wanted his boyfriend to fuck him “Love you.”

 

“Christ, I love you too, Harry. So, so much. Be there soon.” Niall answered then he hung up the phone.

 

Harry knew it would take him at least half an hour to get here so he lay on his bed, basking in the aftermath of his orgasm for a few more minutes, then he got up and cleaned himself off and went downstairs to unlock the door. Niall had the code to his gate to get in his driveway but he didn't have a key to his house. He needed to change that.

 

After he was done that, he stopped by the kitchen for a bottle of water and a banana for sustenance, then he went back upstairs and spread out on his bed still naked, waiting for Niall.

 

At first, Harry just laid there resting his head on his arm and thinking about Niall with a small grin on his face. He'd never felt this way about anyone before. Before Jack, he'd only had a few teenage relationships that lasted all of two or three months while he was in high school, and then with Jack...he loved Jack, a lot, thought he couldn't ever love anybody as much as he loved him. Until Niall. The way Niall has made him feel over the past few months since Harry realized he was falling for him, is extraordinary. Just the little things Niall did made Harry feel like the most important person in the world. The way Niall looked at him, smiled at him, even when he laughed at one of Harry's stupid jokes. It was all so amazing and Harry felt like he should feel guilty about it but he doesn't. Not anymore.

 

Eventually Harry's thoughts turned to sex and his hand slipped between his legs to play with his cock again, slowing starting to stroke it to hardness again. He thought about Niall's lips and the way they moved against his own lips, how they felt against his skin as Niall kissed his way down Harry's neck and chest until he was right in front of Harry's cock and taking it between those pink lips.

 

He thought about Niall's tight little body and how much he loved running his hands all over it. Niall scoffed at him the first time Harry told him how much he loved his body. He didn't think much of his body and pointed out that Harry was bigger than him and more muscular. Harry was having none of it and proceeded to spend the next hour kissing every inch of Niall's body until Niall was wrecked underneath him and coming with the help of Harry's hand.

 

He was so caught up in his thoughts that when he heard the door slam downstairs he nearly jumped off the bed. He relaxed pretty quickly, though, and made sure to turn his body so Niall would see how hard he was again while waiting for him.

 

When Niall finally appeared in the doorway, Harry barked out a loud laugh and turned his face into the duvet to try and hide his giggling. Niall must have been removing his clothes on the way upstairs because he stood there with the jacket and trousers of his suit nowhere in sight, his button down shirt half unbuttoned and hanging off one shoulder while his tie was undone and hanging around his neck , and only one black sock on which was actually only half on.

 

“You,” Niall's voice was low and a bit raspy, kind of like how it is when he first wakes up “are a complete menace.”

 

Harry turned his head away from the mattress, a coy smile on his face “I missed you. Had to find some way to show you that didn't I?”

 

“Message received,” Niall's eyes were locked on Harry's, the intensity making Harry's breath hitch “When I got your text I knocked my coffee cup over. My desk smells like the inside of Starbucks.”

 

Harry spread himself out over the bed, making sure Niall could see him stroking his hard cock, and stared at Niall with wide green eyes while biting his bottom lip “Are you mad? Maybe you should teach me a lesson.”

 

Niall's eyes went wide and his mouth dropped open as he gaped at Harry “You- I should -are you- what?”

 

Harry didn't say anything, simply raised an eyebrow at Niall and shrugged his shoulders.

 

Niall took a cautious step inside the bedroom, still gaping at Harry “Are you- are you into that? Punishment and stuff?”

 

“Depends on what it is,” Harry answered, beckoning Niall over with one hand. When Niall got close enough, Harry pulled him down between his legs so they were pressed together chest to chest and groin to groin “I'm not into anything extreme. I don't want to be whipped and smacked around.”

 

“Then what _do_ you like?” Niall whispered, his lips only an inch away from Harry's.

 

“I told you before. I like being taken care of. I like being fucked hard, being held down until my orgasm is fucked right out of me. I'm not opposed to being tied to things, or handcuffed, whichever you prefer.”

 

“That's good,” Niall presses a tender kiss to Harry's lips “Because I could never hit you, even if you asked me to.”

 

“I know,” Harry nodded “Could you fuck me hard?”

 

Niall grinned against Harry's lips “Yeah, that I can do.”

 

Everything turns frantic after that as their lips crash together in a heated kiss, their tongues battling in each others mouths. Harry somehow manages to get his hands between them to undo the remaining buttons on Niall's shirt to slip it off and Niall pulls his boxers off, throwing them on the floor along with the one remaining sock he was wearing.

 

“I wanted the first time we did this-” Niall started as he began to press kisses all over Harry's chest and down across his abs “-to be slow. I wanted to take my time with you, make you fall apart slowing underneath me.”

 

“And we'll do that later,” Harry said breathlessly as he dug his fingers into Niall's back and pushed him down so their cock's rubbed together. “Fuck, yeah, we'll do that later. Right now I need you to fuck me. Please, Niall. It's been so long. I need you.”

 

Niall stopped kissing along Harry's naked body and lifted his eyes to lock with Harry's “Okay. Yeah. How do you want to do this?”

 

“Just like this,” Harry indicated their current position. Niall was laying between his legs with Harry's feet planted flat on the mattress and his knees bracketing Niall. “I want to see you.”

 

“Okay,” Niall already sounded breathless and he hadn't even started. He crawled to his knees in between Harry's legs, running his hands over Harry's strong thighs “Where's your lube and condoms?”

 

“There,” Harry waved his hand to the side of him “Somewhere. I needed the lube for my toy and I got a condom out when I knew you were coming.”

 

Niall moaned as he let go of one of Harry's legs to search the bed for what he needed When he found the dildo he cursed and stared back at Harry “You looked so fucking good riding this toy, babe. The most gorgeous thing I've ever seen.”

 

Harry whimpered and bucked his hips up, letting Niall know he was getting impatient “I'll ride it for you whenever you want. I'll do whatever you want just... _please_ fuck me.”

 

“Christ, okay, okay, I'm-” Niall cut himself off as his hand found the supplies they needed on the bed He made quick work of rolling the condom on, the whole time being completely aware of the piercing green eyes of his boyfriend watching his every move. When he lubed himself up and was ready, he lifted Harry's legs up around his torso and bit his lip when he felt Harry immediately lock his ankles together. He brought his fingers to Harry's hole to make sure he was opened enough and let out a string of filthy words when his fingers slipped right in without any resistance “Fuck, you're so-you're so open and ready. God you opened yourself up so good baby.”

 

“I did it for you,” Harry panted “Come on, take me, I'm all yours.”

 

Niall didn't have to be told again. He grabbed Harry tight by both his hips and lined his cock up with Harry's hole. As he started to press in, he made eye contact with Harry and it was like everything happened in slow motion. He'd never experienced such intensity before and he wondered briefly if he'd even be able to last long enough to fuck Harry.

 

“Fuck, yeah, Niall. My God you feel so good,” Harry murmured as his blunt nails dug into the skin of Niall's back “Fuck me baby. Come on. Fuck me hard.”

 

Niall let out a loud moan as he dragged his cock almost completely out of Harry, then pushed back in again, snapping his hips. He did this three or four times until he gained a rhythm and soon he was fucking into Harry hard and fast, his hips snapping forward every time he drove his cock deeper into Harry. The room was filled with the sounds of heavy breathing, moaning, cursing, and the slap of skin against skin as Niall pounded into his boyfriend.

 

“Yes!” Harry threw his head back against the pillows, his long curls splayed out all around him “Fuck, yes! Niall, oh fuck, Niall you fuck me so good, so good.”

 

Niall was breathing hard as he kept pounding into Harry. He could feel the sweat glistening on his skin and knew his chest was probably turning a red colour from the exertion. He didn't stop though. He kept going while looking down at his boyfriend underneath him, clearing enjoying every minute of it. He somehow managed to lean down while still thrusting into Harry and kissed his lips, swallowing the loud moans coming out of Harry's mouth. When Harry let go of his back to cup his face, Niall grabbed his hands and pinned them over his head, remembering that Harry said he liked that.

 

“How's that, hmm?” Niall breathed out “Is that what you want? Want me to hold you here while I have my way with you?”

 

A very primal sound left Harry then and Niall is sure he saw his eyes roll back in his head. It was probably the hottest thing he's ever seen and he knew he'd be coming inside his boyfriend very, very soon so he decided to egg Harry on.

 

“Come on, babe,” Niall breathed out, close to his ear “Ya gonna come for me? Make a mess all over us, hmm?”

 

“Fuck,” Harry choked out then he dragged in a big breath of air “I'm so close, Niall. So fucking close.”

 

Niall removed one hand from where he was pinning Harry's arms above his head and brought it down to Harry's cock, starting a steady rhythm pulling him off. He held onto Harry's wrists with one hand, pushing down harder as he pounded into him. It would probably leave a bruise tomorrow but Harry didn't seem to care. It was when Niall's hand squeezed harder on his wrists that Harry stilled underneath him and his mouth opened in a silent scream as he began coming in between them.

 

“Fuck,” Niall whispered as he watched Harry. He'd never seen anything so hot and beautiful at the same time in his whole life. His hips began to slow as he watched Harry but Harry opened his eyes and looked at Niall and somehow told him to keep moving.

 

“Want you to come inside me. Don't stop,” Harry begged.

 

So he kept going, fucking into Harry with everything he had, knowing he was close anyway. When he reached his own orgasm a couple minutes later, it was the most intense orgasm he'd ever had and for a moment he wasn't even completely sure if he had blacked out or not because after he came, the next thing he remembers is laying on his back next to Harry, the condom already gone and the both of them were breathing heavily into the otherwise quiet room.

 

“Harry?” Niall groaned as he tried to turn his body into Harry's “What happened? Did you...?”

 

Harry moved beside him and Niall immediately saw his boyfriends gorgeous face leaning over his own, his dimples popping and his long hair falling down over his face “Did I get rid of the condom? Yes. You looked too stunned to do it yourself. Think I broke you for a minute.”

 

Niall laughed incredulously and wiped a hand over his face. He hadn't shaved in a couple days and the stubble felt rough on the skin of his hand “My God.”

 

“I agree,” Harry giggled then leaned down and kissed Niall slowly and thoroughly. When he pulled back he stared down at Niall with a sweet smile that had Niall's heart rate speeding up and in that moment Niall was sure he'd never been as in love with someone as he is with Harry right now.

 

“I knew we were good together but...” Niall trailed off, not even sure what to say. It didn't matter because Harry understood.

 

“I know,” Harry nodded “We fit. We're perfect for each other in every way. I can't even describe how I feel right now.”

 

“You don't have to. I feel it too.” Niall murmured “I feel it too.”

 

 ~~~

 

It took a little over a month for the press to catch on to Harry's new relationship. They had gone out a few times, Niall telling Harry he was fine with the paps, he wanted to live his life like normal and go out with his boyfriend and Harry was happy to go along, loving going out and doing normal things with the man he was in love with.

 

They had gone out to dinner one night with Louis and his girlfriend on a double date. The four of them hit it off instantly and even got a few looks for laughing so loudly at their table.

 

Another night they went to a pub with Niall, his best mate, his cousin and a couple of Niall's other friends. They invited Louis along as well as Liam and it didn't take long for Harry's friends and Niall's to become one large group, laughing and joking around together with Louis making the mistake of thinking he could hold his liquor with an Irishman. By the time Louis was ready to fall on the floor, Sean wasn't even completely pissed.

 

Then another night Harry's Mum had come to London to see both her kids since they lived in London and Harry introduced Niall to his Mum and sister with a huge smile on his face then took the three of them out to a nice restaurant wanting to spoil the three most important people in his life. Harry's Mum and sister hit it off with Niall immediately and Harry had to reach under the table at one point to squeeze his Mum's hand when he saw her tear up, clearly overwhelmed to see her son happy again.

 

Of course Niall wanted Harry to meet his Mum as well and it was easy to set up since she lived in England, unlike Niall's Dad and brother. They took her and her husband out for dinner and a show one night and when they got back to Harry's house later that night, Niall told him his Mum had told him she wanted to be the first one to know when the wedding is being planned. Harry had smiled for a long time at that, long after Niall had fallen asleep. He knew how much Maura loved Aiden so to know she liked Harry enough to want him to marry her son...it did something to Harry he couldn't even describe.

 

After all those outings, plus times when the two of them went out alone, the tabloids had caught on and pictures started appearing everywhere of Niall and Harry and Harry was freaking out.

 

“What is wrong with you?” Louis looked at Harry like he had ten heads as Harry scrolled through all the headlines on his phone “You and Jack were in the papers everyday. Why are you practically hyperventilating?”

 

“Louis,” Harry whined “Jack was with me in the beginning, when the press and the rest of the world was just learning who I was. We had time to ease into it slowly before it got full out crazy. It's not the same for Niall. I was at the height of my career when Jack died and like you keep reminding me everyday, now that my album is getting closer to being finished, the press and the public are talking about me again, practically salivating for anything new after I was off the grid for so long.”

 

“Again...so what?” Louis stared at Harry with narrowed eyes.

 

“What if it's too much, Louis? What if he can't handle it? What if-”

 

“Harry, stop it!” Louis grabbed him by the shoulders and looked him in the eyes “Didn't Niall already tell you he doesn't care about all that? He loves you. So much it's sickening. He'll be fine.”

 

“But what if he's not?” Harry cried out “What if he leaves me?”

 

“Harry he's not going to leave you! What did I just say? He loves you. He's all in. Stop freaking out over nothing. Stop being paranoid.” Louis shook him gently, trying to knock some sense into him.

 

Harry calmed down eventually but the uneasiness still didn't go away completely. He was terrified all the attention would scare Niall away and he knew Niall could sense something was bothering him but he didn't push Harry, just told him to talk to him whenever he was ready.

 

It was a few weeks later when Louis came waltzing into the recording studio where Harry was putting the finishing touches on his album. He had his I-pad in his hand and motioned for Harry to come out of the booth to have a look.

 

“Your boy has the internet all a buzz. I think he might have broken the internet at one point actually.” Louis crowed.

  
“What?” Harry's skin turned cold and he felt the panic rising quickly through his body “What's happened? Oh my God.”

 

“Oh stop freaking out and just watch,” Louis thrust the I-pad into Harry's hands and rolled his eyes.

 

Harry took it with shaking hands and pushed play on the video Louis already had pulled up. It was on sugarscape and titled **“Harry Styles new man puts pap in his place.”**

 

“Niall! Niall! Are you and Harry Styles dating? Can you give us the scoop? Any inside details? What's he like as a boyfriend? What's he like in bed?” The questions kept coming at Niall over and over again as Niall walked down the street somewhere, a Starbucks cup in his hand. He looked good. He looked normal. He didn't look overwhelmed at least. Harry couldn't tell how many paps were there but it didn't seem like more than three since Niall was walking along like normal, clearly not impeded in any way.

 

“Come on, Niall! Give us something!” The same mans voice that asked all the other questions spoke up again. Niall didn't stop walking but another camera that was there caught him as he turned his head toward the guy who was talking and raised an eyebrow at him.

 

“Really mate?” Niall's voice came through loud and clear, a hint of amusement in his voice “If you know who I am then I bet you know where I work right? Yet you come to try and get me to talk about Harry while wearing a Manchester United jersey when I work for Chelsea? Guys, guys,” Niall motioned toward the camera that was catching this exchange “Get this guy will ya? Look at what he's wearing? What do you lot think? Think I'm gonna tell him anything about Harry when he's wearing a rival teams jersey?”

 

Harry watched at the camera turned on the other pap, showing him with his camera halfway down to his side and staring at Niall with his mouth open. Sure enough, he was wearing a Man U jersey and Harry could hear the other paps that were there starting to laugh. Then something happened Harry's never seen before. The other two paps that were there stopped talking about Harry and started talking about Football.

 

“Niall, Chelsea is playing in the league championship next week, what do you think their chances are?” One of the paps asked.

 

Niall scoffed “We're going to win obviously. We've been on fire all year. Barely any injuries and that squad has some good chemistry. We've got it in the bag. Now, as much as I enjoy talking about Football, I'm late to meet my cousin so I have to go but if you're at the match next week and you see me, come say hello. Just don't bring Mister Man U with you, yeah?”

 

Then the paps all seemed to stop and the video showed Niall walking off down the street until he disappeared around the corner. The video ended then and Harry stood staring at the screen in shock.

 

“Oh my God!” Liam whooped from behind him “Did you see his face? He was just staring at Niall with his mouth hanging open like an idiot.”

 

Jon was standing next to Liam laughing hysterically “He looked like one of those-those-those what are they called? Guppy fishes? I don't know but he looked like that fish from The Little Mermaid.”

 

Louis let out a very unmanly squawk as he turned his attention to Jon “And _why_ have you been watching The Little Mermaid?”

 

“I have nieces and nephews, Louis,” Jon rolled his eyes at Louis.

 

Harry was aware of the three men behind him as they continued to banter but his eyes were still on the I-pad as he scrolled down to read the article.

 

**Well ladies (and gents) we don't know much about him yet but we certainly like what we're seeing so far!**

 

**Niall Horan, 27, new beau of pop star Harry Styles, 24, was seen today, putting a member of the paparazzi in his place while strolling down a Central London street near Russell Square earlier today. The man was asking Horan questions about Styles, clearly trying to get a rise out of him but Mr. Horan did not take the bait. In a stunning (and very amusing) turn of events, Horan seemed amused by the pap and proceeded to put him in his place, asking the man how he thought he was going to get information on Harry wearing the jersey of a rival Football team to the one Horan works for.**

 

“ **It was pretty funny,” A source who was walking by at the time, commented “I'm a big fan of Harry's and it was pretty gross some of the questions this bloke was asking. I was expecting Niall to punch him in the face but he was calm the whole time, even seemed to be enjoying himself, and watching that pap gaping like a fool was definitely better than watching a fist fight.”**

 

**We here at Sugarscape, agree. We don't know much about Niall Horan as of yet but we do know this, he's feisty and he's absolutely gorgeous! Get in, Harry! We can't wait to see what's next for the new couple fans are affectionately calling Narry.**

 

**As always, stay tuned to Sugarscape for the latest on Harry Styles (and now, Narry)**

 

By the time Harry finished the article, he was smiling from ear to ear and a giggle even escaped his lips “Narry. We're called Narry.”

 

Louis rolled his eyes and took the I-pad from Harry, flipping the cover over the screen “You've been Narry since the first photos of you and Niall emerged. I would have thought you'd have noticed that when you were freaking out, worrying Niall would leave you because of all the press attention.”

 

“Leave you?” Both Liam and Jon look at Harry with wide eyes before Liam continued “Mate, that's not happening anytime soon. The way he looks at you...it's like something from a film.”

 

“Yes, thank you Liam. We can always trust in you to provide us with complete sappiness.” Louis groaned.

 

Harry shook his head and looked down at his feet, a small smile on his face and his cheeks a light rosy colour “I think...I think you might be right, Louis.”

 

“Of course I'm right,” Louis huffed, crossing his arms over his chest “Wait...what am I right about?”

 

Harry looked up and locked eyes with Louis, the look on his face making even Louis' heart stutter a bit. He'd never seen Harry look like that, so completely and utterly in love.

 

“You were right about Niall. Nothing the press says or does is going to scare him away. I think he's in this for the long haul.” Harry says, softly.

 

A smile slowly spread across Louis' face until he was positively beaming “Yeah, Harry. I think he is too.”

 

 

 

**Two Years Later**

 

 

Harry sat in a hotel room in New York City, playing with his phone in his hands while he waited for the next interview to start. He was a bit anxious but no one would blame him. It had been six weeks since he'd seen his boyfriend back home in London and right after the interview he was getting on his private jet and flying all night to be home with Niall the next day..

 

He had been in the United States and Canada over the past six weeks, promoting his fifth album doing interviews, attending award shows and performing a set list of six of his new songs in select cities to crowds of only a thousand. It was something Harry loved dearly, performing to small crowds, just him and his acoustic. He loved the big stadiums he performed at as well, but every now and again he liked to tone it down a bit and he was at a point in his career where he's proven himself so his label was pretty open to most things he wanted to do.

 

The only thing missing from all this was Niall. He'd been away from him for long stretches before but it never got any easier. They always got through it, though, and when Harry got home...well lets just say they always made up for the weeks lost in just a few days. So, no, no one would blame him for being anxious and fidgety if they knew the hot sex Harry would be returning home to in a few short hours.

 

A woman entering the room a minute later, interrupted Harry's thoughts and he stood up quickly to shake her hand and kiss her cheek, just like he did to all female interviewers. He was nothing if not a gentleman.

 

“Hello Mr. Styles. Kelly Davis from People Magazine, how are you?” The blonde woman asked him as she took her seat across from him.

 

“Call me Harry please,” Harry smiled softly at her “And I'm doing good. How are you?”

 

“I'm a bit excited if I'm being honest. I've worked for People for a few years now but I've never been sent to do interviews with you. All my colleagues always come back from talking with you with nothing but good things to say so I've been interested to see for myself what it is about you that has everyone in our offices swooning.” She answers with a big smile.

 

Harry raised his eyebrows and let out a surprised laugh “Well that's nice to hear. It's definitely better than being called difficult.”

 

Kelly smiled at him again then sat back in her chair after making sure the camera in the room was recording the interview for the People website “Shall we begin then?”

 

Harry simply nodded and smiled back at her then they got right to it, talking about his new album.

 

“Harry,” Kelly began “I want to talk to you about your new album. It's so different from your last album, so light, so happy, full of very upbeat pop and rock songs. Your last album was the complete opposite, full of sorrow, heartache, even anger. Is it safe to say the change between those albums can be attributed to your current boyfriend Niall?”

 

A huge smile came across Harry's face at the mention of Niall “Yes, Kelly, I think it's pretty safe to say that, yeah.”

 

“Two years ago, when you released your fourth album, you were very open about the fact that it was written during the months after your long time boyfriends death when you were grieving and trying to make some sense of things again. What would you say your fifth album is about? In your own words?”

 

“It's about finding my way out of my grief. Learning to be happy again, accepting that I _could_ be happy again. The few really serious songs on this album depict that whereas the happier songs were written when I was falling in love again. I think when people listen to the album, they'll very easily be able to tell what I was thinking or feeling when writing a particular song. I left it all out there, really. For the past two albums I've really let go and didn't hold back.”

 

“That's very clear,” Kelly nodded her head and smiled “Your last album was such a huge success, not only commercially but critically as well. You won three Grammy awards and the song 'Broken' which you performed at the Grammy ceremony, had the whole audience in tears. Did you feel any pressure with this album, to repeat that success?”

 

“No,” Harry answered immediately “Of course I was thrilled when the album was such a huge success but it wasn't the most important thing for me. I mean, let's be frank here, I've made my money. I don't need anymore money, so I really don't have anybody to please but myself. Yes, I want my fans to enjoy it but at the end of the day, what's most important is that I'm happy with the result. So there was absolutely no pressure with this album. I had complete creative control and I'm very happy with the result.”

 

“I think it's a sure thing this album will be just as successful. I've already listened to it three times since I was given a copy and I absolutely adore it. My favourite track, by far, is 'Falling' It's a simple, one word title but when listening to the song it's quite clear it's much, much more.” Kelly gushed.

 

“That's a good choice,” Harry grinned “It's my favourite as well.”

 

“That doesn't really surprise me since it would appear to be a song about your significant other?”

 

“It is, yeah.” Harry blushed slightly “It's exactly what it seems. It takes you through how I felt when I was falling in love with Niall.”

 

“I cried,” Kelly laughed and looked sheepishly into the camera “I'm not going to lie, I cried. I'm a hopeless romantic and it's one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard. How did Niall react when he first heard it? Are you able to share that? Would he mind?”

 

Harry laughed and shook his head “No, he wouldn't mind. The first time he heard it was at four in the morning-”

 

“What?” Kelly cut in, a disbelieving look on her face “Seriously?”

 

“Seriously,” Harry laughed at her reaction and leaned forward in his seat as he got into the story “I couldn't sleep so I got up and was trying to finish that song. I finally finished around four in the morning and of course the first thing I did was run and wake up Niall so he could hear it.”

 

“You just woke him up in the middle of the night?”

 

“Uh huh, which I haven't done ever again by the way. It's quite dangerous,” Harry giggled and pushed his hair back out of his face with his hand “Anyway, after I finally got him awake and he, very grudgingly sat up, I played him the song on my acoustic guitar, right there in the bedroom.”

 

“How did he react? What did he say?” Kelly was practically on the edge of her seat now, eyes wide as she waited for Harry to answer.

 

“Well after he stopped glaring at me and claiming to hate me for waking him up, he just hugged me really tight and told me he loved me just as much as I love him. There may have been a tear or two.” Harry shrugged and smiled shyly.

 

“That's beautiful. So romantic,” Kelly sighed “Let me ask you this. Are you aware of just how popular Narry is around the world?”

 

Harry laughed and sat back, shaking his head “I think I am, yeah. I'm pretty sure my sister is head of the Narry fan club.”

 

“And not just Narry but Niall on his own is incredibly popular and he hasn't even done anything. We in the press as well as your fans are just fascinated by him. I mean, there are videos all over youtube of him handling the paparazzi in a way that it seems only Niall can. How does he do it? What's the secret here?”

 

“There's no secret. He literally just finds them amusing and because he's a little shit sometimes he takes pleasure in messing with them. Myself and my manager, Louis thought it was hilarious but we never thought it would turn into such a big thing.”

 

“And big it is! J-Law was actually on the Tonight Show last year and the conversation turned to the paparazzi and she actually said to Jimmy that she wanted to meet Harry Styles boyfriend to find out how he deals with them because she's actually had some trouble with them.”

 

“Really?” Harry looks surprised “I didn't know that.”

 

“How did you not know that?” Kelly laughed.

 

“I really don't pay attention to the media much. I don't google myself or anything like that. Usually when I see something it's because someone shows me.”

 

“Makes sense,” Kelly nodded “Anyway, I've gotten off track. See? It's Narry. Even I'm in the fan club. Seriously, I follow you on twitter and I die every time you post a cute picture of the two of you together. Alright, back to the serious questions now...”

 

The interview lasted another ten minutes, all questions about his new album and tour next year, then it was over and Harry was done. Now he got to go home to the UK, have a week off before promotion in London starts and after that, it's Christmas.

 

“Come on then,” Louis ushered him out of the room, his security walking in front and behind them “I know you want to get home to your boy. Your bags have already been brought to the jet, the car is waiting at the back of the hotel, we're good to go.”

 

“Thanks Lou, you're the best ya know,” Harry smiled at his best friend as they got on the elevator.

 

“I know,” Louis chirped, causing one of his security guards to snort and Louis to retaliate by poking the guard in the ribs. This was Harry's life on the road and he wouldn't change it for the world, except to have Niall here full time that is.

 

Once they were in the car and on their way to the airport, Harry pulled out his phone to text Niall. It was evening in New York so it would be the middle of the night in London but Harry texted anyway, wanting Niall to see it when he wakes up.

 

**Hi baby. In the car to the airport now. On my way home soon. Can't wait to see you. Miss you so, so much. Love you. Xx**

 

After sending the text he was about to go onto twitter and post something but he got a text back from Niall right away.

 

_**Miss you too. Can't wait to kiss you.** _

 

A slow grin spread across Harry's face and the warm feeling he always gets when he talks to Niall filled his chest. **Did I wake you up? It's the middle of the night...**

 

_**No. Haven't been able to sleep much. Too excited that you're coming home.** _

 

Harry grinned down at his phone and resisted the urge to squeal like a little girl because he _was_ twenty six years old for God's sake. Texts from his boyfriend shouldn't make him act this way.

 

He's about to text back when another text comes through right away, this one a picture. Harry opens it immediately and this time can't resist making a noise. It's Niall at home in their bed with the duvet pulled up to his chin, his hair stuck up and a sleepy smile on his face.

 

“God,” Harry breathes out, his voice breaking over the word. He loves Niall so much it overwhelms him sometimes and literally takes his breath away.

 

“Oi!” Louis turns around from the front seat where he's sitting next to the driver “Are you sexting back there? Because I will kick you out and make you walk to the airport.”

 

Harry ignores Louis and tears his eyes away from the picture long enough to text Niall back **I'm so in love with you.**

 

Almost as soon as the text goes through, Harry's phone is lighting up with a call from Niall “Hey.”

 

“I'm so in love with you, too, you big fucking sap” Niall's Irish lilt fills his ears.

 

“Miss you,” Harry says in response, choosing to ignore the gagging sounds Louis is making from the front seat.

 

“Me too,” Niall says around a yawn “But you'll be here when I get home from work later today, yeah?”

 

“Yeah. As long as there are no weather delays on my flight. I'll let you know if there is.” Harry promised. They always kept each other in the loop when it came to any form of travel. After they both lost people in car accidents, it made sense they'd be a bit paranoid. So it wasn't uncommon for Harry to get a few texts from Niall on his way home from work. One when he left the office then another using Siri if traffic is bad and he's going to take longer than normal to get home. In turn, Harry does the same with his flights and such. It might seem excessive to some people but to them it was necessary.

 

“Okay. I have a few meetings today but my phone will be in my pocket. God,” Niall groans “I hope the day doesn't drag on. I need you.”

 

Normally Harry would say Niall meant that in a sexual way but not this time. He knew Niall better than he knew himself and he could hear the strain in his voice “What's wrong, love? Everything okay?”

 

Niall sighed heavily and Harry could hear the bed sheets rustling as he moved around in the bed “Family drama. I try to stay out of it but somehow I keep getting sucked back in whether I want it or not.”

 

“I'm sorry I wasn't there for you,” Harry frowned “I hate when you need me and I'm not there.”

 

“Don't start that, babe.” Niall warned “You're always here for me, always reachable by phone. Besides, I'm a big boy, I can handle myself. Everything's just so much better when you're in the room. Just you smiling at me from across the room, calms me.”

 

“Yeah?” Harry couldn't control the huge grin on his face “Well I'm going to be doing a lot more than smiling at you in a few hours.”

 

“Oi! Oi! Oiiiiiiiiiiii.” Louis yelled from the front seat “Niall, for fuck's sake, don't get him started. At least wait until we're out of the car.”

 

Harry and Niall both laughed loudly and Harry took a quick picture of Louis looking over his shoulder and glaring at him to show Niall later.

 

“We're almost at the airport, baby,” Harry spoke softly into the phone once the laughter died down “We're going to talk about whatever is going on with your family when I get home okay?”

 

“We will,” Niall agreed “But it'll have to wait a day or two. We're not coming out of the bedroom for awhile. We have a lot of fucking to catch up on.”

 

“Absolutely,” Harry breathed quietly into the phone “I'll be waiting for you when you get home from work, okay? I love you.”

 

“Love you, too, H, bye.”

 

“Bye, love.”

 

 ~~~

 

 

It's three in the afternoon when Harry walks into the house he shares with Niall. He's tired from the flight but he knows he won't be sleeping. Niall will be home in two and a half hours and there was no way Harry was going to fall asleep and miss that.

 

Picking up his two suitcases, and throwing another small bag over his shoulder, he makes his way upstairs to their bedroom, deciding to take a nice hot shower to relax his muscles and make him feel nice and refreshed after a long flight.

 

As soon as he walks into the bedroom, he leaves his bags by the closet and immediately strips out of all his clothes and walks into the en suite naked. He spends the next twenty minutes under the hot spray then gets out, grabbing a towel to tie around his waist and one for his hair.

 

In the bedroom he makes quick work of drying himself off then slips on a pair of black boxers along with a t-shirt Niall had left laying across the back of the chair that sits in the corner of their room. It smells like Niall and that's exactly what Harry wanted.

 

After that he decided he might as well get some things done while he's waiting for Niall so he empties all the dirty clothes out of his bags and throws them in the half full clothes hamper in their en suite, then he picks up the hamper and heads downstairs to the utility room off their kitchen. He quickly sorts the clothes and starts a load of dark before heading into the kitchen to see if Niall had done any shopping lately. After a quick look in the fridge and cupboards he sees the kitchen is stocked pretty well and decides to get to work making a homemade pizza for their dinner.

 

By the time he's done all that and has the pizza sitting in the oven waiting to be turned on, he realizes Niall should be home soon and confirms it when he checks his phone and sees a text from ten minutes ago from Niall saying he was leaving work and would be home soon.

 

Harry can't do anything after that, except sit on the couch in their living room with his knee bobbing up and down, while he waits anxiously for his boyfriend.

 

Another twenty minutes have passed when Harry finally hears a car door outside and jumps up from the couch to head to the front entryway of their house. He's just rounding the corner when the front door opens and Niall steps in, dropping his briefcase right by the door. Their eyes meet immediately and Harry can barely breathe. It shouldn't be like this after two years together. He's spent countless hours looking into Niall's striking blue eyes, they shouldn't still affect him this way, but they do, God help him, they do.

 

“Harry...” Niall's voice is soft, and warm and feels like home.

 

“Hi, baby,” Harry murmurs, then he and Niall both, are striding toward each other until their chests crash together and they're hugging each other tight. Harry lifts Niall up off his feet and Niall wraps his legs around Harry's waist, causing Harry to momentarily lose his balance and send them crashing back into the wall. They manage to stay upright somehow but Harry can't help but let a few giggles escape him, causing Niall to break out into his own laughter.

 

“You're still as graceful as ever,” Niall laughs into his neck “Welcome home.”

 

“I missed you. I missed you so much,” Harry mumbled against Niall's shoulder

 

“Missed you too, H, more than anything.” Niall said back.

 

The pair remained quiet for the next few minutes, not moving at all. Harry's back was still against the wall and Niall was still wrapped around him so tight he wondered how his circulation wasn't cut off.

 

“Okay,” Harry finally speaks up “Let me look at you. Wanna see you.”

 

Niall releases his hold on Harry a little and slides down his body until he's standing on his feet again. Harry immediately grabs his face between his hands and kisses him long and hard before pulling back and letting his eyes study every inch of Niall's face.

 

“You look tired, baby. Is everything okay?” Harry frowned at his boyfriend.

 

“Everything is perfect. Just haven't been sleeping well this past week. I've got a lot on me mind and I guess the longer you're away the more I miss you. Our bed is so much better when you're in it.” Niall answered.

 

“I don't like this. Why didn't you tell me you weren't sleeping? I could have- I mean- I would have thought of something to help you. What's going on, Niall? Is someone sick? Is it Bobby? Or Maura?”

 

“Shhh,” Niall presses a finger to Harry's lips “Everyone is fine. It's not that. I'll tell you all about it but can we do it tomorrow? I just want to be with you tonight, is that okay?”

 

“Yeah,” Harry brushed a thumb over the light dusting of freckles on Niall's cheek “That's okay. I made a pizza. Half veggie for me, meat for you. I'll turn the oven on now and it'll be ready soon. Are you hungry?”

 

“Starving,” Niall pulls back to start loosening his tie “For more than just food by the way. You're not helping by going around in your boxers and my t-shirt on either.”

 

“Well,” Harry giggled as he helped Niall remove his tie and unbutton the first few buttons of his shirt “Didn't really see much point in getting dressed too much. Not when the clothes wouldn't be staying on for very long.”

 

“Cheeky,” Niall grinned and leaned in to kiss his boyfriend. They began walking toward the kitchen, their lips attached and Harry's hands roaming all over Niall's body until they reached his arse and squeezed hard. Niall reacted immediately, breaking their kiss and laughing against Harry's mouth. It was one of the best sounds Harry's ever heard.

 

“Love you,” Harry murmured against Niall's mouth as they finally entered the kitchen and made their way over toward the stove. Harry quickly turned the oven on and set the timer then returned his attention to Niall, kissing his lips and cheeks repeatedly “Love you, love you, love you.”

 

“So sappy,” Niall breathed against his lips “I love it though. Love everything about you don't I? Fuck.”

 

Harry swallowed thickly and pressed Niall tight against his chest again, his face tucked away against Niall's neck, smelling the cologne Harry loved so much. He rocked them slowly back and forth for a bit until he finally sat down on one of the kitchen chairs, pulling Niall down on top of him. “I missed you. Always miss you.”

 

“Mmm,” Niall hummed as he ran his fingers through Harry's long curls “Always miss you, too. How was the flight?”

 

“Was alright. Slept for a lot of it. Still feelin' the jet lag though.” Harry tipped his head closer to Niall, practically purring at the feeling of his fingers through his hair.

 

“You did interviews for the whole day yesterday didn't you? Must have been exhausting after awhile.” Niall presses his lips to Harry's temple, kissing him softly then leaving his lips pressed against the skin.

 

“I guess. Wasn't so bad really. Talked about you a lot. My favourite topic,” Harry grinned against Niall's neck “The world is obsessed with you, did you know? My fans can't get enough. I think they might abandon me for you.”

 

“That'd be a shame. Seeing as you're much prettier than I am.” Niall teases.

 

“You're ruggedly handsome. They like that more,” Harry's talking a bit slower now, Niall's fingers on his scalp relaxing him “I love it ya know?”

 

“What?” Niall sounds amused “That I'm ruggedly handsome?”

 

“Noooo...well yes but I meant that my fans love you so much. Every time I post a picture of you or of us on twitter and Instagram, it practically breaks the internet.” Harry's tone is matter of fact “They don't love you as much as I do, though. Nobody will ever love you as much as I do.”

 

“Good,” Niall pulls back to look at Harry “Don't want anyone else to love me as much as you do. Only you.

 

Harry doesn't say anything, just tilts his head up to kiss Niall. It's a slow kiss, neither one of them in a rush to start something. They have all night after all.

 

They stay that way, kissing slowly, tongues lazily sliding against each other, fingers brushing over skin, almost like they were relearning each others bodies after being apart for six weeks. They only stopped when the oven timer went off and Harry reluctantly had to get up to get the pizza out. He quickly cut out four slices, two to each plate, while Niall grabbed the water from the fridge then they sat down at the table, Harry pulling his chair close enough to Niall so he could rest his hand on Niall's thigh.

 

“How's work been going? Has everything been going okay? You haven't been bothered too much have you?” Harry asked Niall after taking a few bites of his pizza.

 

Niall's eyes flick over to Harry's, an amused smile on his lips “Work has been great. I love my job as you know. Everything else has been fine. I haven't been bothered any more than usual and you know me, I'm not really bothered. I enjoy messing with the paparazzi.”

 

Harry snorted “I'm aware. Did you know that actress from Hunger Games wants to meet you to find out how you deal with them so easily?”

 

“Yeah. She called me. I told her it's nothing I do, I just have a mischievous mind.” Niall shrugged.

 

“She- how does a famous actress call you and you don't tell me?” Harry looks incredulous.

 

“She found me through Louis. I thought he told you.” Niall shrugged again and continued eating his pizza.

 

“I don't know why I'm surprised you talked to her. It was only earlier this year I found you casually chatting to the Duchess of Cambridge at a charity event.” Harry scoffed.

 

“That was hilarious!” Niall cackled “When you found me and realized who I was talking to, you nearly fell all over yourself trying to remember to bow to her.”

 

“Well it's protocol Niall!!”

 

“Not for her. She told me not to bow and made me call her Catherine. She was lovely. She still is lovely. Remember when I met her for tea shortly after that event? The paps took loads of pictures and I became the homewrecker who was trying to steal the future King's wife.” Niall was laughing so hard now, his face was red. “We still laugh about that ya know. I mean, I'm pretty fucking gay and my boyfriend is the sexiest man I've ever seen. I don't need a Royal.”

 

“I still can't believe you're friends with her now,'' Harry shook his head “Gem said Mum spit out her tea when she saw pictures of the two of you.”

 

“She's your friend too, Harry,” Niall rolled his eyes “Lets not forget you're Charlotte's favourite. That little girl adores you. It's cute.”

 

“She's only my friend through you, Niall, and the Princess doesn't adore me, she adores my _hair._ The last time I let her put clips and buckles in my hair, I'm pretty certain she kept a fistful of it as a souvenir.”

 

“Whatever,” Niall rolled his eyes “You love George and Charlotte and you can't tell me otherwise. I've seen you with them.”

 

“Eat your pizza,” Harry pointed at Niall's plate and gave him a stern look.

 

Niall simply stuck his tongue out at him.

 

 ~~~

 

 

“Shit! Fuck,” Harry cursed as a picture went crashing off the wall. After Harry and Niall had finished their pizza, the sexual tension in the room was suffocating and the two men ended up crashing against each other, all teeth and tongues as they tried to make it up the stairs to their bedroom. They were getting there, but not without crashing into the wall a few times and sending two pictures crashing off the wall.

 

“It's fine,” Niall was panting hard as he pulled his t-shirt up over Harry's head and off his body. He pressed Harry hard against the wall, one leg between Harry's thighs and his palms placed flat against the wall as he boxed Harry in “They're just frames. We can replace them. I'm sure your album sales will be sufficient enough to cover it.”

 

“You little shit,” Harry snorted “Stop being so cheeky and start fucking me.”

 

“Yeah? You wanna be fucked, hmm?” Niall pushed off the wall and spun Harry around, quick as lightning, so that his chest was pressed against the wall. He grabbed both of Harry's arms and pinned them to the wall, then pressed himself in close so he could whisper in Harry's ear “I haven't had sex in six weeks. I think that can be arranged. In fact, I'm gonna fuck you so hard, babe. I want to hear you screaming, yeah? I want to hear my name. That okay with you?”

 

“Fuck,” Harry whimpered, his breaths coming in gasps “Yes, yes, Niall. Fuck me hard, please. Missed you so much.”

 

Niall kept Harry pressed against the wall as he started pressing kisses over Harry's shoulders and down his back. He ran his hands over Harry's smooth skin, making Harry shiver from his touches. When he reached Harry's boxers, he hauled them quickly down his boyfriend's legs then dropped to his knees and grabbed Harry's arse in his hands. He began kissing and nipping all over it until he sunk his teeth into one of the cheeks and began sucking to create a mark. Harry moaned loudly and pushed his arse back against Niall's mouth, loving every bit of the attention his boyfriend was giving him..

 

“There,” Niall pulled back and brushed a thumb over the red mark “You'll feel that for a few days when you sit down. It'll be a reminder that your arse is mine.”

 

“Yeah,” Harry swallowed thickly as he peered down at Niall over his shoulder “Yours. Please...Niall. It's been so long. I need you.”

 

“I know, babe, I need you too,” Niall spoke softly, with so much fondness in his voice, as he ran the palm of his hands over Harry's arse. “I'm gonna take care of you. Don't you worry.” Then he pulled the cheeks of Harry's arse apart and pressed his tongue flat over Harry's hole, licking over it slowly, like it was an ice cream cone being savoured in the summer heat.

 

“Fuck!” Harry cried out, his fist banging against the wall by his head now that his arms were free “Oh fuck. Niall...”

 

“Mmm,” Niall hummed against Harry's hole “You love that don't you? I remember the first time I ever did this to you. Never seen anyone fall apart so beautifully before in me life.”

 

“Yeah,” Harry panted “Because you're so good, so good. Know exactly what I like.”

 

Niall didn't respond, he kept going, doing exactly what Harry said and giving him what he liked. He kept a firm grip on Harry, his thumbs digging hard into the flesh of Harry's arse as his tongue slid over Harry's hole repeatedly before delving inside. He fucked Harry with his tongue, over and over again until Harry let out a choked sob and begged Niall to stop.

 

“You okay?” Niall lifted his head so he could look Harry in the eyes.

 

Harry nodded vigorously even though his cheek was pressed against the wall as he looked down at Niall “I don't- I don't want to come yet. Not until you're inside me.”

 

Niall swallowed thickly, then stood up slowly, his hands moving softly over the cheeks of Harry's arse and up his broad muscular back until they reached his shoulders and slid down to his biceps. He took a step in until his body was completely pressed up against Harry's, his chest to Harry's back, and kissed Harry's neck lovingly. “You're so beautiful. Can't wait to be inside you. Come on.”

 

Niall stepped back and pulled Harry away from the wall, guiding him toward their bedroom from behind. It made for some tricky walking and they nearly tripped a time or two but they made it eventually and now Harry was laid out spread eagle on the bed while Niall's body was draped completely over his as he fucked into Harry slowly after opening him up.

 

“Missed this. So much.” Harry whispered into the duvet. His cheek was pressed flat against the bed so he could look up at Niall and one of his hands was above his head being held by Niall's own hand, their fingers laced.

 

“Me too,” Niall breathed out “Our bed is too big without you. It's lonely while you're gone. Love you so much.”

 

“Love you, too,” Harry moaned, as Niall thrust harder into him. “God, Niall, fuck. _Fuck_.”

 

“Yeah, babe. Yeah,” Niall slowly continued to pick up speed until he was fucking Harry into the mattress and all that could be heard in the room was skin slapping on skin, and a lot of moaning and cursing from both men.

 

“Fuck, _Harry fuck”_ Niall half shouted as he pounded over and over again into Harry. They were both gasping for breath now, and Niall's chest was sliding over Harry's back due to the sheen of sweat covering both men's bodies.

 

“Niall, oh God, Niall,” Harry's grip was like a vice around Niall's hand “'M gonna come. 'M gonna-” Harry was cut off by the loud gasp that left his mouth as he started to come from nothing but the friction he was getting from the duvet under him and Niall repeatedly pounding into his prostate. His eyes rolled back in his head and the gasp turned into the most obscene moan Niall had ever heard leave Harry's mouth.

 

“Sweet. Fucking. Jesus.” Niall lost it, his thrusts abruptly stopping as he came, hard into the condom without much warning. He immediately collapsed fully on top of Harry, his breath ragged and his chest heaving as he tried to breathe.

 

Harry wasn't any better off. He lay under his boyfriend, gasping in air and repeatedly licking over his chapped lips.

 

Neither of them says anything for a while. Niall doesn't even move to pull out of Harry until Harry starts giggling and Niall groans and moves off him, clumsily removing the condom and tying it off to throw away.

 

“And what, exactly, are you giggling at Mr. Styles?” Niall asks with a lazy grin on his face.

 

“Just thinkin' about the time I left my phone unlocked on the bed. Last person I texted was Ed and when you were giving me a rather amazing blow job later that night, we somehow must have hit his contact name and called him.” Harry's giggling like a child now “I was just- I was just thinking about his face if we had accidentally called him tonight. We weren't half as loud that time as we were tonight.”

 

“Yeah,” Niall laughed loudly “Thank God it was Ed and not one of our Mum's.”

 

“I don't think Ed thanks God it was him,” Harry snorted and rolled his body half on top of Niall's, the come from his stomach rubbing on to Niall's body.

 

“He survived,” Niall shrugged “Ready for a shower?”

 

“With you in it? Always,” Harry grinned, then they were both jumping off the bed and running toward the en suite, laughing, smiling and joking about, exactly as a young couple should be.

 

 ~~~

 

It's later that night, after another round of intense fucking and blow jobs, when Niall shocks Harry. They're laying in bed after putting fresh sheets on the bed and having yet another shower, both men completely sated and ready for a good night of sleep. Niall is laying on his back, his head propped up by two fluffy pillows, while Harry is laying on his side, his front pressed completely up against Niall and his head resting on Niall's chest. Their fingers are linked together on Niall's stomach and Niall is absentmindedly playing with Harry's fingers.

 

“Harry?” Niall breaks the comfortable silence, hoping Harry wasn't asleep yet.

 

“Mmm?” Harry hums in response, and Niall feels his lips softly kiss his chest.

 

“I was looking at your schedule for next year while you were away.” Niall started, continuing to play with Harry's long fingers.

 

“Yeah? Was there something you didn't like? I'll try to get it changed if I can.” Harry's voice is soft and muffled against Niall's chest.

 

“No. There was something I liked actually. I noticed after you finish touring in South America in April, you have two months off before you go to America for the summer then come back here for the fall. I thought perhaps we could plan something for those two months?” Niall's heart rate picked up a little as he got a bit nervous but if Harry noticed he didn't react.

 

“That sounds brilliant, baby,” Niall can feel Harry smiling against his chest “What did you have in mind?”

 

“Well, you finish the SA leg in Brazil. I can get off work for those shows and for an entire month after. Was thinking we could stay in Brazil for awhile.” Niall tried to sound casual about it all, he thinks he's succeeding.

 

“Yes!” Harry yells loudly, picking his head up off Niall's chest and beaming at him “You can get a full month off? Fuck! Yes, I want to stay in Brazil. It sounds like a brilliant idea. We can book a resort with a private beach so we'd have privacy. We can be naked all day, laying in the sun, swimming and drinking those fruity drinks with the umbrellas!”

 

Niall laughed and leaned forward to peck his boyfriend on the lips. He was so adorable when he was excited. His dimples always seemed to be that much deeper when he smiled and his eyes...they shone brighter than any star Niall had ever seen. “Yes, babe, we should absolutely do all of that.”

 

“Fucking right we should,” Harry scoffs, then lays his head back down on Niall's chest, his nose nuzzling into Niall's chest hair.

 

“I thought maybe we could do something else while we're there as well.” Niall swallowed thickly. This was it, he was doing this and there was no turning back now.

 

“Of course, whatever you want to do, we'll do.” Harry murmured.

 

“Yeah?” Niall asked, shakily.

 

“Mmmhmm. Definitely.” Harry sounded adamant.

 

“Because,” Niall took a deep breath “I was thinking we could do something about this very naked finger of yours right here,” Niall brushes his thumb over Harry's ring finger. It was practically the only finger Harry didn't wear a ring on. “Maybe get a ring for it. A band, maybe.”

 

Harry's body went completely still against Niall's and Niall heard his deep intake of breath. When he slowly lifted his head from Niall's chest to look at him, he could see the tears pooling, making the green of Harry's eyes even brighter “Niall...?”

 

Niall brought their linked fingers up to his mouth and brushed his lips over Harry's ring finger softly “What do you say, H? Will you marry me?”

 

A very loud, ugly sob left Harry's body as the tears came rapidly running down his cheeks. He couldn't seem to get any words out so he simply nodded his head vigorously, reminding Niall of those bobble heads he's seen given out in Baseball stadiums across America.

 

“Yes?” Niall asked, wanting to be sure of Harry's answer “You'll marry me?”

 

Harry throws his body completely on top of Niall, grabbing his cheeks between his hands and kissing it all over. Harry was still sobbing so really Niall only ended up with snot and slobber all over his face but he honestly could care less about it. If he can have his mouth all over Harry's arse all the time, a little snot isn't going to scare him away.

 

“I hate you!” Harry manages to get out after taking in a long, shuddering breath. He slapped Niall on the arm and buried his face in Niall's neck as he continued to sob.

 

“That's...” Niall laughed “You're giving me some mixed signals here babe.”

 

Harry smacked Niall's arm again and wailed into his neck “Yes I'll fucking marry you! Yes! Yes! Yes!”

 

“Okay,” Niall laughed through his own tears “Then why do you hate me?”

 

Harry lifted his head up again, using his bare forearm to wipe at his nose and cheeks. Again, more snot. Again, Niall could care less “Because you're sneaky. You're really fucking sneaky, Niall Horan. You- you didn't leave _any_ clues at all. I had _no_ idea you were going to propose. Not even a hint. Did Louis know? He couldn't have known. He'd have been grinning at me like an idiot the whole time we were in America..”

 

“Please. Louis' the last person I would tell,” Niall snorted “Nobody knew but your Mum and Gem.”

 

“Really? Mum and Gem? I talk to them almost everyday. They never let on at all!” Harry is incredulous. “Why are they the only people you told?”

 

“Well,” Niall brushed Harry's hair behind his ear “You're Anne's baby and Gemma's baby brother. I needed to make sure they'd be okay letting you go. That they'd be okay with me taking care of you for the rest of our lives. That they'd trust me to do even half as good a job as they did.”

 

“That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard,” Harry wailed again “What did they say?”

 

“Your Mum cried, a lot like you're crying right now, actually. It must run in the family.” Niall laughed when Harry smacked him again “Then she told me she could never trust anyone to take care of her baby boy as much as she trusted me. Then I cried. Much quieter than the two of you, mind.”

 

“Oh my God,” Harry rolled his eyes and laughed through his tears “I'm not surprised about my Mum. She loves you more than me most of the time. What did Gem say?”

 

“To hurry up and get married so the babies could start arriving.” Niall laughed.

 

Harry huffed and folded his arms over his chest but Niall could see the blush on his cheeks, the want in his eyes. He knew exactly how much Harry wanted to have babies and he intended to give him as many as he wanted.

 

“So we're going to get married in April? In Brazil?” Niall confirmed “We could fly our close friends and family to Brazil and if the media somehow finds out, they would think they were just coming for your show. Then when we get back we could always have a party and invite all our less close friends and acquaintances, co-workers, all those people.

 

“You've put some thought into this,” Harry noted “And it all sounds perfect. So, incredibly perfect. Yes to all of it!”

 

“Of course I put a lot of thought into it. I've been thinking about it for months. We live together, we share everything, we love each other so much. I never want to be without you and when I think about getting to call you my husband...it makes my heart flutter, H. Even thinking about you posting more pictures of us on your twitter and calling me _your_ husband made me practically giddy. We can have it all, H, and why shouldn't we? There's nothing or nobody stopping us. I'm so, so happy you said yes.”

 

Harry leaned forward and press several sweet kisses to Niall's lips “I feel the same way, Niall and God help twitter because I will post every moment of our lives on there.”

 

“You already do, H,” Niall laughed “Remember a few months ago I woke up to a text from Sean telling me how cute I look while I'm sleeping? I had no idea what he was going on about. Thought he was completely pissed. Until he told me to look at your twitter and there I am in black and white, fast asleep with me hair stuck up everywhere.”

 

“You were so gorgeous and adorable, I couldn't resist. I like everyone knowing you're mine and they can't have you. Besides, I knew you wouldn't care. I didn't think I could love you anymore than I already did but then you go and show me you don't care about the media or paps or rumours and I fell in love with you, hard, all over again.” Harry sighed, happily. “I still think you should get a twitter account. People would love it. I get asked about it all the time.”

 

“Nah. You know I don't care about any of that. I have nothing interesting to say on twitter. You're the famous one, not me.” Niall shrugged.

 

“I wonder about that sometimes,” Harry teases, then his face turns serious “I love you. More than anything. I can't wait to marry you.”

 

“And get moving on those babies your sister talked about?” Niall asked with a raised eyebrow and a cheeky grin.

 

“Yeah,” Harry whispered, shyly “You still want to, right?”

 

“Harry,” Niall cooed, his hand coming up to cup Harry's face and brushing his thumb over one of Harry's dimples “I want it more than anything. I've always loved kids and it would make me so happy and proud to raise some with you. I don't even care how many. Whatever makes you happy is enough for me.”

 

“Good,” Harry nodded firmly “Because I want a girl first and I want to name her Nori.”

 

Niall threw his head back against the pillows, his laughter echoing throughout their bedroom “Alright. We're adopting then, are we? To ensure we actually get a girl?”

 

“Yes,” Harry sounded confident “Then we can have biological babies. With a surrogate. I want at least one Niall clone.”

 

“Do ya?” Niall smiled fondly at his fiance “I think if you talked to me Mum about that she'd try to talk you out of it.”

 

“Oh I know you were a handful as a child. I've heard all the stories. I've also heard her when she told me all the stories about how kind and compassionate you were, even as young as five years old. It would make me really happy to have a child exactly like you.”

 

“Okay,” Niall leaned forward and pressed his lips firmly against Harry's in a kiss “Okay. We can do that. As long as I get to have a Harry clone too.”

 

Harry smiled against Niall's lips then pecked him three times quickly “You've got yourself a deal.”

 

Somehow, after that, they ended up having sex again, not caring they'd likely need _another_ shower and have to change the sheets _again_.

 

It was another hour later when Niall finally jumped out of bed, cursing because he forgot about the ring.

 

“You got me a ring?” Harry sat up in their bed with the sheet bunched up around his waist, his eyes shining brightly “I was so caught up in everything I never even thought of that.”

 

“Of course I got you a ring,” Niall huffed “It's downstairs wherever I left my briefcase. I didn't want to leave it here in case you found it when you got home earlier.”

 

“Well go get it then. I'm waiting!” Harry shooed him out of the bedroom in only his little pair of boxers, completely enjoying the view as he went.

 

When Niall returned a minute later with a box in his hand, he crawled back onto the bed and sat on his knees in front of Harry, his bum resting on his feet. “Here it is. Let me put it on your finger, yeah?”

 

“Yeah,” Harry smiled at Niall then watched with bated breath as Niall lifted the cover of the ring box. He got a glimpse of the ring and bit his lip, trying to keep from sobbing as Niall slid the ring onto Niall's ring finger “It's so perfect, Niall. Oh my God.”

 

It was a white gold band with a simple wave design and diamonds encrusted in the middle. It was beautiful and so Harry. It was exactly what he would pick out for himself

 

“You like it then?” Niall asked as he pressed his lips against the ring on Harry's finger “Truly?”

 

“Yes,” Niall's voice broke as the tears started falling down his cheeks. “I don't know what I love more, the ring or the fact you know me so well.”

 

“Well, you don't have to choose, you can love both.” Niall said with a laugh.

 

“Thank you,” Harry wrapped his arms around Niall, gently pushing him down on his back on the bed so he could cuddle into his side and resume their earlier position- Harry with his head on Niall's chest and their fingers linked together on Niall's stomach “You make me so happy. Never knew I could be this happy. I thought it was all made up for films and books.”

 

“You make me so happy, too, H.” Niall runs the fingers of his free hands through Harry's long hair “It'll be an honour the day I get to marry you.”

 

“Do you think I'll be a good husband?” Harry asks after a long few moments of silence “I've never been a husband before.”

 

“You'll be the best, H,” Niall whispered in Harry's ear before kissing the top of his head and smiling against his temple “The very, very best.”

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!! Comment to let me know what you think!


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